Zero Punctuation: Halo: Reach
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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Okay, I will truly out myself. I am a Halo Fan. I enjoy just about every part of the Halo Series and as I write this, my twin black cats are chewing on my Noble Team Statue. (Down Dammit!) Stupid cats.... But I digress. I had quite a few problems with the plot though.
Halo opened up a new genre of the FPS, it introduced us to new graphics and an actual story behind why we are killing things that don't look like us.... Hmmmmm Bungie? It introduced us to the Plasma pistol and the almighty pistol. Hooray. When we were back then, the graphics were amazing, we look back now and we think, wow, the Gamecube still can't reach those graphics. Fail
Halo2 began as hmmm, Master Chief who was floating in space in a crappy non-Slipspace fighter, somehow makes it back to Earth, along with the every present Sgt. Johnson. After many one-liners and chuckles from the tough-as-nails-Marine. I wondered, How the hell did they make it back to Earth? I then shook my head and jumped into the gameplay. Golly! Master Chief through all his training, learned how to pick up.....TWO weapons at the same time! WOW. IT just blew my mind. The Graphics improved slightly now becoming slightly more detailed,(Look at the knee pads) and the weapons traded in the Assault Rifle for the Triple delight of the Battle Rifle. We don't mention the pistol....
Halo 3, ummmm. Ending. Weak. Many things got an overhaul including the introduction of Forge Mode which allowed players to build their own crap. The Dual wielding was quickly abstained by the overpowering greatness that was the Battle Rifle. The Assault rifle made another appearance, but it was only seen as a Noob weapon. Example: You are 900 meters away with a Battle Rifle, a player spawns and starts firing at you with an Assault Rifle. Does it do damage, Yes, will it kill you? If you don't suck, it wont.
Halo Wars was seen by many in the Halo community as a fail, but they failed to notice several of the advantages of taking on the Covenant from a more strategic point of view. Yes, all of us wanted to recreate Patton and throw multiple canister shells into an attacking Scarab. Halo wars introduced us to the beautiful Grizzly tank, the elegant and cheaply made Sparrowhawk, and the luxury of calling down ODSTs when necessary. The game was good, until Boosters came in and as usual decided to screw the game for the legit players.
Halo ODST, was the worst game that I have spent money on to own. I regret having the game disc among my collection of Halo games. It had good graphics through, but I was irritated to quest around a darkened city living through multiple ODSTs in order to discover the final battle. God Rookie say something! I disagree with the person above, Romeo was a great character, he actually showed character through the terrible writing of the game. Not having shields and only "Stamina" and the fastest I could move was a shuffle step, *Sigh* I don't like to talk about it. Firefight was a joke because it was only available through inviting friends. I enjoy how they suckered clients back to ODST with Halo Waypoint and the promise of being on Halo Reach's Beta.
Danger SPOILER!
The Books/ The story, seriously, what the hell. You tell us that there were orbital platforms and what not on Reach, but somehow, a damn Corvette/Frigade/Supercarrier somehow makes its way onto the surface and starts crapping out troops. Hmmm. Okay, there was no mention of the Admiral Whitecomb or defending the generators. Hell, WTF happened to the Spartan II's that were supposed to be on the surface? Well, hell, I guess the story of Fred and Kelly was just Whatever..... I was under the impression that all the Spartan III's were on Onyx or were already deployed and were dead. Also, seriously what happened to JUN? That Sniper just up and jetted. He never died, he just disappeared with Dr. Halsey.
Halo opened up a new genre of the FPS, it introduced us to new graphics and an actual story behind why we are killing things that don't look like us.... Hmmmmm Bungie? It introduced us to the Plasma pistol and the almighty pistol. Hooray. When we were back then, the graphics were amazing, we look back now and we think, wow, the Gamecube still can't reach those graphics. Fail
Halo2 began as hmmm, Master Chief who was floating in space in a crappy non-Slipspace fighter, somehow makes it back to Earth, along with the every present Sgt. Johnson. After many one-liners and chuckles from the tough-as-nails-Marine. I wondered, How the hell did they make it back to Earth? I then shook my head and jumped into the gameplay. Golly! Master Chief through all his training, learned how to pick up.....TWO weapons at the same time! WOW. IT just blew my mind. The Graphics improved slightly now becoming slightly more detailed,(Look at the knee pads) and the weapons traded in the Assault Rifle for the Triple delight of the Battle Rifle. We don't mention the pistol....
Halo 3, ummmm. Ending. Weak. Many things got an overhaul including the introduction of Forge Mode which allowed players to build their own crap. The Dual wielding was quickly abstained by the overpowering greatness that was the Battle Rifle. The Assault rifle made another appearance, but it was only seen as a Noob weapon. Example: You are 900 meters away with a Battle Rifle, a player spawns and starts firing at you with an Assault Rifle. Does it do damage, Yes, will it kill you? If you don't suck, it wont.
