Zero Punctuation: Portal 2

[Neshel]

I.... I disagree with Yahtzee? My world... it's falling apart!

Portal 2 was better than Portal 1 in every way. Except the loading screens. Too many loading screens!

 

[Cabamacadaf]

I kind of agree with this review, but I still think Portal 2 is better than Portal 1. Mainly because it's longer, but I also think the story and the humor is better than Portal 1.

 

[Gabriela D.]

A surprisingly negative review of a game which is, though perhaps not as innovative as it's first installment, arguably the best game of the year (this far)

Actually, I felt that was pretty mild for Yahtzee.

 

[sgtshock]

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with Yahtzee claiming Portal 1 is better than Portal 2 because less is more. I understand where he's coming from, but in my opinion a game isn't better just because it had less content and therefore less faults. It's like saying getting one really nice present for your birthday is better than getting a huge surprise party with all your friends but the cake was a bit stale.

That said, I totally agree with him that Team Fortress 2 hats are really annoying.

EDIT: Also, my mention of cake was completely coincidental.

 

[Aeroastrix]

I found Portal 2 to be very enjoyable, but as you said, the replay value isn't exactly that high. I mean, Portal was amazing, you could lock me up in a room with only Portal to play with and I'd be okay. The good thing is this review was honest and you didn't ride the Portal fanbase....ride

On another note co-op was fun but I found myself doing the entire second half by myself, with 2 controllers, cause I was going to blow my freaking brains from having to spam the hell out of the ping button because my partners were peripherally handicapped idiots! That said playing 2 player (with 1 player) provided twice the challenge, twice the satisfaction of beating a level, and twice the embarrassment when I told my friends that I was playing with myself and it was fun!

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

They do seem to lay the humour on a bit thick in Portal 2. Yes, we get it, Aperture Science is run by mad men with no regard for safety! Now tell me how the hell they keep hiring people!

They didn't really. In the game you can see the fall from grace of Aperture. When they had money they tested athletes and olympians, had marble floors and wood panels.
A decade later they took hobos from the streets and working conditions were not as luxurious. And in the 80's they made testing mandatory for employees because they couldn't find test subjects. Cheap plastics were everywhere. GLaDOS was the last real project they had before bankruptcy.

And if you were a scientist working at a facility were they hire olympians, astronauts and war heroes and tested them to death, would you keep working there? Would you keep working there after it becomes quite clear that your boss could cause the destruction of the entire facility? Would you keep working there after the previously mentioned boss died and then go on to build an AI that tries (and suceeds) to kill everyone?

Well I suppose the logical conclusion is that the scientists are just as mad as Cave Johnson. But thanks for repeating the plot of a game I've already played to me in the most plainly simple way possible, herp-a-derp.

 

[Ickorus]

No memes?

Well my response to that is Lemons and Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

I personally believe people only found those memes in this game because they were looking for them. They are nowhere near as memorable as the cake.

By the way, I love the doctor who reference in your title thingy

Space is a memorable one but I wouldn't call it a meme, just an inside joke.

For instance today at college I noticed a friend of mine had a space background for his gmail so I sent him a message over gmail saying "Im in space!" then a minute later "SPAAAAAAACE" and later still "spacespacespacespace"; he didn't get it at all since he hasn't completed the game yet but my other friend sat next to me who I played through the co-op with caught on right away and many laughs were had.

 

[duchaked]

crap the story's been somewhat spoiled for me already, though sadly it only proved I'm pretty good at figuring stuff out beforehand I just block it from myself most of the time ;p

but great review here, though it's about as much as I expected from Yahtzee. still, he's right that I really, really need to play the single player (90% done with the co-op with a friend, altho we're both busy with exams atm to finish just now)

 

[DaHero]

If Portal 3 takes place in space, how would momentum work?

Jetpacks...The Aperture Science Jump Booster will allow you to move in any direction you choose while the Aperture Science Magnetic Footwear will allow you to cling to walls you cannot portal through...and yes GladOS known how the shoes work, but won't tell anyone.

 

[CarlMin]

A surprisingly negative review of a game which is, though perhaps not as innovative as it's first installment, arguably the best game of the year (this far)

Actually, I felt that was pretty mild for Yahtzee.

I beg to differ^^
Yahtzee loved the first Portal, and given that portal 2 was met so well by the critics I naturally assume he was going to love it too. It's almost as if he is so afraid of being mainstream in his reviews that he doesn't enjoy praising Portal anymore now when everyone else is doing it

 

[Shjade]

Regarding lemons and space: I find it telling that the only references I've seen to these events outside the game itself have been through posts by people trying to convince me that they're popular.

