Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

[Deriaz]

Just got done watching it. I just want to say two things: One) The panda thing at the end was hilarious. Were I drinking, I'd have water coming out of my nose. Two) I agree totally about the timer thing, though in a different way.

I'm on the fourth mission, Normal difficulty. Apparently, they want me to escort a bunch of faceless units to various aircraft, while also protecting those aircraft. Apparently, the aircraft weren't built with guns in that year in the Halo timeline, so they're defenseless, or so it seems. If they were at least capable of having half a brain and shooting something, I'd be fine with the mission. But I'm not; I'd rather not even attempt it, because I don't like it when an RTS makes me scroll around the screen like I'm having a seizure trying to protect everything and everyone.

I guess I'm like Yahtzee; I want to just take everything and gogogo!! Pass go, collect $200, roll again!! Golden Mushroom, all 10's!! Move! I don't want to plan out, "Ok, one tank and these go here, you all go here, you all go here, escort people go here, etcetcetc." That's annoying, and that isn't fun.

I suppose I have no reason to complain, though. It IS an RTS, and that was to be expected at one point for me. I suppose I'm better off sticking to Warcraft, where at least I sort of have more control over what I'm doing.

 

[ABN THUG 210]

I loved the opening.

 

[The Sadist]

lol, 幹. You're awesome Yahtzee

 

[Grand_Poohbah]

I think your right about rts's not being able to adapt to console.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

L
O
L

awesome!!!!!!!

great reveiw (s)

 

[Boaal]

The unskippable review was just... annoying. Attempting to be Yahtzee and failing, with a slightly annoying voice to top it off. But that rant at the end was fucking hilarious. I like RTS's, even though I generally suck at them, but they can be incredibly frustrating XP

 

[Dalisclock]

The unskippable guy was....decent at best. Granted, Yathzees appearance on unskippable was much the same.

Otherwise, Good review. And as someone who generally likes RTS's, I agree with a lot of the points he made about the flaws of the genre.

At least he didn't play Red Alert, where you have to kill every little little soldier/silo/outhouse on the map or the mission won't end, despite the fact the enemies entire army has been dead for a good hour.

 

[letsnoobtehpwns]

Best episode EVARR? Yes, it is. Watch after the credits! It's fucking funny!

 

[Skeleon]

Do a review on Sacrifice, it's somewhere in between RTS, RPG and Action. Plus, you get to blow stuff up with volcanos.
Also, the demons' review was the best ZP so far. :-D

 

[Gamer137]

That last minute or so of the review itself was hilarious. I have not laughed that hard at a ZP in ages. Plus the Unskippable vs. ZP fight was good.

I know Yahtzee wron't read this, but he needs to try RTS games on PCs for condeming them with a console retardation of the genre.

 

[InsaneSmilie]

All of a sudden I want to play Starcraft. Also what the hell was with the unskipable guys hosting this at the beginning?

 

[Tony2077]

i love halo wars to bad this guy doesn't know jack about rts's and neither do most of you people

 

[Zeroththeking]

I actually considered the Unskippable dude coming into the review to be pretty funny. He pulled it off like Yahtzee did when he first was a Youtube dude with only 2 reviews. But now that Yahtzee is more popular then any of the shows, the comparison is what killed him. Also, Yahtzee did do pretty well in the Unskippable crossover. I thought the crossover was genius, but then again the thoughts of a misanthropic pill popper are usually as forgotten as the disemboweled teenage mothers in my house.

 

[greyhairdgamer]

by far your funniest review in a long time, thank you.
RTS suck balls anyway, i shall be avoiding this one as well

 

[MistaSmegheneghan]

Holy crap, he was pissed off near the end. Biblical swearing then.

 

[UltraBlumpkin]

Until they start using the PS3 keyboard/mouse combo for console RTS's, they will never become a viable console genre. The controller just doesn't have enough mobility and preciseness to make it worth using when everyone has a perfectly good computer around.


/Good one Yahtzee