Zero Punctuation: Pokemon White

[samaugsch]

Pokemon games need the ability to reject most random battle chalenges. Or a machine gun. Or a katana.

Or a Pokemon black market.

 

[Saviordd1]

I have never, nor will ever understand the appeal of effing pokemon to people over the age of 12. I'm pretty sure I was around that age when this bs all started and even then I thought it was stupid.

I do like yahtzee's theory of it all being one giant illusion and the actual reality being a horrifying nightmare lol. I'd love a game all about collecting rabies ridden rodents beating the crap out of each other. =P

This times 10, pokemon is just really stupid

 

[Kris Agosto]

He may not be able to beat Emolga, but here's a level 1 beating a whole team of 100s. Enjoy.

http://youtu.be/oJxvmtCwAZY

 

[II2none]

Lol everyone cool with yahtzee when he reviews Halo, COD or Sonic unleashed. but diss a franchise that's been going 15 years strong and he's a satanist.

I use to play pokemon but a psp sounded more appealing. I sold all my game boy/advance games a long time ago, but those were the days.

 

[BlackSnow]

There are people who honestly believe Pokemon has undergone any fundamental changes in the past 15 years. This worries me.

It has, look at the initial mechanics then the mechanics today.

No, it really hasn't changed. It's all the same. All they do is slightly improve graphics, slightly improve sound, and let an extra Pokemon in to fight at a time. That's not a fundamental change. That's a slight alteration to the same damn formula.

Gen1: Competitive battling was all about : Psychic types and Paper/rock/scissors
Gen5:Competitive battling is all about : Setup and items

Setup what you may ask. well:

Weather effects: Suddenly all your fire/water/etc attacks do more damage and the opposed element less. Oh look all your speed stat have been doubled on pokemon with the corresponding ability.Sone of your pokemon are getting healed, some are cured of all aliments, and some even have increased evasion or some other stat.

Stat Boosts: fast pokemon too weak, Strong pokemon not fast enough, defensive pokemon wanting to make noobs cry more tears? Not anymore

entry-hazards: Hate pokemon that are weak to rock, want to poison all your opponents pokemon, or just chip away at their health? Then laying these down will punish your opponent for having the gall to even step into the ring.


held Items: Allow your pokemon to heal every turn, escape certain death once, damage/status your enemy,boost stats, and the list goes and goes

The games competitive metagame evolves each generation. I've been playing competitively over the internet through the various battle simulators for almost 2 years now and you have no idea how much this generation shuffled pokemon around. Ninetales and Politoed who have been crap pokemon for generations are two of the leading mons in the new BW metagame just from their new abilities.Mew,Garchomp,and Deoxis(one of the forms) are no longer Uber(last I checked) because nintendo has buffed the new mons enough that those two no longer break the game as they once did. I could go on and on about how much this gen has re-shuffled things but frankly I'm tired and so I depart for the land of dreams.

 

[Quicksilver1111]

I really must know, after all this time, do poison type Pokemon still suck?

 

[Andrew_Mac]

their all evolutions of the same pokemon what else would would you call a vanilla ice cream line? they have tons of creativity

I mean, why is the family even called vanilla in the first place? Vanilla is the most plain ice cream flavour ever.

And as for tons of creativity bullshit, most of the pokemon names are just badly made puns. Such as:
Sandile. It's a Crocodile, and its ground type. OMG push the freaking boat out!!!
Boldore. Yes, IT'S A ROCK TYPE!!! :O I'd NEVER have guessed that!!!
Timburr. it carries bits of wood. Well done. and its evolutions aren't much better. Gurdurr. yep, it carries steel girders... Conkeldurr. Well thats just silly...

All in all, I like pokemon, but I prefered it when it wasn't all puns and lack of creative names. I know, its always been that way in Pokemon. since the first in the pokedex, bulbasaur. Its a plant dinosaur! But still, that was when they were still growing. No excuses now.

well it's made of snow. snow is white and so is vanilla ice cream also what else do you expect them to name a rock type? grassolon? if it's not a pun the only thing they can name it is something completely unrelated.

