Zero Punctuation: Dragon Age II

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MirrorForTheSun

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Feb 21, 2011
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This review in a nutshell:

"BAWWW IT'S NOT IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF THE HERO'S JOURNEY, A.K.A. EVERY VIDEO GAME PLOT EVER. I'M SO MAD BIOWARE DIDN'T GO WITH THE SAME PLOT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH I'D BE MAD IF THEY DID."
 

Da Joz

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May 19, 2009
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I'm glad I didn't waste any money on this game, the demo helped me with that decision.
 

teh_Canape

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May 18, 2010
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I still can't wrap my head around why he still shits over Bioshock 2 so much

I found it to be one of the best examples of unnecessary yet legitimately good sequels
 

postblitz

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May 5, 2009
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Mike as character name, unusual heroes' journey is all i got from all the comments. Good points though.

in my opinion:
dragon age 2 is well worth playing though overpriced. if you loved the first game you'll enjoy the second unless you're very pretentious. Its not a shining beacon of bioware excellence but it does the job allright.

yahtzee's best point was also his first: DA2 is a cash stream that could've been another river.

owel.. fun review as always! =)
 

RedEyesBlackGamer

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Jan 23, 2011
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MirrorForTheSun said:
This review in a nutshell:

"BAWWW IT'S NOT IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF THE HERO'S JOURNEY, A.K.A. EVERY VIDEO GAME PLOT EVER. I'M SO MAD BIOWARE DIDN'T GO WITH THE SAME PLOT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH I'D BE MAD IF THEY DID."
No, the problem was that the game never had a defined goal and plot events were barely connected.
 

Mikeyfell

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Aug 24, 2010
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That is how you review Dragon Age 2.
I don't know what it is about Yahtzee but he doesn't seem to be afraid to turn down wads of EA's cash.
Either that or there isn't a gaming publisher that realizes that his opinion is 100 times more valid than that of 50 other reviewers combined
 

Gralian

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Sep 24, 2008
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I actually think it's refreshing to look at a storyline that DOESN'T involve the end of the world, it's become far too cliché. At the end of the day we're trying to portray real people that deal with real problems, and some of them simply don't involve trying to stop megalomaniacal maniac XVI from trying to take over the world or destroy it. It's an effort to make the storytelling more personal. I loathed the overarching plot in Dragon Age Origins, simply because i couldn't bring myself to care about the Darkspawn or the Dragon-Demon-Thing. All i'd been told is that they like to troll about the place and kill stuff for the lulz. Then i'm taken to a battle i've only just heard about and start killing shit because i was told by an even more arbitrary character than the one that recruited me in the first place, and here's the kicker, they both get killed off within the first hour or less. The darkspawn don't even move out of Lothering, so the whole time i'm stomping around Ferelden trying to gather an army for some sort of last stand, the Darkspawn sit contently in their little Lothering without even bothering to move out or attack anyone. I greatly failed to see any sense of urgency and why i should even care about a blight that barely moved. The mooks and the big bad itself were so horribly generic that it made saving the world a really pointless cliché. I wanted to learn more about this noble house i am apparantly the only surviving member of, i want to learn about my character's life in the mage tower for however many years, about what life is like as a noble dwarf, or how an underground commoner dwarf feels in his first experience outside. I want to know how someone who's been brought up in alienages deals with his first experience outside in a multicultural world and likewise for the reclusive Dalish. Instead, i was another cardboard cutout hero going after another cardboard cutout villain.
 

jmarquiso

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Nov 21, 2009
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poiumty said:
Not as full of bile as i thought it'd be. I'm actually happy there was none of the "BIOWARE HAS BETRAYED ME" rant but then again Yahtzee doesn't do those.

Also, Yahtzee: play stuff like this on a PC. It's 10 times easier to not get your mages killed.
He also hasn't really been a fan in awhile./
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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A Curious Fellow said:
You're limited to a human? Anders is GAY?

wtf. Now I don't want this game. I'll just replay Origins.
Anders is bi actually,so is every other character which you can romance apart from Varric and Aveline.

OT: Good review.
 

dmase

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Mar 12, 2009
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Still the king of gay jokes and masturbation jokes I see. Honestly it seems almost like you're an artist with a dick in your hand and a videogame as your canvas. Bravo.
 

JoeThree

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May 8, 2010
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It's almost funny how if you took this review: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlVeg1wm8Lo and did it to the theme of Yahtzee.... well you'd get the current Zero Punctuation. If anyone wants to check out a bit more factual, less Australian version click the link!
 

geizr

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Oct 9, 2008
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I read about the controversy this game generated over the portrayal of gay relationships. My response to that was "People, grow up and pull your heads from the depths of your colons." Then I read more rational and mature discourse on the design, nature, and merits of the game as a game. My response to that was "Sounds like too many corners were cut, resulting in a game not worth buying, renting, or putting any time toward."

Better luck next time Bioware; maybe avoid taking the quick and dirty route on your next game.
 

Misho-

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May 20, 2010
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Good Rant Yahtzee. I wish I could say I disagree... Wow... Also, it's been years since the BK kids Club... I still remember having them all as action figures...