Zero Punctuation: Painkiller

[Grunj]

Oh, Yahtzee, the power you wield:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/movers-and-shakers/videogames/ref=pd_ts_mte/002-7413643-6366425

Just remember, with great power comes eyeliner, an emo haircut, and the obligation to lose those powers for no logical reason in the sequel.

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

I'm not going to lie, that was a good review. Made me laugh more than ususal. Also, I have been having some loading problems. Has the Escapist had an update or change?

As one of the first few to post in this thread, I would like to establish some "implied yet unwritten" rules/guidelines, because I'm not a mod and I don't expect everyone to follow these, but for the greater good of this thread, PLEASE follow them as best as you can! -and Remember, I am condemning out of love, not hate (sort of)

[li]NO ASS KISSING! Yahtzee hates it when people call flawed work flawless, so give the guy some criticism, it's the best thing an artist can get.
[/li]


[li]No flaming either! If you disagree with Yahtzee, say why, and then criticize him, preferably constructively.
[/li]

[li] NO ONE POST WONDERS! IF YOU ARE GOING TO REGISTER JUST TO SAY 'LOL YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, GOOD JOB! BEST ONE YET! LOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOL OR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE....DON'T! If you register, make your post worthwhile, because one post wonders have an opinion that is worth practically NOTHING, if you make an account, browse the other forums, or just do something other than kiss Yahtzee's ass![/li]

[li]SERIOUSLY! NO ASS KISSING![/li] The Ass kissers are worse than the flamers, the flamers still actually contribute by giving (whether it be good or bad) criticism, ass kissers just make the thread grow until it bursts with bile! DON'T DO IT!


Thanks for listening! Chances are this will be completely ignored anyway! Happy posting!

You can go suck a dick. It is not your place to enforce these rules, allow the stupids to have their fun; that way you don't send them into a spiral of depression and have law suites shoved up your ass. I really hate it when people take it upon their self to enforce the supposed rules. Contact a mod if you want a message put out, that way you'll only sound a dick in front of him.

Fuck it at least I got some attention, it was worth a try, what's a mod gonna do anyway? Tell me the exact same thing? I wasn't even an asshole to you guys, I didn't "enforce them" I said "it would probably be best if----" - so you can kiss my ass you insult spurting ****.

And I'm fucking proud!

Now now ladies. Calm down. Its only an internet forum.

 

[kallenator]

Now, which idiot thought it was a good idea to change the design of the site and leave the (insert random awesome word) Zero Punctuation reviews in a 4 by 5 picture pattern with really small text under to explain what it contains plus date, when all the screen shots of the videos are yellow with minor variations (of course) and you can only tell them apart if your name is Yahtzee?!

Excellent video btw.

 

[Grunj]

This review was his best in a while, considering mailbag showdown wasn't really a review. I enjoy his videos a lot more when he's reviewing something he likes; I wish he would stop reviewing overhyped mainstream games that everyone already knows everything about, even before they're out of development.

I've never heard of painkiller, and this review actually made me want to try it out. It was the same story with his psychonauts review, and I loved that game. So please Yahtzee, continue to review more overlooked and underrated gems; Mainstream games don't need any more fucking attention!

Nuts to that. Half the fun of Yahtzee's reviews is knowing what he's talking about and getting all the references he makes because you've played the game. Clearly, he realizes a lot of us haven't played Painkiller and so he tailors his review appropriately, but I miss nodding my head in agreement. I'm not saying he should NEVER review "overlooked or underrated gems" but I think he's got the mix about right. This whole discussion is moot though, because this is Yahtzee we're talking about and he's going to review whatever the fuck grabs his fancy and strokes it up and down at an increasing pace until there's a sort of extremely pleasurable sneeze.

 

[Blind0bserver]

When I logged onto "Steam" this morning I noticed a banner in the Steam Store advertising "Painkiller Gold Edition". On the banner it said "Includes guns that shoot shurikens and lightning!" Hmm....

 

[Blandotaco]

I played a demo of this game once, my weaponry consisted of: painkiller, a shotgun with a barrel the size of a howitzer, a chain gun hooked up to a rocket launcher, and a crossbow with a grenade launcher... it was fun.

Edit: who hooks a grenade launcher up to a crossbow anyway?

 

[Kason8002]

i didnt have any trouble with the video loading.

anyway...i might go out and get Painkiller now. it looked like mindless fun.

 

[aiusepsi]

As well as the ad on the Steam store, it's also now the 6th best selling game, behind the usual favourites (two kinds of Counter-Strike, CoD4, TF2, and the Orange Box) but that's quite a sales bump.

Also makes me wonder why people are bothering buying it on Amazon, sure, it's $5.50 cheaper, but delivery time is such a pain.

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

And I'm fucking proud!

Well at least that's who you are and you aren't just being a **** for the sake of overcompensation. It just really sounded like you misunderstood me, I was trying to do good, not evil! Then people popped up and was like "OMG YOU ASSHOLE WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" - it was a mere suggestion and nothing more.

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

As well as the ad on the Steam store, it's also now the 6th best selling game, behind the usual favourites (two kinds of Counter-Strike, CoD4, TF2, and the Orange Box) but that's quite a sales bump.

Also makes me wonder why people are bothering buying it on Amazon, sure, it's $5.50 cheaper, but delivery time is such a pain.

It's gotta be shipped over to you anyway, what's the point?

 

[leonbev]

Great review as always... now about you stop whining about the new Mario Cart and review the damn thing! It's not like you have anything better to do this summer while you're waiting for the next batch of blockbuster games to come out in October and November.

 

[rwstiles]

Good to hear your views as always. But could you speak more slowly and enunciate more clearly?

 

[Smokescreen]

Thought it was funny, enjoyed it, but I won't be able to put it to the test, since I don't have a PC. Oh well.

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

Huh, and here I was looking forward to a "The World Ends With You" review.

Eh. In any case, at least we could get to see reviews of games that came to be, before he started reviewing.

I've never played Painkiller, though from your explanation it sounds a bit simple. I'm left wondering if the main character doesn't at least shoot out one-liners a la Duke Nukem.

fortunately no he doesnt but he has less personality than cardboard

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Thought it was funny, enjoyed it, but I won't be able to put it to the test, since I don't have a PC. Oh well.

Are you typing through a Wii or an an iPhone or something (or a PS3 with Linux on it?) ...or a Laptop? I bet a somewhat old laptop could run it, don't know about processor speed though.

I've never played Painkiller, though from your explanation it sounds a bit simple. I'm left wondering if the main character doesn't at least shoot out one-liners a la Duke Nukem.

fortunately no he doesnt but he has less personality than cardboard

...but he's still got baaallls oof steeell

 

[rwstiles]

Great, as always, to hear your view. Could you please talk more slowly and enunciate more clearly? HAhaha.

 

[rwstiles]

Great, as always, to hear your view. Could you please talk more slowly and enunciate more clearly? HAhaha.