Zero Punctuation: Next Gen Buyer's Guide

[ServebotFrank]

Nintendo probably would be doing a much better job if they could get some good third party support going. It's pretty much the only thing they need to do at this point in order to be worth a purchase. Get a bunch of exclusives and it's set.

I know nothing about the PS4 besides that it has a controller.

Xbone is not looking to be worth a purchase so ignore this thing at all costs.

 

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

I was secretly hoping this video would begin with "WAR" and end with "In the Navy"


Sigh...

 

[isbjorn]

the more i learn about the next gen the more i love my ps2. Those were the good old days when only being able to play games and watch dvds was enough. time to build my new pc

I second, only I have a PS3 (80 gig so it's backwards compatible) though it is currently refusing to play blurays and has begun to question my PS3 game choices. le sigh.....

I think for my next gaming system, I'm investing in a great PC. Time to learn keyboard controls! Just wish I had the knowledge to build my own.

 

[Deadcyde]

The real shame of it is Yahtzee isn't just nit picking in his usual hilarious manner. He's bang on..

oh well, maybe there's hope in the microconsoles.

 

[E-Penguin]

I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

In case noone has answered this yet - Something Awful-type LPs.
The superior kind, in other words, albeit not always as entertaining, to most people, at least.

If you wish to know more, just google "Something Awful" in combination with "Let's Play".
A lot of fairly interesting stuff, I have to say.

I know about Yahtzee's appreciation of SA let's plays, but I was thinking about specific ones, other than the ones already mentioned in this article: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/8703-Lets-Talk-About-Lets-Play.

 

[Smurf McSmurfington]

I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

In case noone has answered this yet - Something Awful-type LPs.
The superior kind, in other words, albeit not always as entertaining, to most people, at least.

If you wish to know more, just google "Something Awful" in combination with "Let's Play".
A lot of fairly interesting stuff, I have to say.

I know about Yahtzee's appreciation of SA let's plays, but I was thinking about specific ones, other than the ones already mentioned in this article: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/8703-Lets-Talk-About-Lets-Play.

Ah, my bad then.

 

[DataSnake]

I think for my next gaming system, I'm investing in a great PC. Time to learn keyboard controls! Just wish I had the knowledge to build my own.

A couple handy tips:
1. If you don't want to learn keyboard-and-mouse controls, you could just get a 360 controller, those work with PCs.
2. If you want to build your own PC, this guide [http://www.tomshardware.com/reviews/build-your-own-pc,2601.html] should tell you everything you need to make it happen.
3. If you're not sure you're up to that, these guys [http://www.cyberpowerpc.com/] are the next best thing; you can pick what parts you want and they'll build it for you.

 

[taltamir]

Time to look back through the archive and see how this episode compares with his last evaluation of 'next-gen' consoles goes. I'm guessing it's almost identical in feel if not in details.

That said, the cynicism has a certain appeal. Maybe it's because I'm older and more jaded, or maybe this is the first step on the road to Video Game Apocalypse.

cynicism? this was not an over the top parody of a review, but a regular run of the mill review for next gen consoles, because they are really that bad.

 

[SilverUchiha]

It occurs to me that Yahtzee might have even more reason to *****. He's imported games before to get around fucked up Australian release dates, but it suddenly occurs to me that used games shenanigans may prevent imports altogether...

I actually recall reading something about the XboxOne being region locked... so probably.

 

[13]

Yahtzee, you make me wish I could hibernate for an entire year 'till the next E3.

 

[faefrost]

Wouldn't it be nice if corporations actually were made to suffer for acting anti-consumer? And just to be clear, I classify anything as anti-consumer if it is meant to benefit the corporation (i.e. releasing new hardware with the purpose of stealing all the profits away from retailers from used game sales), and greatly inconveniences the consumer or vastly changes the way in which consumers purchase / enjoy products in a negative fashion.

Next gen, don't buy it.

