Zero Punctuation: Beyond: Two Souls

[Thaluikhain]

That final line in the credits reveals too much truth.

Yeah, I'd like to think Yahtzee got turned down by her or something.

Anyhoo, got some good laughs from me at the start, hadn't found the last few vids that funny, but this one worked for me.

 

[Casual Shinji]

So it's basically Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy but worse?

Well that, and every character is played by Ellen Page.

This is literally the game for Ellen Page fanboys. There's Carrie Ellen Page, Commando Ellen Page, Goth Ellen Page, Hobo Ellen Page, Bald Psych Ward Ellen Page, and Native-American Ellen Page.

 

[Daaaah Whoosh]

Yeah, this is basically what I expected: no actual game, just typical video game storyline trying to be better than itself by copying from less interactive media. And Ellen Page.

 

[Your Fearless Captain]

Well I liked it. I liked all of David Cages games.

 

[Falterfire]

But seriously, games that are pure story, like Dear Ester or The Parable of Stanley only seem to work as very short little indie games. Try and make anything large out of them and they soon get very clunky and very pretentious very, very quickly.

I'm gonna go ahead and pin that on the sheer length required. It's hard to have a good, compelling story and stretch it out over more than two or three hours without it starting to really drag unless there's something (Good gameplay for example) to keep the player's interest.

I spent way more time than I'm willing to admit screwing around on Encounters in Fire Emblem: Awakening just to see more of the character interactions.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I like Ellen Page, but I honestly can't tell if Yahtzee is criticizing her, or just can't remember the main character's name. Ah well, if I need a decent ghost game I can always dig out Geist.

Oh Geist was the shit back in the day. ^_^

Terrorizing guards to forcibly bodyjack them in the single player was highly amusing, and the multiplayer...oh gosh the multiplayer. My friends and I had a TON of fun with that.

Somehow, possessing a missile to ram it into another player, or possessing a box of dynamite and triggering it when someone was running past never lost its charm. ^_^

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

So now we'll just wait for Ellen Page to try and sue Yahtzee for "public shaming" or what?

EDIT: Sorry. "Take legal action" is probably the phrase they'd use.

 

[bdcjacko]

Hmmm, does Jim know you stole his Dafoe?

 

[Machine Man 1992]

I hope someone answers that phone, because I fucking called it!

This game looked like a train wreck, sounded like a train wreck, and given the reviews I've seen, IS a train wreck. But no the fun kind, the slow train wreck, where a single car falls off the rails.

Who else thinks David Cage is going to be out of business?

 

[FPLOON]

Also, I loved "Despite Ellen Page I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage."

For me, it was the "Ellem Page David Cage Rage Gauge"... That's now going to be the title I use whenever I talk about Beyond Two: Souls (or was it Two Souls Beyond... I can't remember...)

OT: Yeah, even when I saw someone give a good review of this game, I still had a hard time believing that it was as good as the reviewer was saying it was though... But, now I want to see Willem DaFoe's character cry in this game for some reason...

 

[PunkRex]

I watched the Two Best Friends play the party scene on Youtube yesterday... it was the most awkward shit i've ever seen.

 

[The Great JT]

So the Ellen And Dave's Faffing About Adventure was bad, huh. Well, I'm kind of relieved. It means that for all Cage's prattling about regarding "emotion," we know the only emotion his forays into gaming inspire is apathy. Well all right, I'm holding back, David Cage's games inspire a lot of emotions in me. For example, there's the aforementioned apathy, there's annoyance, boredom, anger (mostly over the fact I spent money on this as opposed to food), all kinds of emotions! Just a shame that they're negative things, Davey!

Also, I don't think Ellen Page is that good of an actor. Not bad, but no one I'd care to follow the career of.

 

[mechalynx]

Well I liked it. I liked all of David Cages games.

This, only I harbor much stronger emotions for BTS. I frikkin' love it to bits.

David Cage's design worked for me. The only thing I can complain about is that now I will have to wait years until his next title. And, considering his stance on sequels, that giant sequel hook at the end will never be resolved.

 

[Yopaz]

Hunky boyzzzz ^__^

You should avoid posting low content posts since they will net you a warning.

OT: This has got to be the best one in a while. I really enjoyed this review.

Also I have to say I loathe games that rely on quick time events rather than gameplay. A good story is important, but I still want to play my games rather than watch them.

I'm starting to wonder if David Beige has ever actually talked to a real woman before.

This review is actually a lot like trying to play through any of David Beige's games: Soul crushing.

Did you know that before going to talk to Ellen Page about appearing in his very shitty game that he compiled a massive scrapbook of pictures of her as a child he found on the internet? And that he took it with him to their interview.

http://www.lazygamer.net/general-news/david-cage-went-crazy-for-ellen-page/

This makes the fact that he actually rendered her model completely naked and extremely detailed for the shower scene all the creepier.

Then again, his last female character spent the entire game appealing to a variety of fetishes and saying "you go girl" to herself so we didn't have very far to fall.

OK, that is Beyond (Two Souls?) creepy. I guess this explains why his characters don't really seem human... seeing he's got no clue how a normal human would behave apparently.

 

[Mr. Q]

I can thankfully say that I have never played any of David Cage's games.
I looked at them and read about them for a bit and they all just seem ... bad ... in a weird way.

Same here. Everyone of his games look like a movie, especially when you've got Willem Dafoe, but it lacks any good qualities to draw you in. Even a bad movie like Street Fighter has something (I.E. Raul Julia's over-the-top performance) but David Cage's games only have the foul smelling taint of a bad auteur who is too much in love with himself, his "talent", and his obsession with better graphics.

 

[K12]

I'm quite glad this game isn't very good with all the pretentiousness that was attached to the making of it.

I kinda feel the same whenever a Hollywood name is expected to be the only selling point to a game. It's all "stand back you useful amateurs and let us show you what can be done by people who know how stories should REALLY be told"... though I do like Ellen Page.

 

[Darth Sea Bass]

Despite Ellen Page I am still just a rat in a cage. Priceless.

 

[Erttheking]

All right I'm just gonna come right out and say it. With the exception of all the controversy around the Last of Us and this game, I have no fraking idea who the fuck Ellen Page is. Can someone please tell me what the big broo ha ha is? How come so many people love her and how come so many people here hate her?

Also there's a lot of David Cage hatred going on in here. I know there was that whole Emotions Emotions Emotions thing, but what did he do to get people to hate him THIS much? I thought the general conscientious was that Heavy Rain was decent at the very least. Even Yahtzee liked it.

 

[KDR_11k]

Actually ten years ago Valve was bragging about the facial animations in Half Life 2.