Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

[ikalugin]

well.

My personal story of eve.
I agree that corps could be both. But it is your choice which one to join. I have joined The sacred Inquisition after the trial. I was going to quit eve but before that i thought to checked out the corps and aliences. Well. Corp gives you support in money/ships/expperienced help. More experienced people inform u that to right click and target is stupid u should use overview. Corp gives u gang leader - he coordinates gang, gives targets and ensures u survive. Make safe spots. Learn T2 ships and be a roming dick on a falcon and piss of other people who u at war with. Also we went to 00 security systems. This means there were no police npcs to ruine the fun. We had a small pos war (this was npc space) with gang of 100(this is small) kiking ech others shins with loads of tactics. Also we were kiking our opositions ase by nano gangs. This tupe is quick and is a pain in arse becouse it is hard to catch uss and with uss u could get pve... Now our corp is joining RA. So there would be even more fun becouse we would be able to collect even bigger roaming fleets.
PVP. Main fun gangs.
NANO
quick roaming funn. You could hit and run and watch enemies geting pissed of becouse they could do nothing. This is possible becouse of coordination and good work of u electronics ships ( they prevent enemy from shootig u too hard etc)
RARG
You have got fat battle ships healiing each other and othewise it is roaming.
PIRACY
Well... Fun Fun Fun.
This is a way of getting money.
Apparently sometimes ago it was possible to find ships in Jita with 1 kkk+ credits of cargo... Tasty. From my experience they are dicks (no offence but it is not just me)they have killed my ship 3 times in one day... aseholes. But if u want - its u choice. Remember there are anti pirate corps...

 

[TL]

EVE is a very dangerous game.

If you play it right, it can build your character, entertain you, and help you do better in the real world. Read some New York Times articles about EvE or other analysis about the game if you are in doubt.

However, play the game wrong and it will be a frustrating cliff of annoyance that you will never be able to surmount effectively, doing nothing more than draining your life and becoming a boring second job. (see: learning curve picture that was posted here somewhere)

There have been times in EvE where if I had done something wrong, my alliance and I would have been set back months, perhaps even annihilated. Overcoming something like that successfully is definitely more rewarding than those seven consecutive headshots in counter-strike I got in de_dust2 last night... (stacked teams too btw).

Of course, had said alliance been destroyed, it would have hurt more than losing your entire party in WoW because some idiot overaggroed, obviously. So, as mentioned before, EvE's definitely a dangerous game, but in my opinion, well worth it.

Oh and Yahtzee's review was still hilarious, if not shallow.

And yes I did make an account just to post this, I feel so trolled.

 

[ikalugin]

I agree with u tl.
By the way what allience u r from? Just curious...
In eve the main thing is not reaction time - it is inteligence. U need to understand if u dont protect yourself no mr.nice guy would. if u r not in corp of coarse))) and... Having poses named after u becouse of your contribution to the corp IS satisfaing as to bring last blow to enemy cap ship siting on the one with nearly no dps...

 

[Stuligin]

interesting to note: whats worse, playing a mmorpg, or being a sarcastic fool who thinks his opinions matter.

obviously, thinking that a sarcastic wit will get his the dollers, he extolls the non-virtues of EVE, yet in my minds eye all I see is that he follows the herd, just another mindless cow of the human race.

EVE, like the ancient first incarceration of UO, was a sandbox game: ie you have to make your own fun.

or to put it another way, soemone throws you out into the universe and says " here ya go, make something of yourself, or fail.

you sir, fail

Having played online mmorpg's from probably before you were born, I might have a notion or two, most notably, the quote: " to each, his own"

play a game easy as wow, youll end up even more of a cow, heck, I played it a few years, real hard that game was, 8 months, from level 1 to full T6 epic. idiotic drama, no challenge, no real rewards, no death penalty.

Now thats boring.

in the end, I think a real review would have touched on more than the pedantic crowd pleasing BS you spouted, but hey, that me, I'm just a wealthy successful happily married guy in his 40's that likes gaming. /shrug

 

[TaboriHK]

Yes, defend your taste with ad hominem insults. That's much better than "being a sarcastic fool who thinks his opinions matter."

Sidenote, only a mindless cow DOESN'T think his own opinions matter.

 

[AngryMan]

Valid points as ever, but the one thing I've noticed about all (both) of Yahtzee's Mumorpuger reviews thus far is that he misses a crucial element: the Multiplayer.

MMORPGs are Multiplayer games by definition and design, and even the best of them (for the record, I'm a pretty huge EVE fan, so of course it's going to fall into that category as far as I'm concerned) primarily hinges on doing things with other people. Going it alone typically means that you're denying yourself access to massive part of the game's appeal.

