Zero Punctuation: Quantum Conundrum

[gamegod25]

I was hoping for a full review to give SB:Heavy Armor the thrashing it deserves but I guess when a games is practically unplayable really what more can you say?

 

[snowfi6916]

And then every brony went out and bought the game to hear John De Lancie speak some more. =P

Excellent review as always Yahtzee. Just a shame you didn't mention De Lancie's Discord role, although to be fair he is more famous for Q.

 

[jdogtwodolla]

Too bad the charm of John De Lancie didn't transfer over to Assassins Creed.

 

[ADDLibrarian]

CONGRATULATIONS YAHTZEE FOR DOING A REVIEW FOR EVERY LETTER OF THE ALPHABET! YAAAAAAAAY!
*Celebrate*

 

[Evil Smurf]

let us egg the cunty cottage!

 

[RvLeshrac]

When yahtzee said he didn't like it I nearly got lockjaw. I guess I'm avoiding this game, then. It looked like the exact thing he would like, too. Then again, yahtzee is the toughest critic in the world, so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. I was not expecting him to hate it though. I mean, wow. The gameplay videos looked so good too.

And this is what's wrong with Yahtzee's fanboys. All it takes is for him to express his disapproval towards a game and every facet of YOUR opinion goes out the window. You're doing the exact thing he blasted against in the Mailbox Showdown. You wait for a simple "Yay" or "Nay" and toss out every bit of free will you have if it conflicts with your ideas.

I find Yahtzee's taste in games to be similar to my own. If he dislikes a game, I'm probably going to dislike it. If he likes a game, I'm probably going to like it. If I know he dislikes a particular genre that I'm OK with, I'll ignore his opinion on that genre.

That's exactly what Racecarlock is saying: "I thought Yahtzee would like this, because this is the kind of game he likes. Since he doesn't like it, it must be pretty bad, therefore I'm probably not going to like it, and I'm not going to spend money THAT I CANNOT EVER GET BACK to find out."

 

[5ilver]

Honestly, that guy *does* sound like a ****. I would insult and mock him as well.

 

[MagmaMan]

I was personally hoping he'd review Amazing Spider-Man. I realize movie games really aren't his thing but he said before that Spider-Man 2 was "fucking awesome" and I'm quite interested to see what his say on the new game.

 

[KICdude]

I feel that just because some peoples discussion can really be capsized by saying 'Yahtzee thought it was good, then I must also'. I personally don't play all the games that come out because I don't have that much of a disposable income. If we all think genuinely, we can actually live life not seeking an agreement with someone who can't see you (not yet at least). I have nothing against watching these videos (in fact I encourage it),but slander is not needed, because even if you hate Yahtzee's guts giving him hate comments just isn't gonna make you stand out any more. It actually counts as a view for him. So he wins no matter what.

I like Yahtzee's work because its an unwind from a week of work. I do a similar thing and I say that he deserves respect for what he does. Yahtzee has allot of torque under the hood. I need to say that he is by far one of the best reviewer/analizer I've seen very funny, and very handy with the programs he uses.

Yahtzee awesome work let your exploits be seen.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

I was hoping for a full review to give SB:Heavy Armor the thrashing it deserves but I guess when a games is practically unplayable really what more can you say?

Not getting reviewed is more than it deserves.

 

[uneek]

Despite being negative, it still made me interested in checking out the game.

Other reviewers, take note. This is how it's done.

 

[Roman Monaghan]

CONGRATULATIONS YAHTZEE FOR DOING A REVIEW FOR EVERY LETTER OF THE ALPHABET! YAAAAAAAAY!
*Celebrate*

Holy crap I think you're right. Awesome.

 

[Overquoted]

Suprisingly enough, a ZP review that's actually accurate. It's a charming game with some nice elements, but the platforming is annoying to all hell, the physics are mildly erratic and the whole thing is repetitive and same-y. I respect what the game is trying to do and I wish more games would try similar things, but that doesn't mean it's particularly good.

Yeah, agreed. They tried to make a joke about why the environments were "samey" by creating Dolly, the replicating machine, but after a while, it fell flat. Also the jokes where the uncle specifically complained that everything looked the same. That said, it was better than nothing at all, I suppose.

