Zero Punctuation: Halo: Reach

[Anstrup]

In the future, insted of seat belts everyone has magnetic boots, DUH!

Yeah but really? seriosly? How are we supposed to know that? None of the halo games explain this to us.

Back on track.
I like, and have always liked halo for its multiplayer, campaign is fun with a freind, but thats about as far as it goes.

EDIT
Someboyd said something about bad AI for your allies? I second that. Alot. Those space marines are idiots.

 

[Mr. Sparzy]

Wow! That was surprising. I thought you were totally going to rip on it.

 

[General Vagueness]

I completely forgot that Oni was made by Bungie.

Other than that, he pretty much voiced the same stuff i was thinking about Halo:Reach. Also I never really thought about the whole lack of seat belts.

What DOES bug me is. Why do we have fall damage, if Spartan can survive fucking re-entry into a planet?

Remember Halo 3? Master Chief re-entering earth?

Noble 6's armour might have locked up. just not as bad.

Hell good point though

If you pay attention during the cutscene where he docks the Saber with Anchor 9 an automated voice (not Auntie Dot IIRC) points out that he's got re-entry gear on.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

The funny part is that in my multiplayer experiences with this game, which is fairly extensive, I've only had one match with the aforementioned metacunts, and boy were they pathetic examples of our species. But that's it. All the other matches had pretty polite players.

 

[Danpascooch]

I am confused, what did he WANT exactly? Most of the faults he mentioned are things we see in just about every game, what did he expect here?

I know saying Yahtzee's standards are too high is like saying water is wet, but "no seatbelts"? Seriously? Come on Yahtzee, you're going to have to do better than that if you want to hate something just because it's popular.

Of course it's alright to dislike Halo, but no seatbelts? Really?

 

[Mr. Sparzy]

In the future, insted of seat belts everyone has magnetic boots, DUH!

Yeah but really? seriosly? How are we supposed to know that? None of the halo games explain this to us.

Back on track.
I like, and have always liked halo for its multiplayer, campaign is fun with a freind, but thats about as far as it goes.

I just found out by reading the book, but at Halo 3, i thought it was obvious when you had weapons stick magnetically to you and that you would assume they have magnetic armor.

 

[Wolf Devastator]

"So the squad was called Noble Team, and they all die noble deaths. Holy shit, I just got that"

Hilarious.

 

[Varya]

Ok, I have to call "Bullshit" on this. Not your review per-se, but your claim about multiplayer. Halo is THE biggest multiplayer-game on X-box live and to say that that isn't a real part of the game is a bit like saying WoW has to be appreciated for it's single-player mode. You don't have to like multiplayer, I usually don't, but to say a game can't be built around it is, well... wrong.
Another example is RE5, a game that I would HATE to play single player. But playing it with my roommate it turns in to one of my favorite games. To say a game sucks just because the single-player sucks is bullshit in a world where gaming is more and more a social hobby. Now, I have no problem with a review saying that as someone who don't really play online, this sucks ass. But to say that a game HAVE to have a solid single-player in order to be proper is, as I said, bullshit

 

[Draconalis]

I'm not a huge fan of Halo, but I like co-op campaign. I got Reach because it was 40 dollars new and offered 4 player co-op.

I have to admit, I really liked the story. And the after credits stage was a REALLY nice touch.

Unfortunately... my gold expired, and I have no interest in renewing it... so I'll never get to play 4 player co-op.

I am not particularly surprised that Yahtzee liked it a little... because I liked it alot, despite Halo's history of having a terrible story. (Halo 2 was when the story got really interesting for me, and then 3 shat all over that with plot holes)

 

[YoungZer0]

I would like you to name one game where...

The A.I does not get in your way, They are not completely pants on head retarded and do not run blindly into fire and die.

EVERY game has them, if you complain about Halo, you complain about 99.9% of all shooters as well. (Star Wars Republic Commando is the only game i have seen where the Intelligence in "Artificial Intelligence" actually means something).

As stated, this is a Halo game for Halo Fans, who are used to how the how the game works. the A.I is meant to be pathetic because hell, we all would be if we encountered 8 foot aliens with plasma based weaponry. Think of the A.I as the meat shield, if you are hurt, hide for a bit while they take the fire.

Army of Two: 40th Day. And please, spare your bullshit arguments. "The game needs to have shitty A.I. simply because the previous title had them."

You're exactly the kind of Halo Fan Yahtzee was talking about.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

I just noticed he didnt say anything was terible. A few flaws, But nothing major.

That's because Bungie never really changed anything in the whole run of the series. You can't complain about things that have been shit in the first one, since they have became part of the franchise.

Yeah, but Bungie has changed things. Halo 1 is very different to Halo Reach. Oh wait sorry, they still have sheilds and space marines and a few of the same weapons, thats the formula for shitness apparently.

I played Halo 1 a few days before i gave Reach a try. The Art-Direction is a lot darker.

That's it.

A few days before you played reach? Let me ask you some thing. was that your first time or did you ever play Halo 1 when it was new?

I played it the first time it was released. Played Halo 2 the first time it was released. Didn't care for 3, Wars or ODST. Reach looked different, except it wasn't.

So you are saying that Halo has just been more of the same since day 1? Well good sir, tell me a single franchise that has not been more of the same? Because as far as im aware thats pretty much what a franchise is. A continuation of something popular. If Halo 2 was not similar to Halo 1 the franchise would have died, because Halo 1 was such a huge hit it would be stupid not to milk its success. If you want something different to Halo 1, play another game. I didnt go to watch Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back expecting something completely different to A new Hope.

 

[sheogoraththemad]

so he liked it? I agree that a game has to stand on the singleplayer, but don't forget the firefight and forge

 

[Mikazuki]

I never really understood the Halo games and why people like it so much. It's just another shooter, nothing special.

Completely agree with Mr. Yahtzee on this one.

 

[xXDeMoNiCXx]

Interesting review, I'm probably never going to play H:R but it amused me when he poked fun at it.

 

[Sid Meier]

This review was pretty fair and charitable, probably more then MovieBob would give anyways.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

Wow. An uncharacteristically fair and reasonable review from Yahtzee. Pointing out valid concerns while grudgingly admitting some enjoyment. About a Halo game no less. I am both amazed and confused.

Time to head to Wal-Mart and pick up my End-of-the-world Survivor Kit because the biblical apocalypse simply cannot be far behind.

 

[DarkhoIlow]

Finally this overrated franchise has come to an end.

Another funny and spot on review Mr.Croshaw.

 

[Potato21]

So...they borrowed elements of the ending from Crisis Core?