IIRC, there was a bit in the Mass Effect review where Yahtzee said that maybe he'd missed the side quest that made the game fun. Well, he did it again in EVE - join a player corp.

I can appreciate anyone being wary of spending their time with People On The Internet, but the thing to be remembered is that you too are a Person On The Internet, which means that logically there is at least one POTI who, in your opinion is not an unbearable retard with the social skills of a wet fart: Dear reader, that person is (in your opinion, of course) you.

If there is at least one nice, intelligent, witty person on the internet, then surely there must be a few more. These people, in my experience, tend to huddle together for mutual protection. All you need to do is find these refugee clusters of intelligent beings awash in a sea of madness.

So if you ask me, this isn't an accurate review of EVE Online. An accurate review would HAVE to include joining a player organization, because that's where pretty much all of the fun is. Machiavellian scheming, empire-building, ruthless market trading, corporate espionage... it's all there, and those are the things that make the game fun for most of us to play it. Refusing to join player corps out of sheer prejudice is a bit like playing throught the Half-Life hazard course fifty times then using that experience to judge the whole Hal-Life series- you're getting an incomplete picture.

 

[TaboriHK]

I will say this about my very very short encounter with EVE: the user interface is possibly the least friendly thing I've ever seen. Sure, once you know its arcane ways I'm sure you can bend it to your will and using it becomes second nature. But as a new player, I was overloaded with shit to look at. The text box has people jabbering CONSTANTLY in multiple channels, so that whole 'jump in and be a member of something' is not as accessible as you all make it seem. You're saying it's like showing up somewhere and just getting right to work, but it's more like being in an incredibly busy market place with everyone yelling about something and there's a bunch of shit in your eyes.

Seriously, I quit playing the game after about an hour. I just had it; I wasn't having fun, I didn't feel like ANY part of it was intuitive....it was the definition of an impenetrable RPG, the kind that comes with a hardcover instruction booklet that fans can quote from. I consider myself a fairly smart person but this has way more to do with patience than intellect, at least initially. The point as always is this: it may very well be a fun game, but it's like being given a big paycheck that is encased in a boulder of goo. I'm not sure it's worth the effort to work for the reward.

 

[Stuligin]

good one, bet you had to think on that a bit before posting, /sarcasm

point is, a reviewing mmorpg's is hard buisness.

appealing to everyones tases is impossible, but to be a "reviewer" that is anti-games establishment is like hiring a total idiot to run your country, ohh wait, guess thats been done as well( salute to Bush )

the reviews are funny, witty and whatnot, but thats it, no real content, no real review.

 

[TaboriHK]

Okay, I feel like I've become this thread's troll, but what the hell, I'm not busy nor am I actually flaming anyone.

Yahtzee takes the stance of the everyman gamer in this case. Not the "I write down upcoming game events in a calendar" hardcore MMORPG gamer. His contention from what I understand is that all good games offer more or less the same level of gratification from accomplishment and play experience, but MMORPGs make you work much harder, too hard for them. It plays into a certain type of mindset which he doesn't possess. The problem here is that he's also a comedic writer and every review Yahtzee does is just as much a roast as it is a review, sometimes more so, and the MMORPG crowd doesn't get the joke. This review is not for you. Just as stated in the MGS4 review, if you are a fan, chances are you are already ingrained into the culture of the game and don't get a word of what he's saying. He's Joe Gamer and he's saying this game is incredibly new-user unfriendly but in a scathing comedic way. And instead of understanding that (as the fanboys of every game that he reviews) you defenders seem to miss that completely and must come to the defense of something that he honestly is probably not going to think twice about.

TL;DR - He is not an MMORPG gamer, and he writes from that perspective. He's making fun of you for the sake of comedy, laugh and get over it.

 

[tcl987]

You did two things wrong. You didn't join a corp like everyone else does and you didn't try PVP.

 

[ikalugin]

The problem is the combat in eve isnt ckicing enemies to death and dodging fire... It is tactics. Thats where people have problems. It is not just a tool of cleaning your brain - like a comics book it like the long and good book like WAR AND PEACE or other clasical/well made literature (sorry anybody who likes good literature). You must be dedicated in the begining but the reward in the end would be grater.

 

[ikalugin]

But i agree it isnt new user friendly... But. If u read online manuals made by fans (not sure about english version) IT MAKES IT EASY. Also your corp mates would show u the arcane ways around the interface. And. It did take me 10 min first time to find out how to undock from station so... i feel your pain. But the first effort would be greatly rewarded afterwards - eve is the game for life, not 2 years.

