Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

[EtherealBeaver]

Eh. Still going play this game...just not on the consoles since the PC version is better based on most of the reviews I've seen and heard lately. It was worth it to see Yahtzee's video of the real Duke Nukem Forever for the laughs.

Honestly, dont. Just keep the fond memories of ND3d in the back of your head, prefend that DNF doesnt exist after all and will never be created. Its like a deceased relative. If you see them after they decline and become ill, that will be the image you often remember. If, however, you dont see them after they fall ill, all you will remember are the good times.

I played DNF and I regret it. It's not that it's THAT bad but more that it by no means lives up to the expectations and Duke will never be the same for me.

Again, not bad but just so much less than I expected that it hurts.

 

[Carbo]

Even though I can feel Yahtzee's disappointment with this one, and even though I really like the game simply based off of the "fun factor" and not in actual quality, this was probably one of my more favorite reviews that he's come out with.

I am rather surprised he chose to play the game on a console over a PC though.

I played DNF and I regret it. It's not that it's THAT bad but more that it by no means lives up to the expectations.

I've said time and time again, if anyone is to actually get into this game they need to quell all of their expectations and biases, it doesn't matter if they're positive or negative, because either way you'll end up disappointed, and I still have this one sinking feeling whenever I play DNF that this is the title I waited for so long.

I really like the game, can't recommend it though, you'll have to be the judge of that on your own. There's nothing to get out of it that excels in general quality. It's objectively worse in that than most other modern shooters of the day, but personally I've had way more actual enjoyment and fun with it than other modern shooters of the day.

 

[Hacre]

Did Yahtzee review just the XBox version or the PC version as well? A lot of the technical gripes (load time, frame rate tanking) only affect the really terrible port to the XBox.

While a lot of the disappointments are still in the PC version, on the PC DNF becomes something that is at least fun to play, whereas it's an unstable wavy frame rate hard to aim mess on the XBox and I imagine not much better on the PS3 except for better loading times and frame rate.

 

[GrizzlerBorno]

As much as I love Yahtzee....I absolutely fucking HATE how slow the site becomes at this exact time of the week.

Seriously. I Just....CAN'T load this goddamn video. Oh Balls to it, I'll watch it in the morning!

EDIT: It is not yet morning, but i have watched it anyway and...........That was pretty fucking sad, to see how disappointed Yahtzee was.
As dicky as it might seem, I'm with MovieBob on this one.

 

[Nimcha]

Meh, I was hoping for a more interesting game... everybody and their dog knows what the deal is with this.

Still, funny though.

 

[CyricZ]

It's funny that Yahtzee brings up how Bulletstorm's humor fell flatter than DNF's, because Jim Sterling (another Brit living abroad with a video series on the Escapist, a penchant for cussing, and an iconic bit of accessory) said exactly the opposite: that he liked the humor in Bulletstorm better due to it being so over-the-top and ridiculous.

Just goes to show how incredibly subjective humor can be.

Or that one of them is talking out of their skinny or swollen ass, respectively.

 

[AtmaPhil]

Did Yahtzee review just the XBox version or the PC version as well? A lot of the technical gripes (load time, frame rate tanking) only affect the really terrible port to the XBox.

thats not true. Even on a top end PC it has those issues.

 

[ohHaiGuiz]

Dang it! I was expecting inFAMOUS 2 since he already reviewed DNF...

 

[Macrobstar]

lol @ Yahtzee trying to save face after assuming DNF would never come out

Everyone assumed it would never come out

 

[Jake the Snake]

This wasn't nearly as scathing as I thought it would be. I dare say, Yahtzee, this was more of a lament of disappointment than anything else.

 

[EHKOS]

Cool, but now that the obligatory DNF review is out of the way can you do Alice?

 

[vxicepickxv]

If gearbox went from start to finish in 2 years on another Duke game, it would probably be a lot better.

 

[Morbissus]

I cancelled my pre-order & rented DNF. I couldn't even finish it. (sigh)

 

[Sticky Squid]

I was honestly hoping it would be the same fake review again to be honest, could have been funny to see peoples reactions.

 

[Madd the Sane]

I've never played Duke Nukem. The demo, a long time ago on the Mac, but not the full version.

 

[Carnagath]

Well... I expected Sonic Unleashed levels of bile in this review, but it seems that dear Yahtzee really tried (and wanted) to like it. Too bad that the game feels like the Frankenstein monster of shooters, looks like ass, plays like dogshit and was crippled in critical elements by its own developers making monumentally bad design decisions. I would have preferred a fucking cover mechanic instead of two weapons myself. In the end, I can't even tell what the developers were trying to make, an old-school shooter or a current-gen shooter? They seem to just have borrowed all the shit parts of both worlds. Good fucking job.

 

[beetrain]

Sorry! We could not find www.escapistmagazine.com

Great, now DNF has been released, The Escapist ceased to exist.

Honestly, it's pretty disheartening to hear Yahtzee genuinely, well, disheartened by something.

 

[shadowmagus]

As I pulled up this review today, all I could think was to quote Heath Ledger as the Joker and say "...and here we...go." Not as scathing as I expected but I think it was more because he was so disappointed in how the game turned out.