XD This was easily the funniest ZP I've seen in a long time! I had to pause and wait for myself to finish laughing several times so I wouldn't miss the rest of the review. Although, the fart description at the end was absolutely nauseating.
Zero Punctuation: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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Thank you Yahtzee.
Just beat it last night, being a Castlevania fanboy I didn't want to take stabs at it and slander the good name in front of the douchebags I play xbox with and the dickheads at gamestop where I buy my games from and get forced into conversations with.
Lets just say I was eagerly awaiting this review just to get the rage out before I pummel an infant.
Just beat it last night, being a Castlevania fanboy I didn't want to take stabs at it and slander the good name in front of the douchebags I play xbox with and the dickheads at gamestop where I buy my games from and get forced into conversations with.
Lets just say I was eagerly awaiting this review just to get the rage out before I pummel an infant.
Just before the four minute mark there's that line about stopping sex to wipe the sneeze off your lover's forehead and then she stabs you...
So you and Rebecca hooked up then?
So you and Rebecca hooked up then?
I love how it says "available now: amazon, gamestop, etc etc" on the bottom of the page. It's like "now that you've heard how Yahtzee shredded the game to bits, would you like to buy it?"
The first time I saw Castlevania : Lord of Shadows, I knew I was going to hate it for being too much of a God of War ripoff. When I played the demo, it made that even clearer. I don't know why it got a high rating in a certain game magazine (maybe I shouldn't be surprised at this point, considering the bad reviews most magazines give). Yahtzee summed it well: what's so Castlevania about this God of War wannabe? The Western developers for this mentioned that they want to remake the series and "try something new"... and what they mean by that is make it their own version of frickin' God of War.
Yes the portal joke felt shoehorned into the game, but are you saying that it ruined the entire game? What if you never found that scroll? Would the game suddenly have been more fun? And this game was intended to be a reboot. Didn't you say that a proper reboot makes a nod to the franchise, but doesn't copy it entirely?Yahtzee Croshaw said:
You do realize all but like four reviewers gave Castlevania lords of shadow a score of 90 or above?sukotsuto said:
One of his funniest reviews in a while. I liked the line about the gizzards flying prettily across the room.
Random thought: When he put up the two chocolate bars to represent good and evil, did anybody who has never been to Australia know what the evil chocolate bar was? I know anybody who is English would have no idea...
Random thought: When he put up the two chocolate bars to represent good and evil, did anybody who has never been to Australia know what the evil chocolate bar was? I know anybody who is English would have no idea...
Hey I dug playing on Castlevania for the n64.
Favorite/hated moment of that game: Going to get the Nitroglycerin and heading back >
Favorite/hated moment of that game: Going to get the Nitroglycerin and heading back >
Oh he's in the game. I wont give any spoilers, but during the epilogue you get a big surprise.The Great JT said:
I looks like I will have to break out the word "seriously" again, like I mentioned in my thread about words I am addicted to using.Misho- said:Which is a lie of courseSonic Doctor said:
Seriously, I meant everything I said about Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow of the Colossus... nice one, Yahtzee.
"That game had SIXTEEN colossi, and we've got THREE!"
(*uncomfortable silence*)
"So where do you want this LIKE GOD OF WAR BUT stamp?"
I knew Yahtzee was gonna bring out that stamp after I saw the ending message from this week's Unskippable.
So let's review:
Darksiders - Like God of War but
Bayonetta - Like Devil May Cry but
Dante's Inferno - Like God of War
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow -
Like God of War but like Shadow of the Colossus and gets a bit Dante's Inferno-y at times
Can't wait for the next time that stamp is needed.
"That game had SIXTEEN colossi, and we've got THREE!"
(*uncomfortable silence*)
"So where do you want this LIKE GOD OF WAR BUT stamp?"
I knew Yahtzee was gonna bring out that stamp after I saw the ending message from this week's Unskippable.
So let's review:
Darksiders - Like God of War but
Bayonetta - Like Devil May Cry but
Dante's Inferno - Like God of War
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow -
Like God of War but like Shadow of the Colossus and gets a bit Dante's Inferno-y at times
Can't wait for the next time that stamp is needed.
