Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

[GrizzlerBorno]

You know what sucks? Some Motherf$*#ing R$T*$ded F#@*$er in some forum somewhere (i think IGN) ruined the story for me by posting a single line that reveals the big twist at the end. Didn't even use this, the bastard:

Spoiler

I'm not that Dick and hence will not write it.

Spoiler

But i have to know!

Spoiler

Ok here goes nothing:

Spoiler

Does Lucy Really Die at the end?

Spoiler

No Don't Tell me.

Spoiler

I must know

Spoiler

AGHHHGHGH! Don't tell me!

 

[Jedted]

I was waiting for him to say what he thinks about Shawn. Clearly the only thing that can make one snarky brit happy is another snarky brit.

I loved AC:B personally but god damn, Ubisoft really loves those cliffhanger endings! It sucks having to wait so damn long to find out what happens to Desmond.

 

[Vect]

Well, I liked the Assassin Recruits thing. Maybe it's because it makes the player feel like "This is below me. Hey, you can take this."

I had a feeling that a good part of Shaun's appeal to Yahtzee is his assholishness towards Desmond. I can tell that he's pretty happy about the ending for at least one spoileriffic reason...

 

[Orinon]

hmm i just had an idea for assassin's creed 3 they could put it in the cld war playing as a spy killing commie, or even better as a russian spy killing americans that'll stir up some steam.

 

[SilverKyo]

You know what sucks? Some Motherf$*#ing R$T*$ded F#@*$er in some forum somewhere (i think IGN) ruined the story for me by posting a single line that reveals the big twist at the end. Didn't even use this, the bastard:

Spoiler

I'm not that Dick and hence will not write it.

Spoiler

But i have to know!

Spoiler

Ok here goes nothing:

Spoiler

Does Lucy Really Die at the end?

Spoiler

No Don't Tell me.

Spoiler

I must know

Spoiler

AGHHHGHGH! Don't tell me!

so do you want the answer to that question? i can tell you the answer if you want to know.

 

[legendaryboy1994]

Yahtzee, you are great critic, I admire your work....
I'm mexican and so I have problems understanding some english (although I'm barely good, hence I'm writing these) specially the quick talking english from an English man living in Australia....
But I do observe the points you develop for every review. Although what I search in videogames is a good story, you actually know what's important in a videogame. I'm a writer and critic, but I have lots of flaws when analyzing some works (I write critics, mostly personal, to books, Anime, videogames, TV programs and...bah, anything that has story ((or attempt of story) on it)
and so watching your reviews help me a lot.
I will certainly read your novel.

You are fucking awesome!

I apologize for the fan boyish these message may seem.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Haha, was actually thinking about the resemblance to the snarky man and you before I finished the game. Nice review.

 

[esliang]

Good as always. I was really looking forward to a ZP opinion on a multiplayer-heavy game.

 

[Infernai]

Screw that. I want him to review that new Naruto game that came out. Nothing but pure hilarity and fan girl tears.

If he did that, he'd likely kill himself before he even got to the Hour mark.

 

[Adam Galli]

Yhatzee rules!!!!

 

[garMov]

Not to be the guy to land ass first on big ben,but don't you have a starcraft2 to review?

 

[xdiesp]

I was born in US, as was my father, but his father was born in Sicily.

Then you're american. With roots somewhere in Europe like everybody else. And please don't turn into a monster like the jersey creatures.

 

[squrtis123]

I can seriously say that I think this was the funniest review that Yahtzee has ever made! On the off chance he reads these comments then I'm proud to say that "Mogworld" is a diamond in today's pile of shit literature of Vampire romances!

 

[David Worrall]

Off topic but i have to say i just started reading mogworld and it is very good.

 

[Ashcrexl]

wait wait wait.

yahtzee mentions ffx-2 being terrible. this would suggest he has played ffx-2. he also mentions that it is like an optional side story expansion to a main game. this would suggest he has played ffx. but that's... not possible.

what the hell?! i must be reading too much into this.

 

[Something Amyss]

I always did see a similarity between Yahtzee and Assassin's Creed's Shawn.

I never did. I always secretly hoped Desmond would assassinate one and wanted to make sweet sweet love to the other.

I'll let you sort out which is which.

I was cautious when I first saw this game advertised. Then they made me excited. Near release date, I got cautious again. Since the main reason I'd buy this is the multiplayer, finding out it's lackluster is inane. I was hesitant to pay 60 dollars before, but I'm flat out uninterested. Not because of ZP, it just reaffirms what I keep reading: ACB has poorly thought out multiplayer.

 

[Skinny Razor]

Dead legs? The strange text-based anorak purgatory of Championship Manager? A chalk talk for wee assassins? This is the most football-centric ZP ever! But would Yahtzee really open the door for a bottle of Turning Leaf? The shame, the shame.

 

[Nouw]

Evict them? Hilarious!

And Yahtzee has a daughter? Awesome Review.

 

[Dak_N_Jaxter]

LOL
I get the apple bit now.