I think you'll find its made of ice. which is blue. or at least the pokemon family is blue. mores the point, vanilla ice cream is yellowish. Dunno what you've been eating... but it ain't ice cream...

And i'm not wanting something completely unrelated as a name, just something thats not a completely shite pun. 4th gen didn't have many pun pokemon names, what the hell went wrong this time?

(note i said MANY pun names. there will be some so don't quote me again saying names that are puns in the 4th gen. i just don't care that much...)

 

[SD-Fiend]

their all evolutions of the same pokemon what else would would you call a vanilla ice cream line? they have tons of creativity

I mean, why is the family even called vanilla in the first place? Vanilla is the most plain ice cream flavour ever.

And as for tons of creativity bullshit, most of the pokemon names are just badly made puns. Such as:
Sandile. It's a Crocodile, and its ground type. OMG push the freaking boat out!!!
Boldore. Yes, IT'S A ROCK TYPE!!! :O I'd NEVER have guessed that!!!
Timburr. it carries bits of wood. Well done. and its evolutions aren't much better. Gurdurr. yep, it carries steel girders... Conkeldurr. Well thats just silly...

All in all, I like pokemon, but I prefered it when it wasn't all puns and lack of creative names. I know, its always been that way in Pokemon. since the first in the pokedex, bulbasaur. Its a plant dinosaur! But still, that was when they were still growing. No excuses now.

well it's made of snow. snow is white and so is vanilla ice cream also what else do you expect them to name a rock type? grassolon? if it's not a pun the only thing they can name it is something completely unrelated.

I think you'll find its made of ice. which is blue. or at least the pokemon family is blue. mores the point, vanilla ice cream is yellowish. Dunno what you've been eating... but it ain't ice cream...

And i'm not wanting something completely unrelated as a name, just something thats not a completely shite pun. 4th gen didn't have many pun pokemon names, what the hell went wrong this time?

(note i said MANY pun names. there will be some so don't quote me again saying names that are puns in the 4th gen. i just don't care that much...)

your ice is blue? you must have fancy ice cube trays because i've only have CLEAR ice that or you get it from glaciers and as for the ice cream we must but different brands mine is pretty much white unless it gets freezer burnt.. and I see about as many "pun" names in gen 4 as any other gen.

 

[SD-Fiend]

Pokemon games need the ability to reject most random battle chalenges. Or a machine gun. Or a katana.

but then how would you train to beat the gym leader? or get money to buy any potions

 

[Kris Agosto]

"I really must know, after all this time, do poison type Pokemon still suck?"

Short answer: as everything other than defensive walls... yes.

 

[SD-Fiend]

I must admit, I still have my original cartridge of Pokemon Yellow <.<

some kid took my blue version thinking I gave it to him and moved before he gave it back

 

[AgentBJ09]

...The story is mediocre at best, and thats being kind. Some slight changes in the bad guys motivation is about it. Their whole arguement of "People using Pokemon is wrong" is really foreshadowed by the fact they just want a Uber pokemon to rule everyone with.

Same basic Team Rocket principle, just with a more hypocrital approach.

And like I stated earlier no I wont forgive the outdated gameplay. Give me a Pokemon game where you can actually control the pokemon, on a 3D plane, and I might be interested again.

Yet at the end

Spoiler

You find out N's dad, Ghetsis. Used that as a means to his end of taking over the world, he was the mastermind behind the vail. N had no idea what his father was planing, He wanted to free Pokemon because all his father did was expose him to Abused pokemon, no human contact save for him. Ghetsis had this planed for N for the longest time. This was by far the best pokemon game in the main line thus far, bar none.

Having read the game's plot and dialogue outlines from a few sources, I will say that while the plot and rivalry with N is very unique and much more intriguing than any other titles before, the game still pulls a Deus Ex moment right at the end and the game's progression is still no different from past titles.

