Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

[Tontomanzz]

You play around with the mouse settings? DNF was definately designed with a consoles first mentality. Had to mess around with the settings to get decent control, but it's ok after that.

And yep it is slow, but all modern FPS are slow compared to the old stuff. If you have played the older Quake and Q2 stuff with much faster (and deadlier) rockets (and quad), rocket jumps and hands free grapple todays fare is baby stuff. In that way DNF isn't old school sadily enough, but can understand it as they were catering to the modern gamer.

DNF wasn't worth the full price, but I brougth it anyway just to say thanks for someone actually bringing it out and for a bit of history, same way I was going to see Tron: Legacy no matter what

 

[Awexsome]

Huh. It seems like he pitied the game more than hated it. Which I guess you can't help with the game's history and not only it's badness but just how BAD it really is.

 

[CrawlingPastaHellion]

He didn't bash "DnF" hard enough. After so many years in development they should have produced something decent at the very least. I think nobody would complain if they would have just left the core mechanics intact, essentially creating another "Duke 3D" on a modern level. Instead they just made a grey and boring "MW"/"Halo" knock-off with pig-cops.

But all of us already knew that a more than decade-old escapade such as this is nothing more than a financial fraud to make publishers part with their money whilst doing absolutely nothing to return the investment. "3DRealms" might have been sincere at the beginning, but I would bet an arm and a leg that they had given up on it within three years of initial development.

 

[gphjr14]

Duke should've just stayed in the 90s with the whole macho commando persona that Schwarzenegger and Stallone popularized.

 

[xdiesp]

DNF was definately designed with a consoles first mentality.

DNF was designed when the consoles out there were the PS1 and the N64. ^^'
At best, they just tackled the Halo health\weap. limit to make it less old for consolers.

 

[Alucard788]

Well done Yahtzee! Well done! That was a very fitting poison pen letter to DNF. This is one of the best ones yet!

 

[Joe Casillas]

There really wasn't anything DNF could have done that would have impressed the gaming community, people's expectation were set too high due to the development time. Sad really, DNF is good at what it is but bad at what it should have been. RIP Duke, I shall see you again when I play 3D again like the good ol' days.

 

[PixelKing]

Who is that guy that appears in almost all of these reviews? (obviously I am not referring to stick Yahtzee I mean the picture used as Dukes cover)

Yahtzee himself said he doesn't know who it is, its from a gallery of expressionless faces by a photographer whos name I forgot.
OTidn't rip on it anywhere near what I thought he would.

 

[ProjectTrinity]

You could see nostalgia may have kept him from going all out on Duke (like I wanted him to). Still, I'm glad he wasn't like too many of the Duke fans and let nostalgia excuse absolute tragedies. I knew he wouldn't let me down. =>

 

[strfy]

the main problem with this Yahtzee guy is that he does his review on consoles, A horrible thing to do. sell that POS laptop, and get a pc

 

[Birthe]

I think from all I heard about this game and it also shows very well in this review I can say this:

The saddest thing is really that so many people didn't actually expect it to be that good, many even already thought it would be bad and it was still able to disappoint them. There is not that much worse you can say about a game.

 

[Doom972]

He (and most other reviewers) shouldn't have played the console version. The PC version has better graphics and loading times (at least that's what I understand from reading the Gearbox forums and screenshots).

BTW, anybody remember him saying he'll forgive Duke if he could have more weapons than eyeballs? I understand his disappointment on that matter.

 

[ResonanceSD]

lol @ Yahtzee trying to save face after assuming DNF would never come out

lol @ Yahtzee trying to save face after assuming DNF would never come out

Everyone assumed it would never come out

Did you two even listen to the first part of the video? This EXACT topic is what he opens with.



OT: It's actually a good review of the game, one of the best ZP's so far!

 

[orangeapples]

This is sad. DNF was so bad it went past Yahtzee's anger point and dove into depressing. This was actually a little hard to watch. Yahtzee was prepared for bad, but he still wasn't ready for this.It was like he was physically unable to be mad he was so upset.

it is a really strange feeling.

 

[finc]

So here we are again - it's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice?

I think this game was made by old people who have a fond memory of pc gaming in the 90s and tried to relive their dewy-eyed nostalgic heyday.

"Damn, I'm lookin' old!" - Duke Nukem, yesterday.

 

[Frostbite3789]

Liked the seemingly Teen Girl Squad reference with "ALBATROSS'D!".

Also, about what I was expecting.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

This felt...tragic. I think that's the way it was supposed to feel. Yahtzee could probably have had a hell of a time with a game that was just plain mediocre, but as it stands, Duke Nukem Forever feels like Rocky IV...if Rocky IV had ended with Rocky being beaten to death by Ivan Drago thirty seconds into the fight after having spent years training to avenge Apollo Creed.

 

[tehweave]

"I expected it to dissapoint, just not this much."

You and everyone else. Am I the ONLY person who knew this was going to suck ass? Moreso than what most people anticipated?

 

[Beryl77]

After playing it I agree with Yahtzee and the game is pretty much what I expected. Ten years ago it could have been great but after such a long time, it's just disappointing and sad. It will probably sell quite good I guess but the only reason is of course it's history and legend.

 

[Herbsk]

Indeed - Twas very sad to watch Yatzee in such a state - and may I add that I still bought the game on release day (found it at a good discount through Green Man Gaming!) but I have yet to play it because other things just seem like more fun to play....

Meh - I'll get to it eventually.