Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[Video Gone]

Never played a FF game in my life, but that was as predictable as they come. Even before seeing the same point re-iterated for the fifth time with different wording.

If Jim Sterling got flak for only playing up until the last boss fight, I wonder how much flak Yahtzee will get

It's Yahtzee, people will tell him he's a unique genius and boycott the game.

People seem to be overly obsessed now, not with delivering enough praising comments that, if printed and stacked, would let Yahtzee climb into space, but with being bitter about how much praise he gets.
It's the old 'fashionable "criticism"' thing rearing its ugly head again. Halo, Yahtzee's fans, Gears of War, World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons, reading comics (Knightfall is absolutely amazing by the way. Just finished reading Batman 500 and realised what I've been missing all these years. Battlepope ftw also.), anything that is either popular or regularly associated with geekery is always dumped on by two different groups. First you have the people who often only sign up to gaming forums so they can ***** about popular games, then there's the assholes who only sign up to forums so they can troll around the place throwing about clichés which are nowhere near as pathetic as they are made to seem regularly, for a few examples: Dungeons and Dragons is actually very fun if you get into it, some people don't like it, that's fine. Halo has not just excellent multiplayer, but a great campaign as well, World of Warcraft is played by everyone and their mum, and if you have not read at least one issue of Batman in your life, you must do it. NOW. Seriously, I'll wait.
Anyway, Yahtzee may have his share of mindless zombie clones, but there's no point criticising him for that. It's OK to praise something, just as long as you don't go overboard.

Well, that commented on that. I guess I was aided by the fact that I'm wearing this:

Oh yeeeeeeah.

 

[sepher2010]

Well... can't say I was surprised. And after hearing what I have about this game and having my concerns that they focused too much on flash and flair rather than the story telling confirmed, (which was what grabbed me by the balls on this series anyways), I'm glad I haven't picked this up yet. *sigh*

 

[Aiberg]

Who is surprised that Yahtzee totally destroyed this game? There was no way a FF game with its awkward structures to make into Yahtzee's book, I'd say.

 

[jackelbeaver]

Okay yeah final fantasy and all that but judging an RPG of all things on the first five hours, as ridiculous as this sounds, is ridiculous. If that were the norm then everyone would assume that Mass effect is nothing but a horribly large space station that is comprised entirely of elevator rides and people who hate guys named Fist and Banes.

RPG's if anything really are something you have to "really try to get far in" before they open up and potentially become good, unfortunately. They're the one genre that actually CAN start out bad and get good later because that's how it almost ALWAYS IS.


Edit: Also I doubt Yahtzee is going to bother taking any user feedback from TWENTY PAGES into a topic....I know I wouldn't.

 

[carpathic]

"Like the bourne identity projected on a fat jogger's tits."

BRILLIANT!

Not sure how else to continue wtih this..I hate JRPG's and it was nice to see one savaged so thoroughly. But that is really just petty.

 

[Bosola]

I love the way the diehards pull the old 'NO I R RAEGIN NOT COS IM A FANBOI BUT COS OF AESTHETICS HONEST AND THIS IS JUST A BAD EPISODE honest AND THE FACT THE FIRST TIME I'VE SAID THIS IS WHEN WATCHING YAHTZEE OBLITERATE MY OWN PERSONAL FAVE IS A COMPLEET COINCIDENCE AND NOT RELATED HONEST!!!1!!!1'.

Reminds me of the old SSBB 'controversy'.

 

[Seneschal]

Wow, 25 pages. I think this is a record for ZP videos. Even the 30-second "I'm on holiday" video had less. Interesting how Yahtzee gets the most attention when he's doing the least work.

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games? (Yahtzee doesn't count, he just happens to rip on a lot of games although he reviews AAA titles)

I guess the upcoming Game Damage show might do something like that, but other than that?

 

[Orekoya]

I'm tired of people saying that Final Fantasy stop being good around VI.

If that's true then the Final Fantasy series would have been died by now, but its hasno't. That's because the new Final Fantasy games are good.

I love XIII, XII, X, IX, VIII and VII.

I think this game is amazing, and Yahthzee should have played more of the game.

I'm tired of those who cannot properly express their opinions that they treat as unbiased fact.

 

[Cheesebob]

Great review, I love it when he rips the anus out of 'good' games, even if they are ones I like

 

[nutgear]

gets good 10 hours in LOL!!!

 

[yanipheonu]

All I know is that apparently there are a lot of effing trolls in The Escapist community.

 

[Bokra]

Bought it, played it, wasn't impressed. In this day and age in video gaming it is laughable to me to release a title that is so linear. I know, later it gets better but I'm still not impressed. If you can choke through the first 20 hours of the game, there's a mediocre experience to be had. The only npc that I had any real desire to fight was titan and (SPOILER ALERT) you can't. The weapon system was a joke too. The only good thing I got out of this game was that the combat system reminded me of Xenogears and made me start to play through that again.

 

[Distorted Stu]

Im gonna have to agree, i stopped playing it 30hours in... its not that enjoyable as i hoped. Im only playign to see how the fucker ends.

 

[Soxafloppin]

ZP's are much more enjoyable when you dont like the game hes reviewing.

Good episode.

 

[Lord_Seth]

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games?

Does the Angry Video Game Nerd count?

 

[Seneschal]

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games?

Does the Angry Video Game Nerd count?

Oh, right. Haven't thought of him. Though, he's much too retro; looking at someone raging over a bad 30-years-old game played from an audio cassette just makes them look like they care too much.

 

[Mr.Mudkip]

I like the review, but I'm also surprised it made me want to play the game, but in the same way people (including me) watch bad movies for fun. Are people doing that with games? I mean, is there like a Nostalgia Critic for bad games?

Does the Angry Video Game Nerd count?

Oh, right. Haven't thought of him. Though, he's much too retro; looking at someone raging over a bad 30-years-old game played from an audio cassette just makes them look like they care too much.

Have you ever heard of the SpoonyOne then? He reviews newer games!

 

[BryanS7]

Thank you.

 

[Justin Harris]

You know, it's easier to assume anything Square Enix makes is crap rather than play the filth they produce. Just because it's titled Final Fantasy doesn't really mean it is part of the series. It's more of an indicator that it's the last fantasy game of theirs you'll ever desire to play.