Zero Punctuation: Portal 2

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Dhatz

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Aug 18, 2009
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the whole first chapter is is the part that killed it. They should have made it a optional tutorial, because it was so boring it failed to get my dad to leard how to controll FPS games on PC. Then I let my sister try the levels starting where you pick up wheatley and she liked what she was playing from the start. Damn you production values, mofos spent 99 days making the physics for motel room destruction.
 

CaptainCash

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Feb 21, 2011
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Random Fella said:
I've never played any portal game, I may rent it but I can't imagine why people like it so much... Must be a you have to play to know thing so that's what i'll do :p

Please review Mortal Kombat 9? That would be awesome.
Im pretty sure thats been banned in Australia, he wouldn't be allowed to import it and then do a video on it.
 

Jaime_Wolf

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Jul 17, 2009
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I'm getting really tired of this "it's popular, now it sucks" mentality, especially as I see people make the point over and over with regard to the humour in Portal.

Also, most of the people talking about how "easy" the puzzles were need to (a) go back and play Portal and (b) realize how the puzzle design has shifted focus. People are not remembering how easy the overwhelming majority of puzzles were in Portal. Most of the "hard" puzzles in Portal were reflex tests, forcing you to fly through and quickly place a number of portals while carefully controlling your falls. They were difficult from a platforming perspective rather than a puzzle perspective. Portal 2 did away with most of the reflex-testing and actually added some complexity to the puzzles. Also, you have to consider that you had no prior training with the gameplay mechanics going into Portal whereas you have potentially an entire game's background going into Portal 2. As for the linearity of the puzzles, I don't even know what to say. You went through a NUMBERED SEQUENCE in Portal. Portal 2 isn't any less linear, but I don't really see how it is (or really could be) more linear.

And I flat-out do not understand some of his complaints in the video. There are too many sequences where you have to try to find portal surfaces and where the path forward is difficult to find, yet the game is too hand-holdy by giving you directions? These things cannot both be true. And given the story, wouldn't you expect the game to point you in the right directions since it's part of a controlled laboratory test?

It would have been nice to see him stress more how great a game it is and also mention how it can't quite live up to the predecessor rather than the opposite stressing. This feels vaguely dishonest - if you realise that your review is being biased by comparison to the predecessor, you should try to avoid that bias, not embrace it.
 

Yopaz

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Jun 3, 2009
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ImBigBob said:
Yopaz said:
ImBigBob said:
I'm surprised you didn't mention the frequent and annoying loading screens.
You know if you play this game on a PC like you should that cuts loading times a lot, never had an issue with them.

Great review, I was surprised to see that he like it this much, I would even say it seemed like he loved it, just not as much as the first one.
All I have is a laptop, which can't run anything more advanced than Torchlight. For a game like Portal, it lags like hell, so I'm playing it on PS3, thank you very much.

Besides, Uncharted 2 was a hell of a lot better looking than Portal, and I don't think there was a loading screen in the entire game. Every new locale was completely seamless. Meanwhile, Portal 2 has you exploring interesting locales and just when you're getting interested, -LOADING-.
So you got a crappy laptop and tries to play Portal 2 on it with bad results... That's kinda like watching a movie on a 14 inch TV and complain that the movie's hard to watch because of it. Annoying, but not the movie's fault.
 

johnnnny guitar

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Jul 16, 2010
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He hit the nail on the head
portal 2 is not as much as a puzzle game as portal thats why I cant replay it as much as portal
also WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE ADVANCE MAPS!!!!!
 

MrLefty

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Sep 25, 2008
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Agree entirely. Portal 2 was good... but it wasn't great, like Portal 1.

They didn't do anything useful with CJ; GLaDOS was toned down; Wheatley suddenly being "a moron" because the game decided to start calling him one was really clunky. And Yahtzee is right - the "squint around this environment till you find the one portalable surface" stuff got old really quickly.

It wasn't bad, but it wasn't as perfect as Portal 1.

To be honest, the funniest bits were in the trailers.
 

Furore23

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Feb 9, 2010
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I think I understand Yahtzee's beef with Portal's fans. You see, I was there.

A few years ago, the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) in Melbourne hosted a video game exhibition. And there were free public lectures presented by the museum. Mr Croshaw was a guest speaker. The lectures were pretty packed. Only a couple hundred people could fit in the room, and roughly three times as many people wanted in. So, the hardworking staff, some of them volunteers helping out on the weekend, tried to funnel an overcapacity crowd through their facility. They handled themselves with grace, courtesy, and elegance.

Less so the crowd. I got into the afternoon lecture. It was cool! TV personalities and game design types, and we got a great panel discussion of game criticism and whatnot. But.

