Zero Punctuation and Final Fantasy XIII

[BloodSquirrel]

There's absolutely no need for Yahtzee to waste his time and ours reviewing a game that we all ready know he's going to utterly hate from the get go. His entire review will be nothing but a bitchfest about JRPG cliches and how much he hates FF fanboys.

Well, to be fair, that's pretty much all of what some of us want from Yahtzee. I mean, it's not like I actually take his reviews seriously, and he's much better when he seems to genuinely dislike what he's ranting against rather than having to come up with excuses to make a game sound worse than it is.

 

[McBurks]

He'll say the graphics are great but the game isn't.

Something along those lines...

 

[CmdrGoob]

I think you missed the point there. I didn't say they were all the same, did I? Perhaps you should read into things a bit more before waffling on like that.

The point I was trying to make was that each character is unique, not recycled.

I think there's a bit of both. For example: beefy martial arts guy who is enthusiastic but a bit dumb - Snow or Zell? Or saccharine cutesy cheerful girl - Vanille or Selphie or even Rikku? Or quiet demure healer girl - Yuna or Aeris? What I'd say is that some of the Final Fantasy characters personalities are heavily set by a particular trope (eg. cute girl or emo hero etc), and these tropes are used fairly unsubtly, which tends to drown out the more subtle differences in their personalities. Then when more than one character is based around the same trope, they come across as being a bit samey because people recognise the unsubtle trope being reused. But it's not the character being reused, it's the trope. It the tropes were used less heavy handedly in many cases the more subtle differences of the character would shine through in more people's memories and less people would think the characters are recyled cliches.

 

[thenoblitt]

I doubt he will review it. But i think if he gave a jrpg a good review the four horseman would come.

I dont know about that he said on the valkyria chronicles review that he might be able to get into Jrpg's but calling valkyria chronicles a Jrpg is a bit of a stretch

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Based on his opinions of JRPG's as a whole it's highly unlikely that he will review the game. It may not treat on the usual path of the style however it's does the angsty teenage androgene's which i know gets his tits in a twist

 

[DoctorX41794]

It's Yahtzee unless this game is really Portal he won't like it.

 

[Aesir23]

Yahtzee? Like a JRPG? That's insane! (I'm not bashing JRPGs since I'm rather fond of them. But we all know how Yahtzee feels about them, no matter how good they are)

 

[-Seraph-]

I'm not overly concerned about him reviewing it personally, I can laugh at his criticisms (or blatant ignorance and pretentiousness) even if it's a game I like. I won't be phased by it seeing as taking him seriously is just down right stupid and he's really nothing more than a loveable troll.

Now what I AM concerned about is the fucking after effect of it all. Good god will the JRPG hate buss be packed and rolling after that. Just the initial backlash of it all is the real groan worthy aspect of it all because I can just tell half the responses to that thread will be full of flame, ignorance, pretentiousness, and many other terrible things.

I don't mind someone not liking a particular genre, but the incessant targeting and flaming of the JRPG around here just perplexes me and leaves my forehead bruised from all the epic facepalms. You don't have to like it but for christ sake you don't have to be such a party pooper for the rest of us, and I fear Yahtzee will only bring this to a whole new low.

 

[Grey_Focks]

seriously. I hope he somehow gets an early copy, reviews it early, then we can get all the "Yahtzee's opinion on FF" topics over with. Whether he does it or not, the goddamn topics are already here, they are already filled with the same people saying the same arguments over and over again, and they are already becoming troll breeding grounds. let's just get it over with so we can all move on.

EDIT: and god save us when Halo:Reach comes out. god save us all.

 

[kawaiiamethist]

There's plenty to rip on, I hope he does review it. I'm actually a little embarrassed, because the title has turned out a tad archaic in nature.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Nope. He'll hate it on principle...

But for arguments sake, the thing about Final Fantasy is that EVERY GAME IS DIFFERENT.

So, you can't just play one or two and justify hating them all. Even if you are some kind of dedicated anti-Japanese gamer. The series reinvents itself with every entry. New combat system, new leveling system, new characters, new location.

This, the only ones that are remotely similar are the old-old ones. That was mostly due to technological shortcomings.

 

[thedouchebag]

I just can't wait to see the massacre because like Yahtzee, i HATE JRPGs

 

[Cobra_X_Commander]

He may review it if enough people pesture him about it. But it won't take him saying Final Fantasy 13 sucks for me to already know that. Final Fantasy started to sink after 12 since in 12 you could pretty much set your characters to do everything in combat for themselves. In turn it wasnt much of an RPG, sure you spend Licences points ((Which may have to be the stupidest things in the world. A licence to wear a bloody hat!? )) and set gambits but in the end of it your mostly just taking your characters from point A to point B then sitting back and watching them take care of the enemies and bosses.

I truely doubt that after the last Final Fantasy that 13 will do anythign different then make it sparkle and Im sure Yahtzee would say the same if he reviewed it. Put glitter and sparkles onto a peice of crap it's still going to be a piece of crap. Besides if were all begging and hoping Yahtzee will review it havent we all accepted the fact that Final Fantasy 13 is going to suck?

 

[Misterian]

now, I haven't played the game, but I examined what I learned about the gameplay.

I don't think any of it is gonna give Yahtzee a opinion on it any different from any other JRPG he dealt with.

In fact, I'll be so bold to say that I think I might be happy if Yahtzee didn't review FFXII.

 

[CheckD3]

Yeah, I see what you're saying with doing renamings, but I think they could take it a bit further and take said FF title, keep the basic concept intact, but take the opportunity to upgrade the mechanics and bring them into the 21st century. To their credit, they do seem to be trying, but at what cost? FF13 may be a prime candidate for showing that they need to lay the FF name to the rest and get a spiritual successor going.

