Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

[TheAngryMonkey]

Good comment on developers installing their games onto the PS3, I always get nervous when a game doesn't install.

 

[rokkolpo]

hahaha... looks like I won't be getting Bayonetta afterall, due to the lack of money and that it is shit... =P

why would it be shit?

he didn't say anything really bad about it.

 

[k-ossuburb]

I've seen videos on [another site] that show that the "automatic" mode allows you to play one-handed, glean from that what you will.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

Hahaha, the Twilight reference made me laugh. Ah, Yahtzee, <3.

Scary how he knows what the vampires in the Twilight books look like. Almost as if he's... read... them.

D:

Or maybe he just stood around long enough - about three seconds - in any area of civilisation and waited for a thirteen year to walk past with an Edward Cullen tshirt.

 

[TheUnbeholden]

This was a pretty funny review, I mean I like all Yahtzee's reviews but this was the first one in a while I'd laughed out loud at. Especially at the vampires being likened to 'solar powered disco balls.' I hate Twilight.

Best part of this video for me was the subtle dig at Twilight. Thank god some people recognise that shite for what it is.

This I think was uncalled for.

SO I've been watching Yahtzee for a while now. I first started watching cause I was looking for some good british humor. I at the time was watching a sort of funny parody of shitty movies so I wouldn't have to watch them, crammed into a 10 minute review called 10 Minute Theater and it was hell funny. Then I found yahtzee and found he does parodies of shitty games so I don't have to play them. And it has all beeen fun times since then, cracking up laughing crazily and disturbing the other patrons of the internet cafe I'm going to. But Now it has momentarily struck a cord for me when yahtzee made the joke on the Twilight. As a big fan of vampires (like the Anne Rice novels) and as a fan of twilight, for the teenage romance which I've always been fascinated with love, the concept and the pleasure it can bring. I understand that most of the fans of twilight are teenage girls, but I'm a teenage guy, that also watches yahtzee and likes it. I understand how everyone goes over how the sparkling thing is pretty much made for fangirls to go all gooey over, but I literally let it slide and sort of pushed it aside as I was reading it. I didn't anything of it really, and to have twilight ridiculed in the comments even though yahtzee was just parodying twilight and not actually hating it I think some people missed that. So twilight haters I understand you cannot understand teenage romance or perhaps never experienced it yourselves hence why your so cold and bitter (or perhaps your just jumping on the bandwagon) but you don't have to spam yahtzee's comment section about it... keep it to youtube and other trolling grounds.

I don't think it's quite right to say that this game does to witches what Twilight did to vampires. It would give people the wrong idea about what the game is like. Sure, Twilight reduced vampires to desirable sex objects, but it constantly tried to pretend it wasn't, whereas it sounds like this game isn't trying to pretend anything but that. So, you can say it has this much over Twilight: it's at least honest with itself.

It wasn't as much about vampires, as it is about teenage romance.

Anne Rice made vampires into perfect beautiful beings (and dark gods for that matter) long before Twilight.

Hahaha, the Twilight reference made me laugh. Ah, Yahtzee, <3.

Scary how he knows what the vampires in the Twilight books look like. Almost as if he's... read... them.

D:

Theres a movie you know

2 Actually.

 

[Jezixo]

Awesome. One of the best Zero Punctuations in ages, even though the previous ones were excellent too. This is still the best thing on Escapist.

I especially agree with with what Yahtzee said about not being affected by attempts to tickle my undercarriage or some-such, on account of being british; I was immediately repulsed from this game when I saw the way they were marketing it, because all the boobs and sexual things made me feel very uncomfortable. Call me immature if you like, but I thought this game was supposed to be marketed at immature people anyway?

I think the gaming-industry/developer-of-this-game needs to take a look at itself and really ask what the hell it's trying to do.

 

[Britisheagle]

Haven't played the game as of yet but been debating whether to get it. Sounds not too bad actually, might give it a go .
Hope Borderlands does stop crashing on him, would love to hear what he has to say, even though its a game I truely like haha

 

[Chartic]

I nearly coughed up a lung when I saw the Yahtzee Japanese love pillow

Huge Wall of text

There are a lot of Twilight fans that would have gone off on a rant with bad resoning as soon as they saw any post making fun of it, but I'm glad to see that you aren't one of them, you obviously have intelligence. People don't hate Twilight solely for reasons like that, the main problems people have with it are the fanbase and how overhyped it is, by said fanbase.

The fanbase is overflowing with teenage girls who believe that this is the epitome of love novels, of all literature. They ignore any fault with the book and will fight back at anyone attempting to say it is bad. These people are the reason that everyone hates Twilight. If not for them it would not have gotten even half as much Ire as it has.

The other problem is that the book has some hidden messages in it that have huge problems in what they are saying. If you look closely you can tell that the book is trying to show women are immoral while men need to be strong and pure. It also has a women who is using another man, leading him on, until her other boyfriend comes back, where he promptly leaves him. And don't get me started on the abusive relationship.

Now I'm not trying to say that you liking Twilight is a bad thing or that you shouldn't, I'm just trying to tell you that there are reasons that people dislike the book, and some of them may not be just due to them being hateful towards it. There are some actual concrete evidence that it deserves some hate.

