Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed 2

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dwoo21

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Aug 30, 2009
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VideoNasty said:
assassins creed is shit suck my balls
Why would you want someone to do that? To prove your point that the game is bad? I think if you don't put down a solid argument on WHY you thought the game was bad then you can't say the game sucks...have you even played it?
 

dwoo21

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Aug 30, 2009
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CrossLOPER said:
I'm glad it's better than the original, even though I haven't gotten into the series. Maybe I'll check out the first.
Don't buy the second one just yet because I made that mistake. I'm now trying to get through and savor the first when I already have the second.
 

JackrabbitSlim

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Apr 15, 2009
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This is the first time I've ever noticed a missed opportunity in a ZP video. He never commented on the QTE-like sequences to do pointless crap like move a baby's legs or give Leonardo Da Vinci a hug.

Still, awesome review.
 

Curbinator

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Dec 22, 2008
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personally I like the idea of easy money. I'm not here to play bankers creed. That was the bullshit with fable 2. I had to actually stop playing the game for 2 weeks or sit for an almost equal amount of time doing boring jobs to make enough money to buy one fucking castle and play its on gimptastic mission
 

MoSKo13

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Oct 9, 2009
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I really don't like the new voice, seems much more slower and has lost its edge. Go back to the old sound!
 

deplorable

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Feb 29, 2008
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Is it me or does he sound funny in this one... and again, he just fails at reviewing ... i think he should give up, the fact his first joke revolved around "italians are fags" is just so... *yawn* maybe he needs a new dayjob.. i mean if italians were all fags why is their prime minister managing to bed women half his age in a cardinal orgy all the time ;)

jealously yahtzee... or was it because you tried to play left for dead 2 in your "country" and realised there's no gore or blood and cried all the way home....

making fun of the girls face, i thought it arcuately looked like the person it was not only voice by but actually based on... you know.. ;)

Beggers or minstrelss in this case are easy to get rid of, didn't he manage to figure out the "throw money" part of the game. It's a lot easier than actually paying for the thiefs and bandits (which are useless, dotting around).

Although to be honest killing the minstrels was a lot easier, sure you get a warning and after the 3rd one dies you get a "1 more and you'll get desynced" but... but it does make the guards wander up to the bodies. Very handy getting codex pages as there's always a minstrel around.

When you're against 10 enemies the poison comes in handy.. use a smoke bomb, poison a couple and watch as they go a bit crazy and start hacking their own men (and any innocents about). Par Excellance... wait didn't you notice that Yahtzee (sometimes i wonder if he even plays the game ., engages his brain or watches someone else play it)

You get paid every 20 minutes (it actually tells you this though), and tells you how much you can hold in your villa (i swear did you play this? kinda obvious). Money is used for buying paintings, armour (handy when first starting) and getting achievements/trophies and making your villa actually get some progression from a rundown falling apart villa to a piece of art by the end of the game. (or after you get around 80% another trophy in the bag too).

lets take Dragons Age (one that Yahtzee liked) you get the Blood Armour for buying the game, little use actually using any other armour, seriously... just be a warrior.. shove whatever you want on any other character and carry on... worse you can buy the blood armour for every warrior class in your party.. so much blood armour you're amazed it's not on sale daily. I like mocking Dragons Age, the only game RPG that i hit level 20 within the first hour.



Games aren't supposed to be easy/hard.... they're supposed to be fun, for entertainment value [anything else is just epeen] (that thing your mind seems to lack the concept off whenever you play any games - unchartered 2 for instance).

Now lets look at the ACTUAL badpoints of the game:

Combat - unwieldly especially using "longweapons" and "throwing sand in the faces of the guards"
Climbing - when you learn the giant leap jump thing, making it work all the time without your hands becoming mindless messes is annoying for the PS3 it's "while in high mode hit X, then hold and hit O while pressing the left stick up, and if you're still holding L1 with fear of releasing it to grab R1 for High mode.. don't worry falling is fun"
Jumping - the amount of times i've been a degree off angle to watch Enzio plummet is the "tomb raider" syndrome of yesteryear.
The Feathers - Seriously 100 feathers... wow that took a lot of time to think up to piss off anyone who still remembers the "flags" from the first game.

Amazingly he didn't talk about the new characters and the fantastic interface which basically gives you lessons on famous buildings and the people you are killing. Whole wealth of info that is both interesting and informative. Plus the fact that Italy looks amazing in that period whether you enjoyed it or not.... then again Yathzee is in Australia the land of "wow.. more empty land... crickey"

2/10 for this review... he needs to be funny, witty, slighly more sarcastic ... there's nothing here, i'm off to watch some of the early videos where he was actually funny.
 

xDarc

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Feb 19, 2009
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Greyfox105 said:
Ha, I love the Jurassic Park reference :D
"start hunting in packs" - Clever Girl.
Good one, although sounds like you have a throat infection Yahtzee.
Funniest part of the entire video.
 

Quoth

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Aug 28, 2008
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Funny review as ever and I just about managed to pull my ear phones out before the big boss spoiler ;)
 

Cilliandrew

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Jul 10, 2009
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I really liked the Jurassic Park reference.

EDIT: Nice to see other people appreciated it too!
 

Haderos

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Dec 4, 2009
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deplorable said:
i mean if italians were all fags why is their prime minister managing to bed women half his age in a cardinal orgy all the time ;)
Because he pays them, they are prostitutes.

Fun fact:
When Viagra was launched in Europe, most were sold in Italy.

They are fags and impotent too :D.
 

Versago

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May 28, 2009
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The review was both fun, funny and good.
But Yahtzee's increased volume, change in tone and slowness kinda let it down a little.
Is there a new microphone in? The old type was much better.

But in a way that nitpicking, its still a great video, its just got a reduction auditarily quality.
 

lohac

Is Now A Hero
Nov 8, 2007
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Augg said:
great review man
is the "Shot a man to watch him die" text at the end screen by any chance a Johnny Cash reference?
Man, I was just browsing to the last page and was afraid no one else would've gotten that. There's no way it isn't. And man, people, knock it off about the voices in your heads already.
 

valekreed

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Dec 4, 2009
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He's obviously just upgraded his recording equipment. He trying to give the best product he can offer. Something I wish "movie Bob" would do, seeing that it sounds like he's narrating from within his bathroom.