Well Microsoft did crash the PC market by 30% with Windows 8, and the return rate at retail on Windows 8 products is so obscene that their OEM partners want Balmers head mailed to each of them in a small box. So they are feeling quite a bit of anti consumer suffering. Just apparently not yet enough to have given them cause to rethink the whole XBoned endeavor.

 

[TheUnbeholden]

Mr Q - "Anybody know the phone number of a company that can send dozens of theme park mascots to a person's house for a day or two?"

And by theme park mascots I assume you mean Escorts right?

Thats exactly what I was thinking.. great minds think alike.

 

[TheUnbeholden]

XD. What gets me about the lack of games on the Wii U is... Context.

OK, admittedly, it's now 5-6 months after launch, and very little new content has shown up.

But... The Wii U launch lineup was 20 games!

Do you know what the N64 launched with? 4 games. The gamecube wasn't much better. Nor was the Wii.
The same can be said about the 3ds too, although that was more of an obvious problem. (But the 3ds has recovered from that pretty well so...)

For that matter, at this point I doubt either the PS4 and Xbox One will have all that many games at launch...

It just seems like an odd thing to pick on, all things considered.

Maybe they will have 15 titles at the end of the year (which is still less than what Wii U launched with!).

Also EA won't be developing games for the Wii U because they refuse to use Origin (the very program Yahtzee hates and with good reason). So it is a really odd criticism.

If you have nothing to review don't make premature reviews about things you barely know anything about.

Talk about the Wii U is alright because that is already out & talking about X-bone is fine because of their presentation conference and the stupid advertising and restrictions controversy.

And as for PS4, He was merely commenting on a announced PS4 feature, that was more like nitpicking really.

 

[C117]

And still, I'm going to buy myself a WiiU. Because I need my Super Smash Bros., dangit...

 

[WarpZone]

Regarding the "hold something I like hostage" metaphor-- they're already doing that. Remember Halo 2 multiplayer? Every single Xbox game that requires a centralized server in order to function will one day be shut off. So maybe they're hoping that when our Halo 4s and Borderlands 2s stop working, we'll buy a new console because we have no other choice.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they've already installed, through mandatory compatibility updates, malicious code that deletes all our singleplayer saves the moment they decide the era of the Xbox 360 is over. After all, why even allow us the option of playing the Old Hotness, when they're so desperate to shove New and Busted down our throats?

 

[head desk tricycle]

I think that God created Playstation and XBox fanboys so that the old Sega fanboys have someone they can feel superior to.

 

[ooreilly]

If a console has one game which you believe is worth the cost of the console and the game and you can happily afford it then you should but it. This way not only do you get to play the game you want but the big companies need to sell many games for their consoles to make up for the loss when they sell the console to begin with and this way you are beating the system kind of.

 

[Edl01]

I tend to give Sony the benefit for seeming to have announced the console with the most avoidable/ignorable new "features" (heavy scare quotes) of the three. But I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop- to find out that Sony is also, as has been hypothesized, planning on taking an axe to the used game market, or plans on interrupting your gameplay to show you advertisements, or... whatever nightmarish anti-consumer malevolence a clever marketing department can come up with that challenges my own limited imagination.

No. Sony aren't having DRM, they confirmed it. I have seen it said a million times and yet people still like to suggest that it might.
I am just going to stick with my PC myself, wait for the first year of the new consoles to pass and see how they do. If any of them still look worthwhile then I'll but them.

 

[plainlake]

His criticisms of the PS4 seemed rather forced, IMO. He basically talked about optional features as if they were manditory, and gave no credit to it not needing to be online to play games, not blocking used games, and already having some strong exclusives lined up. (Such as Infamous Second Son, a series he really likes) But whatever, bashing things is what pays his bills.

^Leader of Yatzhees personal stalker club^ Anyway, everyone here that cant PC because money/stupidity/active personal life is going to buy PS4 or Xbone, sad but true.