Halo Wars was seen by many in the Halo community as a fail, but they failed to notice several of the advantages of taking on the Covenant from a more strategic point of view. Yes, all of us wanted to recreate Patton and throw multiple canister shells into an attacking Scarab. Halo wars introduced us to the beautiful Grizzly tank, the elegant and cheaply made Sparrowhawk, and the luxury of calling down ODSTs when necessary. The game was good, until Boosters came in and as usual decided to screw the game for the legit players.
Halo ODST, was the worst game that I have spent money on to own. I regret having the game disc among my collection of Halo games. It had good graphics through, but I was irritated to quest around a darkened city living through multiple ODSTs in order to discover the final battle. God Rookie say something! I disagree with the person above, Romeo was a great character, he actually showed character through the terrible writing of the game. Not having shields and only "Stamina" and the fastest I could move was a shuffle step, *Sigh* I don't like to talk about it. Firefight was a joke because it was only available through inviting friends. I enjoy how they suckered clients back to ODST with Halo Waypoint and the promise of being on Halo Reach's Beta.
Danger SPOILER!
The Books/ The story, seriously, what the hell. You tell us that there were orbital platforms and what not on Reach, but somehow, a damn Corvette/Frigade/Supercarrier somehow makes its way onto the surface and starts crapping out troops. Hmmm. Okay, there was no mention of the Admiral Whitecomb or defending the generators. Hell, WTF happened to the Spartan II's that were supposed to be on the surface? Well, hell, I guess the story of Fred and Kelly was just Whatever..... I was under the impression that all the Spartan III's were on Onyx or were already deployed and were dead. Also, seriously what happened to JUN? That Sniper just up and jetted. He never died, he just disappeared with Dr. Halsey.
Classic.. Half Life 2, a classic? Hahaha. Cool story bro.
The gameplay was changed up quite a lot this time (Reach)around, but you have to play on the higher difficulties to enable the improved AI. On legendary, up to 4 jackals will form a phalanx with their shields if you don't pick them off quickly when they're together, and hunters will fight back to back in order to protect the exposed Lekgolo (orange worms) if you assail them in legendary co-op!
Also, an amendment to one of Yahtzee's criticisms; the elites charging when you're reloading without your allies nearby- when they think they stand a reasonable chance of cutting your nipples off- is a vast improvement on the old state of affairs. This is something about Reach which brings the bar up- it's not a fault of any kind.
Entertaining critique, but a *bit* Valve fanboyish even for you. (A Valve fanboy cannot objectively review a Bungie game. Real true fact.)
The gameplay was changed up quite a lot this time (Reach)around, but you have to play on the higher difficulties to enable the improved AI. On legendary, up to 4 jackals will form a phalanx with their shields if you don't pick them off quickly when they're together, and hunters will fight back to back in order to protect the exposed Lekgolo (orange worms) if you assail them in legendary co-op!
Also, an amendment to one of Yahtzee's criticisms; the elites charging when you're reloading without your allies nearby- when they think they stand a reasonable chance of cutting your nipples off- is a vast improvement on the old state of affairs. This is something about Reach which brings the bar up- it's not a fault of any kind.
Entertaining critique, but a *bit* Valve fanboyish even for you. (A Valve fanboy cannot objectively review a Bungie game. Real true fact.)
You can solo in MMO's but that is against the gameplay idea of a MMO. If I buy a game with only multi-player mode that is what I paid for, if I buy a game that only has single-player mode that is what I paid for. If I buy a game that contain both game-types I assume both of them being equal in quality. If I buy a bucket of grapes and half of them are spoiled of course I am going to be disappointed, and saying "At least half grapes are good" is not going to fix it. I paid for full bucket.ProfessorLayton said:
of course a game should be able to stand up on single player. not everyone wants to play online with 12 yr old kids with quicker reflexes than a cat, sometimes people just want to unwind and be able to zone out and have their own experience where they dont have to worry about other online idiots...ProfessorLayton said:
OT: im suprised yahtzee had the balls to actually admit some good points of this game instead of senselessly bashing it the whole way through.
I was expecting everything in that review except that he didn't talk about how the colors aren't restricted to grey, brown, and vomit green.
Funny, at least.
Funny, at least.
Since when has Yahtzee ever been fair?Evilbunny said:
There's four things a game needs to be good in his book.
1. variety, game play needs to change up in various intervals or it just won't do no matter how good the mechanic might be.
2. story, if the gameplay sucks a good story will still make up for it.
3. silliness, if the game play sucks, story sucks, it's still fine! Just give him the chance to put on silly outfits and run around doing silly things and it'll still pass.
3. if the game is mostly MP, then it better have been made by valve....hence why we've never heard him complain about TF2 or L4D like he has for other MP games.
I was surprised as well. 0oninonybox360 said:
I LOVE REACH, I got the LEGENDARY edition, but I'm not blind to it's faults.
If he'd reviewed some of the multiplayer, I think he'd have enjoyed it less, since the spawn's are currently, well, broken.
Curious if he ever went into the armory. o0
Still, love REACH myself, surprised that Yahtzee didn't rip it's ass a new hole.
You know why I go to gaming sites? It's to gain support for my pre-determined opinions, and to think of incredibly douchey nicknames for people who like things I don't. I quote directly from the video the people reading the thread has just watched, adding to the ever-important white noise.