But, a mob of feral fanboys chose to hammer on the glass doors and whoop it up. You see, Yahtzee was fresh, new, popular! So it was necessary to make him unpopular with the venues that might choose to host him again one day.

And that's not even the worst! As we were filed out of the hall, a mob of around 150 dickheads, all clogging the foyer area and the reception desk where the lovely staff were trying to work - helping out visitors, directing people to the toilets, explaining the exhibits - well, they decided to start singing.

One or two selfish idiots kicked it off. "This was a triumph" they began to drone in their hideously untrained nerd-quack. See, a couple of them had caught sight of Ben Croshaw, who had not that long before flashed a "Best Game EVAR!" caption on one of his video reviews. So, clearly he was yearning to be barked at, for almost five minutes, by a herd of dribbling morons.

I remember standing aside, and chatting to a buddy, commenting on the display of fuckery unfolding. She was all: "Oh, they're just excited". But I had to break it down for her.

You're a nerd, right? That's why you like this stuff. Now, recall times in YOUR life when you have been affronted by, say, mobs of drunken arseholes bellowing at each other of their excitement about the latest sports event in their lives. They take over the public space - street, pub, train, whatever. And they FORCE you to listen to them. You can't ignore them, you can't even move past them to your chosen destination. They are being DICKS.

And that's what was going on that day at ACMI. Gamers, geeks, the crowd that should be proud to be different, were making utter bastards of themselves, bringing shame upon everyone around.

I caught sight of Mr Croshaw's face several times during the lecture, and afterwards, and he seriously looked like he was regretting his career decisions to date. I think we're lucky he decided to carry on with ZP and the Mana Bar and anything else he has going on, because the fans almost killed the joy for him that day.
 

zombiekiller1907

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CaptainCash said:
I hope they make Half life 2 episode 3 FIRST before portal 3 if they decide to make another portal game.
i agree with you, i've been waiting for episode 3 for a long time now.....
 

Skoosh

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Jun 19, 2009
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Yahtzee sounds a bit like a videogame hipster in this review. At least he admits he'd be salivating over it if it didn't have to be compared with the first, but still...
 

Voiles

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Feb 28, 2011
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Some parts I agree with, and others I don't.

Yahtzee always has some very interesting views, and for the most part I share them. But the idea of Portal 2 was astounding to me, and I loved every bit of it..
Well, almost every bit.

The parts in between test chambers could drag to a lull for a bit..Just because on little part of "port-able" wall was hidden just around a corner.

and, that ^^^ is the thing I agree with on Yahtzee's review..

I don't remember what else he said, as I watched this earlier this afternoon!

Either way!

I loved it! Both this review and the game!
 

Somebloke

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Aug 5, 2010
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Jaime_Wolf said:
...
There are too many sequences where you have to try to find portal surfaces and where the path forward is difficult to find, yet the game is too hand-holdy by giving you directions? These things cannot both be true.
...
Yes they can.
Leaving you with only one potential option to progress, funnels you directly in the right direction once you spot that one portalable surface in a vast space, which quickly makes it a good old hunt-the-pixel exercise, as opposed to problem solving.
 

Sixcess

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Feb 27, 2010
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I really hope that this video doesn't turn into the banner around which the anti-meme crowd rally. If there's one thing more tiresome than people spouting Portal memes it's people going on about how boring and overused Portal's memes are.

Sure, the jokes got beaten to death through overuse, but when has that not happened on the internet?

Besides, people didn't start overquoting Portal because they were brainwashed into it by some cabal on 4chan. People started overquoting Portal because it's very very quotable. In fact, to quote Yahtzee himself...

"Sometimes things are popular for a reason. Because they're GOOD."
 

Sabinfrost

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Mar 2, 2011
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Even more justification for Activison to make Space C.O.D.

Yahtzee will consider it an improvement.
 

Pacerman

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Nov 18, 2009
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I disagree that Portal 1 was better. The more environmental and less "puzzley" bits broke up the usual monotony of exit elevator, solve puzzle, enter elevator. I'l admit it would have been nice if they were more open ended, giving the scenery based areas multiple solutions and leaving the 1-2 strict solutions to the test chambers. Plus, now that we have co-op, maybe now we can add what the game really needs, a vs mode!

I wont say it's better in every way, Portal 1 was like a shiny diamond, nearly perfect in every way. Portal 2 is more like a giant block of gold, who's total value is higher then that of the smaller diamond.
 

