Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto Online

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Bat Vader

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Mar 11, 2009
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Whenever I play GTAO I either play it with friends in a friends only session or when I am playing by myself I start a closed session.
 

StatusNil

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Oct 5, 2014
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I liked it because it bravely took on the Legions of Hell. AKA "Other People". Those always mess up games.
 

Roofstone

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May 13, 2010
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TKretts3 said:
The new feature in the PC version is that if you press 'B' you can point to things!!!
Nah man, ps4 and xbone had that too.

PCs new feature is the video editor.
 

King_Julian

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Jun 10, 2009
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His points are valid, however i still enjoy playing it. It is better with friends but the biggest setback in the game is all the damn loading time.

I cannot wait for the casino update to drop though, i will gamble every cent in there as long as they let me. i really hope they have poker in it though, that would be amazing.
 
Mar 19, 2010
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Tohuvabohu said:
gphjr14 said:
I bought this on midnight release and I'm just now playing heist with friends.
If you're playing with random people you'll probably spend most of your time frustrated.

My main gripe is you only have 1 fucking and I have no idea who thought this would be a good idea. There's really no reason they couldn't make it so everyone has to die at least once for the heist to fail.
I absolutely refuse to play GTA Online with randoms. Every single time I play, it's in closed friend sessions with friends only. And in those conditions, it's quite a blast. Doing heists and cooperative missions with people you can communicate effectively with and play efficiently with is the only way I'd choose to play this.

I do agree that incredibly annoying having only 1 life in those heists. Sure it's doable, but I think the game would have benefited a lot from a revive mechanic in cooperative situations, since a lot of the times the game pairs you up with someone else.

Yahtzee is right in general. If you go into the online mode by yourself with randoms, it's like diving head first into an ocean of piss.
Well it sucks if you have noone to play with and all people you know roll eyes when you tell them that you play GTA and roll them even harder when you tell them you paid 60 ? for the thing.
 

Nicho223

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Jul 19, 2014
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This summer.....comes the action movie of the Century. In a virtual world....where twats rule the online servers....One man...makes a stand.!!!!!
The Fumigator.
Watch as he puts the twats right where they belong. In a action-drama so emotionally powerful, it may just save the WOOOORRLLD!!!!!!

Starring: Ron Perlman as.. The Fumigator, Michael Fassbender as..The Bender, Sigourney Weaver as..The Boot and Justin Bieber as..The Twat Queen.!!!
In theaters November the 13th, in 3-D!!!!!!
 

Sleepy Sol

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Feb 15, 2011
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I remember my first heist when a setup mission was basically finished, our pilot was flying to their destination, and the other three people (includes me) were just hanging around since we were done. I thought it would be funny to screw around a bit and get hit by a very slow-moving tractor since I love this game's ragdoll physics. Unfortunately, I fell under the tractor's tire and my health vanished immediately and caused a mission failure.

...Everyone was unsurprisingly pissed at me. But we all look back on it and laugh. Pretty funny in hindsight.

Just make sure you play with friends and save yourself the headache of constant death and shitty chat.
 

gridsleep

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Sep 27, 2008
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EndlessSporadic said:
It's rare to see Yahtzee get so mad. I like it.
Rare? Really? I thought he was always like that. Which is why he runs a gin joint. So he can drink it to sleep.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
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Thanks to rockstar and their incompetent coders, multiplayer is not a different game and its coded so badly people are already making their own alternatives. rockstar is being a dick about it, so we will just mod out their servers and substitute our own.



scw55 said:
The question we all need to ask is, why?

We play games to unwind/think/creativity/change of activity.
Why do we care that we're slightly better at the game than another person? Why do anyone else care? This has little worth.
because videogames, from the very beginning, is a competition. videogames in their essence are challenges that players have to covercome. this leads to competing in how you overcome challenges. the best way to deduct how good is your oponent at competing without getting to know him is stats. therefore people care about stats.

i also find your question about why do people want to compete quite laughable. we do this in literally any venue of our lives. thats what got humans to win over in the species race.
 

Chareater

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Aug 12, 2010
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I have said it once and i'll say it again

Play online games with friends ONLY playing with randoms is never NEVER fun.

Heists are so much fun with my friends on TS but are like pulling teeth with randoms
 

scw55

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Nov 18, 2009
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Strazdas said:
i also find your question about why do people want to compete quite laughable. we do this in literally any venue of our lives. thats what got humans to win over in the species race.
Humans are the only species that care about it.
Species compete out of instinct. We choose to compete on the other hand.
 

Wolf Hagen

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Jul 28, 2010
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Honestly? I like his view on things, but I am used to MUCH more frustrating online games then GTA Online (random).

With Friends it is a blast, without.... NOPE
 

StreamerDarkly

Disciple of Trevor Philips
Jan 15, 2015
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Let's see if I understand correctly - Yahtzee quits out at the start of the race, yet it's the other player who's an asshole. Leaderboards are to blame.
 

geldonyetich

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Aug 2, 2006
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Wow, an Old Man Murray reference. Pity only me, Yahtzee, and three other guys got that one.

That said, very inspired rant about GTA V Online here, I rather enjoyed the discussion about the Hell that is other people and the ill-conceived activities that mismanaged it.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
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scw55 said:
Strazdas said:
i also find your question about why do people want to compete quite laughable. we do this in literally any venue of our lives. thats what got humans to win over in the species race.
Humans are the only species that care about it.
Species compete out of instinct. We choose to compete on the other hand.
No we dont. Competition in humans is as much an instinct as in any other species.

Its why capitalism is so effective - it essentially turns entire society into a massive competition.
 

4Aces

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May 29, 2012
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I enjoyed watching the cheaters destroying the servers by spawning a few UFOs (only takes three for some reason), and getting people banned by dropping loot on them. Well done Rockstar, well done. Random acts of kindness* will not be tolerated!

*OK so it was not actually kindness motivating the d-bags sabotaging the system (spawning loot), but to punishing non-hackers due to your broken system of auto-pickups instead of making it a keyed event after a spawn command, is rude.
 

mrdude2010

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Aug 6, 2009
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Reminds me of all those dipshits who had memorized when to best use star power and would host Guitar Hero matches on Normal difficulty with only one song because you both would be getting ~100% of the notes, just they already knew how to maximize their points, because they were trying to get an achievement or something.
 

Benpasko

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Jul 3, 2011
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mrdude2010 said:
Reminds me of all those dipshits who had memorized when to best use star power and would host Guitar Hero matches on Normal difficulty with only one song because you both would be getting ~100% of the notes, just they already knew how to maximize their points, because they were trying to get an achievement or something.
If you scroll up, you'll see that you already posted that a year ago :p