They really do need to lay the franchise down and let it sleep. Maybe forever if need be. With the success of FF and Kingdom Hearts, they're known as a good company. Hell, just selling a game with their stamp on it should be enough. They need to take their game play and stories and turn it into a new franchise. Lose the crazy hair, set the game in the west, and make a story about how stupid Americans are, and bam! The newest game, "Fat Americans" will be the newest franchise from Square Enix, with their new mascot, "Above-Average Ronald" will be the hottest toy around (btw, I'm American and neither fat nor like all those little fucktards who think their the shit because they play an M-rated game online, I promise that not ALL Americans are dipshits, as Yahtzee says in his Silent Hill Homecoming credit, give us some fucking credit. Most of my people aren't THAT thick...promise)

 

[jboking]

Except one of my major criticisms of the FPS genre IS its horrible stagnation. So few of those games actually offer any sort of new experience. That's one of the subtle points I was bringing up. All too often, all they do IS change the guns around and maybe the setting and then claim that it's an entirely new game. "If I see that fucking space marine one more time..."

I see the point you were making, now let me expose the one I was. What you've been experiencing isn't stagnation, but picking a genre. There's nothing wrong with the fact that FPS is always just shooting and hiding. That's a defining point of the genre. Likewise, the similarities between the final fantasy games is simply picking a genre. The fact is, each iteration of the game provides new things and are often very different when you actually delve into the game. If all you look at is the turn based system, then it is the equivalent of looking at just the shooting in an FPS(Or just the sword swinging in Hack-and-Slash, or just the clicking in Adventure games, etc.). It's already been proposed in this thread the number of ways that FF has changed over the years. Look back on those posts and realize, you are narrowing your line of vision simply to what defines the genre they are a part of.

I've heard tale of FF8 and its draw system, and it's usually accompanied by FF fans recoiling in horror and deploying the holy water and garlic. I think I'm best not learning of it, lol.

I'll admit, it definitely isn't for all. However, I myself loved the draw system. Of course, the point is not whether it was good or not, but that it was different from other games. This is a fundamental example of the series evolving over time.

Final Fantasy has basically been stuck in 1987 until only recently when Square Enix finally realized they were developing a game for a system that can actually take some stress. The random encounter system is a great example of this. It made perfect sense back in the day due to the limited resources of the Nintendo. They couldn't figure out how to have the enemies show up until FF12? Really? The series may have evolved graphically, but let's face it, FF had been nothing but a series of prettied up versions of:

Spoiler: snip

and

Spoiler: snip

for a looooooooooong time.

So...Because they didn't change up from random encounters(a change most didn't care for), they were just stagnating? They couldn't have changed the system in which you level, how you earn new abilities, or even some of the core pieces of the battle system and still be considered new?(p.s. FF changed around 2002 when they released FFXI)

FF 12 I actually had some fun with until I got distracted by some other game because Square had finally started to evolve the series. Sure the story was basically the same ole horseshit they've been shilling for two decades(I don't mean to be that guy, but FF12's story was intensely different from what they normally do. The entire story was basically about politics. - jboking), but at least the gameplay was made to be passable for a modern title. To be fair, if FF13 turns out to be something that's actually fun, then sure, I'll give it a whack. I'm not that big of a douche that I won't give a game a fair shake, but it has to continue the evolution that 12 started and not just end up being another round of stagnation.

Well, while I still stick by my idea that turn-based combat doesn't = stagnation, but I have been playing FF13 for a while now and feel I can give you a bit of info on it. It's...quite different. The battle system works as such: You can see your enemy on the battle field. If you approach them you initiate an encounter(not quite random, since you can see who you will be fighting beforehand). The battle system at first looks very familiar, but it soon becomes obvious that it's changed quite a bit. you control only the leader of your party personally. Everyone else is controlled by 'paradigms', which are essentially pre-decided gambits. There is also an auto-battling system for the main character, which honestly makes things far too easy. So far, from what I can tell, the story seems to be an odd mix of FF7 and FF10. They were the most popular titles in the series, so that's fair enough.

 

[Pendragon9]

I think he'll avoid reviewing it just to piss off everyone who wants him to.

And I'll applaud him for doing it.

 

[TOGSolid]

Megasnip

I actually don't mind turn based combat. Like I've mentioned, I played the shit out of Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness. A good turn based game can be worse than the purest cocaine known to mankind. If it came off that I don't like turn based combat, then whoopsy on my part.
My issues with FF's stagnation have to do with a lot of little things spread out through the game that really bugged me. The random encounters were just an example (and one of my biggest sources of rage which is why FF12 was actually kinda fun). I'll sit and wait patiently for reviews of FFXIII to come in. If it sounds decent, I'll give it a whack.

 

[RadicalDreamer90]

He's already made reference to reviewing Final Fantasy 13 and dreading it at the end of last year so he's going to review eventually. As for liking it I highly doubt it. Even though I can argue that Final Fantasy consistently changes game play, story and various other feature per entry, in a nutshell, it's the exact same concept, in a different world with diff characters, and If a fan notices common stuff like that, someone who despises the genre certainly will. He's going to make all of the cliche' review remarks I've already heard, and if he makes a metro joke about hope or a douche bag joke about Snow, I will have totally called it.

 

[asdasdasdasda]

2 things
1. The man tends to avoid games like that until 2 months or so of his inbox being shitted on by fan boys
2. He tends to hate J-RPGs

On a side note I think he would have loved the Witcher if he had time to get into it. Though to be fair that game did have a ridiculous learning curve.

Seriously? Combat was pretty much clicking your mouse, then clicking it again. And changing stances based on what you're fighting.