 

[Revolutionary]

Ploish a pickled gerkin Eh?
Lol I love it when he says "arse, I mean............Arse"

 

[Aiwe]

I've seen videos on [another site] that show that the "automatic" mode allows you to play one-handed, glean from that what you will.

You got a link for that? because I've played on very easy with the marionette on (I tend to start games on the easiest mode available and work my way up) and while it completes combos for you (usually not the combo you were trying for which is annoying after a while) the kicks and punches are still on one side of the controller and directional movement on the other, maybe I just have small hands or no co-ordination but I'm not convinced I could manage both with one hand.

 

[Alpha1Niner]

I lol'd at the "spam, spam, spam" and the Yahtzee pillow.

And yeah, Twilight is bs.

 

[k-ossuburb]

I've seen videos on [another site] that show that the "automatic" mode allows you to play one-handed, glean from that what you will.

You got a link for that? because I've played on very easy with the marionette on (I tend to start games on the easiest mode available and work my way up) and while it completes combos for you (usually not the combo you were trying for which is annoying after a while) the kicks and punches are still on one side of the controller and directional movement on the other, maybe I just have small hands or no co-ordination but I'm not convinced I could manage both with one hand.

Well I could give you a link, but Google turns up more than enough results.

http://www.videogamesblogger.com/2009/08/25/play-bayonetta-with-one-hand-in-very-easy-automatic-mode.htm

The above is the first one on the list, but there's many, many more.

 

[Andaxay]

Or maybe he just stood around long enough - about three seconds - in any area of civilisation and waited for a thirteen year to walk past with an Edward Cullen tshirt.

I've taken to closing my curtains against civilisation due to this. Even during the day.

Theres a movie you know

2 Actually.

Watching the films is even worse than reading the books. I was forced through the first by my sister, who is OBSESSED with the whole thing.

Especially Robert Pattinson. I mean... why? Seriously?

Anyway. I have Bayonetta, and quite enjoy its button-mashing, clusterfuck fun. It's a game where I don't have to think, at all, and it's a nice relief from life, haha. Even if Bayonetta herself sounds like a much smarmier Lara Croft.

 

[PissedGrunty]

Patch 1.01 is up on the PS3, adds an install feature. Cuts the load times by 70%. Very nice, but why wasn't it here already?

 

[NJ]

"Tan-fuckin'-fastic!"

I lol'd so hard.

 

[MetalGenocide]

The game licks..i mean looks nice, but I'm not an console owner so
"How about I review Borderlands when it agrees to stop crashing on me"...uhh... please? If only.....So far hasn't crashed on me, or showed any bugs.

 

[reiem531]

I like how he says "GRAPES" at around 1:27

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

This I think was uncalled for.

SO I've been watching Yahtzee for a while now. I first started watching cause I was looking for some good british humor. I at the time was watching a sort of funny parody of shitty movies so I wouldn't have to watch them, crammed into a 10 minute review called 10 Minute Theater and it was hell funny. Then I found yahtzee and found he does parodies of shitty games so I don't have to play them. And it has all beeen fun times since then, cracking up laughing crazily and disturbing the other patrons of the internet cafe I'm going to. But Now it has momentarily struck a cord for me when yahtzee made the joke on the Twilight. As a big fan of vampires (like the Anne Rice novels) and as a fan of twilight, for the teenage romance which I've always been fascinated with love, the concept and the pleasure it can bring. I understand that most of the fans of twilight are teenage girls, but I'm a teenage guy, that also watches yahtzee and likes it. I understand how everyone goes over how the sparkling thing is pretty much made for fangirls to go all gooey over, but I literally let it slide and sort of pushed it aside as I was reading it. I didn't anything of it really, and to have twilight ridiculed in the comments even though yahtzee was just parodying twilight and not actually hating it I think some people missed that. So twilight haters I understand you cannot understand teenage romance or perhaps never experienced it yourselves hence why your so cold and bitter (or perhaps your just jumping on the bandwagon) but you don't have to spam yahtzee's comment section about it... keep it to youtube and other trolling grounds.

You found four diatribes out of three hundred comments. I like your definition of spam.

Seriously, this is why people such as myself have such a passionate loathing for Twilight; because Twilight fans can't accept any criticism of their favourite book, like it's a personal insult to them. People regularly get actually beaten up for expressing negative opinions of it. Dude, as Yahtzee himself said in the Mailbag Showdown review, [sic]if you personally enjoyed something then you shouldn't let those opinions get to you - unless there's a niggling doubt that you didn't really enjoy it as much as you did.

Anyway, my cold black heart is off to read D.H. Lawrence or some other romantic literature that is actually, you know, good.

 

[beema]

Really funny review this time. Had me laughing more than your others lately. When you launched into the packman plot and got flustered was hilarious.

I tried the Bayonetta demo and felt like I was having an epileptic seizure. Plus QTE's are fucking evil and need to go away. So, not for me.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Ummmmmm.... Yahtzee, why did that Japanese love pillow have a picture of you on it??