For one, the true mastermind twist of Ghetsis was never foreshadowed throughout the game, in any capacity, for one simple reason: Nowhere before the end do you get any inkling or hints that Ghetsis is N's father, even in casual conversation with NPCs. Even N himself doesn't know that's true until the end of the game. A plot point, yes, but to me, since it wasn't hinted at in some fashion, it sounds contrived instead of thought out.

And what was Ghetsis's goal by manipulating so many people in the game: Take over the Unova region by being the sole holder of any combat worthy pokemon, exactly the same core motivations as Team Rocket, but not quite the same as Team Galactic. Couple that with the Deus Ex revelation of him being N's father at the end, and the story has some pretty large holes in it.

And yes, the game is linear to a near fault. This coming from the games I have played, Gen 1, 3, and 4. It's not terrible, and in the case of this narrative necessary to tell a tale, but it certainly gets to be when from one game to the next, in order to do the same tasks, you have to jump through more hoops, such as the bell ringing task Yahtzee pointed out.

I can see that kind of thing working to help players who don't grind for levels, but here's another idea: Make those tasks into side quests and have some slightly dynamic dialogue to drop hints that maybe you should try them instead of forcing you to do so to level your pokemon.

[hr]

Now, in terms of Yahtzee's review, it was worth seeing him tear into certain parts of the game, such as not having an opinion to kick pokemon if you wish to be cruel. That I found hilarious.

Also, he is correct about not one person being indifferent about pokemon. That's like having no one who is indifferent to Facebook. It's simply not possible, no matter how big a phenomenon it's become or how much a part of life it is.

I doubt he'll review Pokemon Black anytime soon, outside of a possible brief addendum in a future video where he says, "Yep, the plot is no different. Now run along and use GameFAQs to find what creatures you're missing, because I'm not telling. Besides, I've been playing 'insert game here' for 'X amount of time' anyway, so I stopped caring."

 

[John the Gamer]

Pokemon games need the ability to reject most random battle chalenges. Or a machine gun. Or a katana.

but then how would you train to beat the gym leader? or get money to buy any potions

See: That's where the katana/gun option comes in. You take the money at gunpoint and steal the gym-leaders pokemon. Then you beat them and don't have to train the pokemon yourself. (would probably end badly though, but not really since nobody goes to school)

 

[SD-Fiend]

Pokemon games need the ability to reject most random battle chalenges. Or a machine gun. Or a katana.

but then how would you train to beat the gym leader? or get money to buy any potions

See: That's where the katana/gun option comes in. You take the money at gunpoint and steal the gym-leaders pokemon. Then you beat them and don't have to train the pokemon yourself. (would probably end badly though, but not really since nobody goes to school)

yeah i'm pretty sure dragon vs gun is a bad move

 

[Xman490]

Ridiculous Element of Black and White #69: The Plasma leader is named N, is schizophrenic (says stuff like, "Let me hear the voice of your Pokemon!"), poses like a ******, keeps changing his party, and preaches about segregation.

 

[Kazaazz]

Well, Yahtzee as usual brings up the nitty-gritty that every single fanboy/girl loves to avoid. But I've already bought it and enjoyed it...but even so I feel surprsingly neutral on his criticism this week, probably for fear that my inner fangirl will rage to defend.

So I think all I really need to point out is how I'm glad that Yahtzee says all the awkward stuff about Pokemon so I don't have to when I argue about it in the near future. Yeah, thanks. Also though...I suppose the very reasons the crtics hate the franchise are the same reasons which make the fans love it. TBC? The traditional storyline? The random encounters? Critics may vary in opinion I suppose but I think it's applicable.

And yet, I have yet to see a single ultimately negative on Pokemon B/W save this one. (well, even though Yahtzee kinda does that anyway) Still, makes me wonder.

Anyway.

I completed the national dex. Again. I...am such...an idiot.