A little background on my history with Castlevania. I've been a dedicated fan of the series since the first one came out for the NES in 86'. I was like 9 at the time, but I loved the hell out of that game. I then played Simon's Quest (not the biggest fan now), and Dracula's Curse (my 3rd favorite of the series). Actualy in order I'd say my favorite CV games (before LoS) are: SotN, Rondo of Blood, Dracula's Curse, and Order of Ecclesia. I've played every console CV, and all but two of the handhelds...
and... I really don't understand how anyone (who was actually bothered to play the full game, and NO the demo DOES NOT give you a good idea of what the rest of the game is like!) could come away with anything but "That was the best Castlevania game I've played since..." as their primary response to the experience of playing this game. And yes the first 1/2 or so of the game feels like some of the wilderness locations in Order of Ecclessia more than proper Castlevania levels, but once you get to Wygol, that all goes out the window for the next three or four chapters (about 15 or 20 "levels" in total). As you slowly ascend the coolest castle I think I've ever seen in a Castlevania game (it's also freaking ridiculously huge... just look at it in the distance when you enter Wygol).
And to be perfectly honest I can't imagine this game working in 3D, w/out using similar combat mechanics to GoW. I mean if "you" were to make a 3D castlevania, where the main character uses a whip, various selectable items, and magic, how would "you" make the combat work? Probably pretty damn close to what this game already did.
Sure the Colossus battles were a little close to a certain masterpiece, and the climbing was a little Uncharted/Prince of Persia-esque, but once again... how else would you approach programming those elements? At least this game gives you a respawn point after almost every jump, so platforming NEVER feels frustrating.
Furthermore, the vistas you see in this game almost make the price of admission worth it alone (then add on top of that an intriguing story, excellent enemy designs, more fluid and complex combat than GoW, and the dual magic which gives boss battles an extra layer . I clocked over 20 hours in this game easily over a period of a week. Thatw asn't even going back to complete each levels bonus challenges, or returning to previously explored areas to unlock all of the upgrades I didn't have access to on my first time through.
The game does have a few very minor flaws, but I am glad I took this trip into a newly rebooted Castlevania universe and I'm greatly looking forward to where Mercury Steam takes the franchise from here (part 2 is already under way).
and... I really don't understand how anyone (who was actually bothered to play the full game, and NO the demo DOES NOT give you a good idea of what the rest of the game is like!) could come away with anything but "That was the best Castlevania game I've played since..." as their primary response to the experience of playing this game. And yes the first 1/2 or so of the game feels like some of the wilderness locations in Order of Ecclessia more than proper Castlevania levels, but once you get to Wygol, that all goes out the window for the next three or four chapters (about 15 or 20 "levels" in total). As you slowly ascend the coolest castle I think I've ever seen in a Castlevania game (it's also freaking ridiculously huge... just look at it in the distance when you enter Wygol).
And to be perfectly honest I can't imagine this game working in 3D, w/out using similar combat mechanics to GoW. I mean if "you" were to make a 3D castlevania, where the main character uses a whip, various selectable items, and magic, how would "you" make the combat work? Probably pretty damn close to what this game already did.
Sure the Colossus battles were a little close to a certain masterpiece, and the climbing was a little Uncharted/Prince of Persia-esque, but once again... how else would you approach programming those elements? At least this game gives you a respawn point after almost every jump, so platforming NEVER feels frustrating.
Furthermore, the vistas you see in this game almost make the price of admission worth it alone (then add on top of that an intriguing story, excellent enemy designs, more fluid and complex combat than GoW, and the dual magic which gives boss battles an extra layer . I clocked over 20 hours in this game easily over a period of a week. Thatw asn't even going back to complete each levels bonus challenges, or returning to previously explored areas to unlock all of the upgrades I didn't have access to on my first time through.
The game does have a few very minor flaws, but I am glad I took this trip into a newly rebooted Castlevania universe and I'm greatly looking forward to where Mercury Steam takes the franchise from here (part 2 is already under way).