The first-person platforming nearly had my head exploding. Most aggravating thing in a game. Doesn't help that I'm primarily a console user. Finally gave up on the slow-mo crawl across rows of flying furniture and grabbed Motion in Joy to turn my PS3 controller into an emulated Xbox controller to use on Steam. *facepalms* But even then, the weird angles of the moving platforms themselves combined with the lack of feet meant I'd die in half or more of the levels.

Most of the puzzles were decent, though few if any were head-scratchers the way Portal 2 could be. Often when I had a problem with the puzzle, it was simply that I'd gotten the angle of a throw wrong. Even managed to grab some collectibles in totally bizarre and much harder ways than the creators intended.

 

[Overquoted]

The fact that console developers aim to make consoles more PC like with multiple usage (I personally think this is a mistake). You can argue that "it is cheaper", but what are you buying? I flashy unmodifiable computer with limited usage. It's like a mac, except even more useless. You can't modify it and if a part fails, you have to ship off the entire thing, not matter how minor this issue is because consoles are not designed to be easily repaired.

I also challenge your assertion that PCs are the cause of shitty gameplay and story. Dead Space 3 money issues are the result of the monkey management at EA where making a buck has become the primary objective. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make money, but you should focus on making a good product, not squeezing IP for all it is worth with DLC and shit. Also, the limits of the consoles control make for massive limitations in gameplay. I hated what happened to The Witcher 2. The inventory was nice and neat in the first game and I could use that mouse to move around and prioritize my attacks. Instead, I have to rely on auto aim and mash the left mouse button until everything dies and my inventory is just a giant list of stuff. Why? Because it was easier to program this on the XBOX360.

Oh, and if you have a lame computer, you can always lower the settings to what they would be on a console.

The Mac comparison is apt, but I'm going to beat a dead horse and add my two cents. The console vs. PC debate is closer to the iPhone vs. Android debate. Each user of each OS loves it for entirely opposing reasons. Apple has a closed system which makes it simple and easy to use. You don't have to "make it work." Android is highly modifiable meaning you can almost get it to do whatever you want. I'm a PS3-lover and I avoid Apple like the plague. I'll gladly spend several weeks making a new Android phone work however I want, customizing it to the nth degree, but when it comes to games, I just want the game to play from the second I unwrap the plastic.

Some of the later arguments in this thread, mostly concerning money, kind of miss the point. What you see as a waste of money because of more expensive games, we console owners see as an investment in time. We don't *have* to patch a game, and often on the PS3, there isn't much in the way of installation. But a new PC game can often mean hours of tinkering to find what setting has thrown off your system. And when it comes to games, I just don't feel like it. I'd rather pop it in and press play, maybe watch The Daily Show if it requires an installation.

Plus, what we lose in games, we save on hardware costs. Four years after buying my PS3, and the only thing I've had to replace was the hard drive, and that was optional. My desktop PC on the other hand? Multiple incarnations over the years. Always having to upgrade or add components to run the latest games. My PS3 simply runs them, no modification necessary, no additional costs down the line. It's fixed-cost vs. variable-cost.

But mostly it's iPhone vs. Android.

 

[RvLeshrac]

WORDS

Yes, but he's not just saying "This setting is retarded" or whatever entertaining bullshit, he's saying "The game mechanics are fundamentally broken."

 

[JasonKaotic]

I laughed way harder than I should have at the end...

Captcha: mum's the word
Okay, Captcha's never made sense but this is just ridiculous.

 

[Spud of Doom]

Nice one here. This is the Yahtzee we come here to see.

 

[Mydnyght]

All I got out of that video is this:
Yahtzee doesn't give half a fuck that he finally reviewed a game whose title starts with Q and that the Zero Punctuation Alphabet is now complete.

Almost, 'X' is technically "XBLA Double Bill [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/222-XBLA-Double-Bill]" rather then an individual game.

Actually I was thinking of X-Blades, but that too was on a technicality.
It was Graham Stark reviewing it before Yahtzee ejected him to review HALO Wars.
Presumably for April Fool's '09.