 

[Sephitar13]

Why is it that EVERY SINGLE mmorpg claims to be "making something new" even though i havent seen one yet that hasnt been a wow clone with diffrent colors?

 

[ikalugin]

Have u played EVERY SINGLE MMO FROM END TO BEGINING?
And why wow?
There were mmos before that. And wow was coping them. And this is like asking a question why all strategy games have multiple units to command and taktics to employ? Or Why do you have to shhot people in FPS ses. In all MMORPG s u would find quests, scills ect. So all mmos woul be similar in some ways becouse they are mmos. The difference, as i have said that EVE tends to have more long term thought in it. SO IT IS DIFFERENT FROM WOW IN IT. Also contract system is there and i find it usefull. I dont think u could find something like that in wow. Also EVE, as somebody said, is a SANDBOX GAME. There would be no fun for u if u dont provide it. Becouse fun is in pvp not pve (like what i have experienced in wow). The problem is that first month or so a player experiences pve only (which is wow grinding) and then gets to tasty pvp and allience warfare. It is a bit similar to warhammer but u get not only npcc factions but u own. Lets say u, by good play have made corp a. Then u have to capture area from corp B. U need to get mining ect going.


So eve goes this way
1Cruying over interface and grinding(wow)
2Joining corp and pvp (interface problem solved)
3Becom9ng fleet commander/corp director (more pvp start of tactical rts)\
4Making corp/allience (rts)
5becoming ausom allience and beating crap out of oposition(rise of RED ALLIENCE, its union with GOON SWARM and RA vs BOB 2 year war with atleast 10000 pvp players a side)

 

[TaboriHK]

You don't get it. You can't argue about the impenetrability of a game when you need user guides written by players to understand what you're seeing. I bought this game because I wanted to indulge in a little Fireflyesque fantasy gaming and they do such a magnificent job of explaining things that I spent probably two hours chasing my tail trying to grasp the fucking encyclopedia they throw at you.

It's completely fine if you love this game. I certainly love games that are generally reviled. But don't begrudge the reviewer pointing out the obviously flaws.

 

[ikalugin]

Well. I dont say the flaws shown do not exist. They do. But there is more to the game that is shown. Its is like to drop spore before finishing the cell stage. So review is not complete. I agree that the reviewer most likely isnt going to play it for a month. But if he did he would show 30% of the game not 2.

 

[Tmcmistress]

Yahtzee was right on with this review. EVE is about the most god-awful, boring piece of crap I've ever had the displeasure to play.

Also, I hate with a fiery passion the notion that I "HAVE TO JOIN A PLAYER CORP" to enjoy the game. It's the same thing with WoW. I play video games BECAUSE I'm a social misanthrope, or to be more precise, I shouldn't HAVE to join a player corp to get something resembling a full experience out of the game. Could someone please explain to me why I should give Blizzard, CCP, or any other company $15 a month for the privilege of playing an incomplete product?

I mean, I understand that there needs to be larger encounters for those who do enjoy playing in groups. But there should be some suitably epic bits of storyline for those of us who prefer the solo experience. I, for one, have no desire to get bitched out by a 15 year old from the other side of the country because I wasn't in the exact right spot, at the exact right time, doing the exact right thing.

 

[Tmcmistress]

He's Joe Gamer and he's saying this game is incredibly new-user unfriendly

This beast is all-user unfriendly. The rigamarole necessary to complete even the simplest of fetch quests is ridiculous.

Oh, and before I'm misunderstood due to my last post, I understand the appeal of an MMO. Having other people to talk to is fun. AND, if I had 18-19 hours a day to devote to practicing, and perfecting the game, and its strategies, and to participate in flow chart sessions regarding the latest boss, and had been able to be on at very specific times, I'm sure I would have had more fun with the corp / clan aspect. But c'est la vie.

 

[ikalugin]

well it doesnt go to flow charts. Just common sense really - lets say if you have a ship it is norma;y fited with stuff it has bonuses for and not completely random and useless equipment. If u want to be a pro u might go to flow charts but normaly u dont (i use only a shipfitting and character training progs, no flow charts, and i use them becouse i have no life)

 

[ikalugin]

well it doesnt go to flow charts. Just common sense really - lets say if you have a ship it is norma;y fited with stuff it has bonuses for and not completely random and useless equipment. If u want to be a pro u might go to flow charts but normaly u dont (i use only a shipfitting and character training progs, no flow charts, and i use them becouse i have no life)