Zero Punctuation: Heavy Rain

[A1]

WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Excuse me? At what point did Yahtzee actually describe the game as such?

 

[alldreamsfalldown]

Arse nipples! I was hoping you wouldn't review this. I love Heavy Rain.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

I knew he'd go against the game for being a bunch of QTE's but he didn't call it Quick Time Events: the game and i'm quite surprised

 

[Spooge2Luvs]

why would he review GOW 3 theres nothing to bash about that game....

 

[JaredXE]

WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Excuse me? At what point did Yahtzee actually describe the game as such?

I believe it's the part where he says the QTE's are the core, skin, seed and whole fucking apple tree of the game.

But that's because I payed attention.

 

[Spooge2Luvs]

yeah theres only 28 endings to see.....

 

[Plurralbles]

exactly the review I expected. Remember his Fable Review where he knew everything was going to go to shit because everything was so perfect before the entire village is annhiliated? Yeah. Duh.

gah, It's exactly like a book. (Must introduce characters through boringbullshit and wait fr freakin' ever for anything to be interesting)

 

[Resin213]

Strange I thought Yahtzee would love Heavy Rain, one big long QTE, isn't that just his thing? The fact that he said anything nice about it (flowers in the poo) actually surprised me a bit.

 

[TheyTookOurJobs]

Killing Kids. ROFL

 

[PeterDawson]

Huh, good point about the killer changing thing. It would add a nice bit to the story if everyone was given a motive and then the revelation just goes the extra mile, sort of like what happened in the movie that got Kevin Spacey his Academy Award for Best Actor (I'm being vague to avoid spoilers because I hate using tags).

 

[Shrix157]

Was it just me, or did zero seem 2 be talking more slowly than usual?

Could this possibly be the beginning of the end?? Has our last honest and opinionated rater of games been tamed by either a) the game companies who want good reviews or b) has he finally started giving a shit about fans who can't understand how awesomely fast he talks?

I also noticed a distinct lack of hilarious metaphors and similes I've come to know and love zero for.

 

[Mysnomer]

I totally agree about changing the killer's identity. I figured that was a common sense choice, so when I ignored spoilers thinking it would only reveal one line, I was sorely disappointed to find out I had the entire game spoiled.

Also, WOOT, Scott Bakula!

 

[MowDownJoe]

By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

Pointing towards Jim Sterling's review of Heavy Rain? Tsk-tsk... I would've preferred you point towards his spoilerrific teardown of the big reveal.

 

[BinkyStalls]

i guess he didnt get to the sex mini game

 

[Jax765]

By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

Actually, if you fail a trial, you don't get a clue as to the whereabouts of you son. So no, the scenario is not just cleared if you fail. Just saying.

Also, to the people complaining about plot holes, use your damn head and think about it. There are no big plot holes.

Another thing, Yahtzee complains about the lack of incentive to replay. There are several different endings to get, and the story pans out differently, which was enough to make me want to replay it.

 

[Spooge2Luvs]

actually depending on what kind of games you like this game is def. worth buying

 

[Jared]

Hehe...I liked the opening. Its unlike any game really that you can review...

Although, still, I liked it...it certainly seems accurate to what I played XD

 

[ssgt splatter]

Hmm, I didn't think he'd do this one since it can't technically be called a game but nice job anyway.

 

[Jax765]

By the way:

There are consequences and punishments for fucking up in Heavy Rain ... but only some of the time. Many of the game's most thrilling QTE sequences are little more than illusions that you actually can't fail. Ethan's big, scary trials in the game? Try and fail them, see what happens. The game will arrogantly take over for you, because it's so cocksure and egotistical that it simply MUST make you see all the brilliance it has to offer. Having Ethan fail at something, then pass out and wake up with the whole scenario being cleared up for him is bullshit, and it completely ruins the excitement factor.

Actually, if you fail a trial, you don't get a clue as to the whereabouts of you son. So no, the scenario is not just cleared if you fail. Just saying.

Also, to the people complaining about plot holes, use your damn head and think about it. There are no big plot holes.

Another thing, Yahtzee complains about the lack of incentive to replay. There are several different endings to get, and the story pans out differently, which was enough to make me want to replay it.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Well, I was expecting it to be a lot more harsh than this, what with all the quick time events being the entire game. I've played fahrenheit, and that just went bananas too. Looks like I'll be checking it out when it's cheap then.

I don't really see the appeal of wanting a different killer though, that'd sort of cheapen the whole thing for me, if it was arbitrary. Like when I was younger and read those choose your own adventure books, how does opening the door or not change what the hell is on the other side?
Here's a hint: IT DOESN'T.