This is the definition of a forced meme.

 

[Aptspire]

No memes?

Well my response to that is Lemons and Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

I agree, 'Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace' is becoming a meme of its own

 

[ikoian]

Portal 2 may or may not be better then the first, but it is what every sequel should be, different.
Maybe it's because I didn't play it until the global fan base plateaued and I've herd everyone ramble about every meme it generated at least 50 times, but the first Portal came out to me as just a very good game.
Portal 2 on the other hand I got fresh out of the release date (or I should say would if it weren't for some problems with Amazon and my debt card) so playing it and expecting absolutely nothing about it greatly improved the experience for me.
Also, can't argue that the boss fight was better in the second one, I thought the first one got a little repetitive.

 

[Shjade]

Portal has the worst fans...really? Really? ... With only 2 hours of experience to draw on, it got beaten to death by fans who were slightly overzealous about what Yahtzee himself described as the coming messiah. This is annoying, yes. But you cannot even begin to compare an ironic abundance of cake jokes with a racist kid on Live, and OCD weirdo playing Counterstrike every night for the last decade, a tea bagging douchbag on Halo...

Actually, yes, the Portal fans are worse than your three proceeding examples. Why?

Because Portal fans are everywhere and constantly in your face with the cake and the obnoxious. I only know what you're talking about with those other three because I recall having once watched Youtube clips about them. Aside from that I've had zero contact with any of them - I don't play those games, I don't hang out in their communities, they don't bother me.

Portal references are everywhere. You can't avoid them. That's far more annoying than extreme/hostile-but-easily-avoidable behavior.

 

[DarthFennec]

God I have got to play this fucking game >.<

 

[Allan Foe]

.

Deary me, somebody is "HULK SMASH!" angry in this thread, ho ho!

Today I feel charitable and and emphatic, as such allow me to relate invaluable intelligence:
Yahtzee does not read the entirety of forum comments for his videos, hoverer he does get a remarkably low amount of hate-mail (said so in the reddit interview), thus chances of engendering any kind of response from your opposition will be higher on the email frontier.

I could not bring myself ingest your hateful tired in it's entirety, my nerves and leisure have grown much to scarce of late, yet that post scriptum deserves at least a passing remark:

Hyakunin Isshu, I wish that at the end of your life's journey you may grow to carry at least a fifth of the respect and admiration that Benjamin Croshaw carries with gamers, developers, entertainment industry employees and casual consumers all over the world. May your works also be translated into several foreign languages (&#1074;&#1082;&#1083;&#1102;&#1095;&#1072;&#1103; &#1088;&#1091;&#1089;&#1089;&#1082;&#1080;&#1081 and bring mirth to many a generation.

Pah, I do hope the British git won't lay eyes on that paragraph, his ego is almost ready to burst as it is.

 

[Gabriela D.]

They do seem to lay the humour on a bit thick in Portal 2. Yes, we get it, Aperture Science is run by mad men with no regard for safety! Now tell me how the hell they keep hiring people!

They didn't really. In the game you can see the fall from grace of Aperture. When they had money they tested athletes and olympians, had marble floors and wood panels.
A decade later they took hobos from the streets and working conditions were not as luxurious. And in the 80's they made testing mandatory for employees because they couldn't find test subjects. Cheap plastics were everywhere. GLaDOS was the last real project they had before bankruptcy.

And if you were a scientist working at a facility were they hire olympians, astronauts and war heroes and tested them to death, would you keep working there? Would you keep working there after it becomes quite clear that your boss could cause the destruction of the entire facility? Would you keep working there after the previously mentioned boss died and then go on to build an AI that tries (and suceeds) to kill everyone?

Well I suppose the logical conclusion is that the scientists are just as mad as Cave Johnson. But thanks for repeating the plot of a game I've already played to me in the most plainly simple way possible, herp-a-derp.

You're welcome, trollop. I pride myself on my mad explaining skillz. As for the employees..I dunno. Maybe they had excellent health care. I heard they took out tumors AND improved you with science.

 

[Jegsimmons]

im kind of surprised, i either thought youd praise the hell out of it like portal one, or rip the thing to shreds. but then you sort of slide in the middle to punch me in the face while my dukes were still up.

this was probably the fairest review ive seen on a game while praising it for being an awesome game, you also pointed out flaws for the creators to take notice in future games that no one else really saw.

bravo Ben, bravo.