 

[legendp]

I agree with yahtzee from what I have seen the game has not changed since the original. It never really interested me because of the turn based element, same as playing a game of cards exept less social

 

[Nostalgia]

I really must know, after all this time, do poison type Pokemon still suck?

Depends on what you mean by sucking. Offensively, they are still bad. Poison still only hits grass super effectively and can't hit steel and has overall poor coverage for just plain STAB. Plus, majority of poison-types have poor offensive stats.
Defensively, they are much better. Setting up and absorbing Toxic Spikes, status passing, and resistance to one of the most commonly used offensive types fighting make them adequate stallers or support.

 

[Primus1985]

...The story is mediocre at best, and thats being kind. Some slight changes in the bad guys motivation is about it. Their whole arguement of "People using Pokemon is wrong" is really foreshadowed by the fact they just want a Uber pokemon to rule everyone with.

Same basic Team Rocket principle, just with a more hypocrital approach.

And like I stated earlier no I wont forgive the outdated gameplay. Give me a Pokemon game where you can actually control the pokemon, on a 3D plane, and I might be interested again.

Yet at the end

Spoiler

You find out N's dad, Ghetsis. Used that as a means to his end of taking over the world, he was the mastermind behind the vail. N had no idea what his father was planing, He wanted to free Pokemon because all his father did was expose him to Abused pokemon, no human contact save for him. Ghetsis had this planed for N for the longest time. This was by far the best pokemon game in the main line thus far, bar none.

Having read the game's plot and dialogue outlines from a few sources, I will say that while the plot and rivalry with N is very unique and much more intriguing than any other titles before, the game still pulls a Deus Ex moment right at the end and the game's progression is still no different from past titles.

For one, the true mastermind twist of Ghetsis was never foreshadowed throughout the game, in any capacity, for one simple reason: Nowhere before the end do you get any inkling or hints that Ghetsis is N's father, even in casual conversation with NPCs. Even N himself doesn't know that's true until the end of the game. A plot point, yes, but to me, since it wasn't hinted at in some fashion, it sounds contrived instead of thought out.

And what was Ghetsis's goal by manipulating so many people in the game: Take over the Unova region by being the sole holder of any combat worthy pokemon, exactly the same core motivations as Team Rocket, but not quite the same as Team Galactic. Couple that with the Deus Ex revelation of him being N's father at the end, and the story has some pretty large holes in it.

And yes, the game is linear to a near fault. This coming from the games I have played, Gen 1, 3, and 4. It's not terrible, and in the case of this narrative necessary to tell a tale, but it certainly gets to be when from one game to the next, in order to do the same tasks, you have to jump through more hoops, such as the bell ringing task Yahtzee pointed out.

I can see that kind of thing working to help players who don't grind for levels, but here's another idea: Make those tasks into side quests and have some slightly dynamic dialogue to drop hints that maybe you should try them instead of forcing you to do so to level your pokemon.

[hr]

Now, in terms of Yahtzee's review, it was worth seeing him tear into certain parts of the game, such as not having an opinion to kick pokemon if you wish to be cruel. That I found hilarious.

Also, he is correct about not one person being indifferent about pokemon. That's like having no one who is indifferent to Facebook. It's simply not possible, no matter how big a phenomenon it's become or how much a part of life it is.

I doubt he'll review Pokemon Black anytime soon, outside of a possible brief addendum in a future video where he says, "Yep, the plot is no different. Now run along and use GameFAQs to find what creatures you're missing, because I'm not telling. Besides, I've been playing 'insert game here' for 'X amount of time' anyway, so I stopped caring."

*high five* Finally someone speaks some sense. Good stuff sir, valid poits all.

Ya know I really feel for Yahtzee, sure he brings a bitting sarcasam to his reviews, but he just looks at it with rational eyes and sees the flaws. Im glad he picks apart games like he does. In fact I might rewatch his review of Pokemon. XD