Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

[Angel Molina]

Who is that guy that appears in almost all of these reviews? (obviously I am not referring to stick Yahtzee I mean the picture used as Dukes cover)

Not too long ago Yahtzee did an IAM on Reddit.com were he answered several questions that various people online would ask him. One of them asked:
"The Thomas Ruff [http://www.guardian.co.uk/pictures/image/0,8543,-11404347243,00.html] photo appears in nearly every episode. Is there a story behind that, or is it just a running gag?"

To which Yahztee answered:
"He just makes me laugh. I've seen Ruff's other expressionless faces and all of them have some hint of emotion, like surprise of a little smile, but Mr. Expressionless has nothing. He's hollow. Dead in the eyes. And that's why I love him."

 

[evilneko]

You know that game that Yahtzee reviewed in his other DNF review? Anyone remember that one?

Yeah it would've been better than Duke Nukem Forever.

Wait, whaddya mean it doesn't exist?!

 

[Harry Mason]

Does he sound... Sad?

I bet that's how he'll sound when he realizes that the HD re-issuing of Silent Hill 2 & 3 is getting re-recorded voice acting. He sounded happy about it in the recent Extra Punctuation, but if they get Nolan North to do the part of James Sunderland, I'm pretty sure both Yahtzee and I will hang ourselves.

I guess I could be down with Jennifer Hale doing Claudia Wolf... That would work...

 

[mattaui]

I think Yahtzee almost sounds sympathetic for DNF, as if he did really want it to be a decent game. As he said, he's been far worse to games that were far better. I guess he was like a lot of people (myself included) who did want DNF to do well and be somewhat worthy of the long wait.

 

[King Toasty]

Does he sound... Sad?

I bet that's how he'll sound when he realizes that the HD re-issuing of Silent Hill 2 & 3 is getting re-recorded voice acting. He sounded happy about it in the recent Extra Punctuation, but if they get Nolan North to do the part of James Sunderland, I'm pretty sure both Yahtzee and I will hang ourselves.

I guess I could be down with Jennifer Hale doing Claudia Wolf... That would work...

Malcolm Reyn- I mean Nathan Fillion would be perfect for that role.

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

Uh.

Wow. Yahtzee didn't really bash it so much as mourn it.

I can't even tell if he enjoyed it or not.

 

[xdiesp]

Most reviewers seemed to be holding a grudge against this game because they believed the hype. **ck hype, it ruins everything or at least makes it worse (as in this flawed case).

 

[LadyRhian]

Who is that guy that appears in almost all of these reviews? (obviously I am not referring to stick Yahtzee I mean the picture used as Dukes cover)

According to Yahtzee himself, the first image result that popped up when he googled "blank expression".

 

[xscoot]

Finally, a reviewer that doesn't hate the game for stupid reasons.

Did the game have problems? Yes. But not a single one of them was from being too immature, or childish or crude. It's Duke Nukem! Complaining that Duke Nukem was offensive is like complaining that the Chinese Restaurant down the street is serving Chinese food. I feel like Yahtzee is the only guy that understands this.

 

[robandall]

Almost a mournful episode this week Yahtzee. It's sad to see a game get bashed so mercilessly that Ben Crowshaw takes pity on it.

 

[BeLGaRaTh67]

Original was good too ...

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/748-Duke-Nukem-Forever

 

[Tontomanzz]

Wow, can't even watch the vid, wonder if it's traffic or something. That's a first for me.

On DNF, there's some LOLs in it. They would have done better if they spent more time on the maps, situations and humor (based on the levels) instead of chasing the leading edge graphics that moved away faster than they could catch up over a decade. If they kept it more like a Serious Sam (not so serious), wouldn't have been delayed and been better.

But it's certainly a nice change to actually DIE during a game. Modern games hold your freaking hand so much you can play it blindfolded while your indestrucible AI partner does all the work (COD).

 

[CopperBoom]

This game is unique in that the ZP critique is the most level-headed of all the reviews I have read.

I have read credible people from "credible" site just shoving their hammy prose down our throats as if this game is a personal attack on them. This meanwhile was so restrained and honest about its feelings.

If a game deserves a "bad review" this is the tone I would want for it.

 

[ascorbius]

I totally feel Yahtzee's pain here.

I downloaded the demo of DNF from Steam last night - I thought, I'll give it a chance.. perhaps all everyone's been moaning about was the disillusionment felt after waiting for so long.
I thought, I'll give it a go.. I'll give it a chance. I also tried to like it.

One hour later, I'd deleted the demo from my PC. (I didn't even play it for that long.. the hour includes getting a large scotch )

The thing that got me the most was that it felt old.. and I don't mean old fashioned, I mean.. Old.. like Old Man Old. Sluggish. Duke was old and it showed. Where was the Duke with lightening reactions, super athlete Duke from the old days? Basically it was badly coded.

My Machine kills Source Engine games. Had Zero problems with Portal 2 (and it was doing a LOT more than this game).. yet somehow DNF felt laggy.. like he was running in treacle. The aiming was a total disaster too.

I got as far as the bit after the 4x4 truck with the pig cops.. I had a railgun and I missed!!!! I never miss with a railgun!!

UNINSTALL - Glad I didn't waste my money on it and believe me, bad reviews aside, I considered buying it to "Grab a piece of gaming history".

I am a very patient person with games. I recently sunk 90 hours into Enchanted Arms being the completionist that I am. I never delete demos after a few minutes.

I can handle the fact that it took 15 years to make.
I can handle tasteless jokes. Even old or crummy graphics.
But when the controls have been hammed up so much that I can't even aim properly, That stinks of poor programming - the "It'll do, Ship it!!!" lazy attitude I joke about in my day job.


Afterwards, I found a version of DN3D which plays in Windows.. had a blast!

 

[proctorninja2]

well the game could have redeemed itself in my eyes if instead of having the jokes come every half hour maybe like every couple of mins it would have been tolerable seriously i played through an entire level without one little joke from duke like what the hell

 

[Jerome9157]

The last joke (the singer one) had me laughing out loud.

 

[McMarbles]

That was... *sniffle* ....beautiful...

 

[sgtshock]

I got a big smile on my face when I saw he was reviewing DNF this week. Like a lot of other people, I'm surprised he went so easy on it. With it's troubled history, scathing reviews from other sites, and how Yahtzee predicted the game would probably be shit in his joke review, I was expecting him to want to tear it apart. (well, he still tore it apart, but he did so regretfully).

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

I love that ending he pulled off there, pretty much summed up DNF as an overall game!