Naeras

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Mar 1, 2011
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Pretty much exactly what I expected Yahtzee to say in this review. i r psychic.
Also, at least one of the jokes in the video made me giggle loudly. gg.
 

pokepuke

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Dec 28, 2010
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Jaime_Wolf said:
Also, most of the people talking about how "easy" the puzzles were need to (a) go back and play Portal and (b) realize how the puzzle design has shifted focus.
From easy to easier, but with a bag of tricks, which means that it is even worse than in Portal 1 because you barely get past the tutorials for any of them and this spreads right through to the end of the game. At least the first game got past that stage, even if only slightly. Considering how the only majors complaints about Portal 1 seemed to be how short and how easy it was, it seems pretty brain-dead of Valve to ignore 50% of that.

People are not remembering how easy the overwhelming majority of puzzles were in Portal.
Wait, so which is it? The puzzle design has "shifted focus" but is easy just like the first game? Talk about invalid complaints...

Most of the "hard" puzzles in Portal were reflex tests, forcing you to fly through and quickly place a number of portals while carefully controlling your falls.
First of all here, this is untrue. Maybe you should (a) go back and play Portal.

The puzzles were simply different then: more complex and open ended. They cheaped out in 2 by making everything shiny-textured, meaning no portals. 1 had more freedom and often multiple ways to solve puzzles, which even though was sometimes unintentional it meant that you were doing what the game was teaching you: thinking with portals.

The other change was getting rid of energy balls. The lasers were boring. Targeting from point A to point B is far more simple. They completely eliminated a layer of complexity from the game: timing. No more moving platforms or requiring multiple switches. The only puzzle I remember that imposed a small window of time was the chamber with the blue gel and the water constantly falling on the square. And unfortunately they put an invisible ceiling that prevented me from simply bouncing up to the roof, which would have been a nice personal achievement.

Actually, that upper area was one of the extremely few times that the game didn't completely point to where you needed to go or shoot and it deviated from the path a bit, if only slightly, by making you backtrack 20 feet, in lieu of absolutely linearity. Such a thing was welcome, and I think both games could have benefited from more of this, but especially 2.

They were difficult from a platforming perspective rather than a puzzle perspective.
And to hammer in the point some more, you demonstrate how they removed something that people may have actually liked. Do you not even see that platforming elements are integral both Portal 1 and 2? In fact, I'd say there are even more platforming segments in Portal 2, but unfortunately they are limited in both form and to being outside of puzzle chamber areas. Once again, less complexity.

Portal 2 did away with most of the reflex-testing and actually added some complexity to the puzzles.
And you demonstrated this point so well.

Also, you have to consider that you had no prior training with the gameplay mechanics going into Portal whereas you have potentially an entire game's background going into Portal 2.
Yet they made the game for beginners.

As for the linearity of the puzzles, I don't even know what to say. You went through a NUMBERED SEQUENCE in Portal. Portal 2 isn't any less linear, but I don't really see how it is (or really could be) more linear.
Another invalid complaint. Try reading your own phrase again: linearity of the puzzles. The puzzles. They themselves were linear. Most of them were just fixing each individual area in the chamber to be able to do something in the other part of the chamber. This isn't wanted "complexity", this sounds more like Wheatley jamming two test chambers into one. And he wasn't the smartest sphere around.

And I flat-out do not understand some of his complaints in the video. There are too many sequences where you have to try to find portal surfaces and where the path forward is difficult to find, yet the game is too hand-holdy by giving you directions? These things cannot both be true.
Okay, you're right and wrong, but still wrong on both parts. Maybe those parts aren't so much holding your hand as it is slapping your hand when you go where the designers don't intend for to go, making it just a process of elimination.

As for actual hand holding: remember all the markers? All over the place there were circles with Xs in them, deliberately solving half the puzzle for you. Then the other half was often just finding the white patch of panels between your current location and the exit.

Also, he never actually said it was difficult to find the next path. He just said you have to hunt for the patch on the wall. Yeah.

And given the story, wouldn't you expect the game to point you in the right directions since it's part of a controlled laboratory test?
Except large parts of the game were not part of any test. So which is it? These things cannot both be true.

It would have been nice to see him stress more how great a game it is and also mention how it can't quite live up to the predecessor rather than the opposite stressing. This feels vaguely dishonest - if you realise that your review is being biased by comparison to the predecessor, you should try to avoid that bias, not embrace it.
Well the reality is that Portal 1 exists, and that Portal 2 is a sequel. Remember the Fallout: New Vegas video? Remember the Mario Galaxy 2 video? If the games are similar enough, then the focus is different, rather than rehashing all the points that already exist from the first game. Comparing the sequel to the first game is the easiest out, and it seems that was done here specifically to do justice to the game. Instead of going on a rant about it being a sequel or the same game with a marketable numeral grafted on to the title, he gave his overall opinion and explained the differences and what he thought was better or worse this time around. The lack of anachronistic placement of subjects is of little import; he still got the necessary words out.