Zero Punctuation: Saints Row: The Third

[Aureliano]

Hah, at the end where he was summarizing that the game has become a sold-out parody of it's former self I was expecting him to draw an introspective parallel with himself and this show.


Alas, I was disappointed.

I have to suspect, given the quality of the writing in SR:TT, that they actually are excruciatingly aware of their having sold out. And that they're doing the best they can to have fun with the boundaries they have.

Yahtzee on the other hand seems like he's having less fun, but I'm not sure it's due to having sold out. I think he's just bored. In particular, I can only imagine that shooter season 2011 is as depressing as it sounds for a reviewer who does not seem to really enjoy brown FPS games in the first place.

Edit: Besides, what does it mean for Yahtzee to sell out? Unless, as I can only hope, he was lying about enjoying Skyrim he's probably still giving honest reviews and pointing out what he perceives as the real flaws in games. At worst, he just doesn't get to pick all the games he reviews anymore. Which is just part of having a job.

 

[TyrantGanado]

So the standard method of navigating Steelport is lifted verbatim from my interpretation of Panua's national transit grid? Only minus the grapple hook and infinity parachutes. And Antonio Banderas expy of a protagonist.

I'll stick to Just Cause 2 for sandbox mayhem then...

 

[DarkhoIlow]

Although I got a few chuckles in this vid,I can personally say that I do not agree with you Mr.Croshaw.

The devs have taken out quite a lot of "fun" activities from SR2 which could of been implemented in the third installment,but I enjoyed the game nonetheless,even with it's cheesy storyline.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

I got the game pretty early... but I just had it in the bookshelf, because it looked neat next to Irvine Welsh's PORNO... and SKYRIM sucked me dry of spare playing time.

When I finally got around to play it, I felt an urge to not do so on the monitor, but the TV, and do things wirelessly, so we could all have some fun watching Saint's Row the Third on the biggest screen in the household. Needless to say, hilarity ensued. It's just way over the top. Take GTA (IV, if you will), spice it up with CRANK (the first one, preferrably) and shake. Voila.

We did about three missions before we just went for the cheats, customized the poor player character in more ways than we ever managed in many years of handling Barbies and Masters of the Universe. Yes, in this one particular game I actually like player customization. It's so messed up and insane it should be used by therapists, and it should be paid for by health insurance companies.

I know by now that I feel just about no urge at all to ever finish Saints Row the Third. I just boot it up, go insane and then feel a strange comfort in having a decent, normal life most of the time. Probably that's the kick some people get out of shooting up Heroin or smoking crack cocaine, without the health hazards.

 

[cassiebearRAWR]

FYI, the correct word for "person who identifies as something other than man or woman" is genderqueer, not transsexual. Transsexuals generally live and identify strictly as men/male or women/female... just opposite whatever they were born as.

The More You Know!

Not necessarily, sorry.

Care to expand on that?

 

[similar.squirrel]

This made me realize that I must purchase Saints Row 2 over the oh-so-distant summer. Don't know why I haven't done so yet, actually. Always assumed it was some kind of gangsta-simulator whenever I saw the box-art, I guess.

Don't judge a book and all of that..

 

[gphjr14]

Main thing that annoys me is the fact they took side missions from SR2 and forced them in as story missions.

The game is still loads of fun but there's a lot of "buts" behind it.

Also note those who have the PS3 version can use their online pass to download SR2 free.

And it's not like the assholes at ubisoft who make you download 7GB and you still need the disc to play AC1.

 

[WolfThomas]

I've noticed a lot of people have missed the bit where he begrudgingly admitted it was fun. I'm mixed about the game, I love some of the new stuff, miss the old stuff. But still being able to fly my hoverbike to the zombie infested island land on a grain silo and snipe zombies with a .50cal is pretty fun.

I think the next Saints needs to be more audacious rather than wacky. Like the Saints invade a South American country to set up their own nation. Seeing Saints branded Tanks rolling into a massive battle would be awesoome.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

It seems developers these days don't have the slightest clue how a sequel is supposed to work. Like isn't a sequel supposed to improve on the previous one not detract from it?

 

[Valoric]

Off topic but if any Ozzy wants to buy Yahtzee's Mogworld for Xmas, GO TO THENILE.

Here's the HL: http://www.thenile.com.au/books/Yahtzee-Croshaw/Mogworld/9781595825292/

Thought I'd finally check this out. Wanted to read it for soooo long but couldn't be arsed to go through Amazon.

PS. FREE SHIPPING for Xmas! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

From what I hear, a lot of the content was cut to be repackaged as DLC, which you will be charged for.

 

[drosalion]

I do find it amusing that only just a few days ago he wrote a column complaining about Skyrim's character creation being too complex and pointless having too many options, and then just now complains about SR3's being too simple and that he cant tilt his bowler's hat in a particular direction. That being said i played SR3 and agree with practically everything he said in this review, and this is probably the first time where for me atleast it rang true as a genuine review as opposed to a satirical hate-filled entertainment piece as every point he mad is spot on.

 

[Something Amyss]

Care to expand on that?

What, particularly is in need of expansion here?

 

[ace_of_something]

Am I the only one who thought that Stilwater was more like San Francisco than NYC?

Maybe I'm crazy.

 

[tripp36]

Theres so much more needed to be said i think the video could have been longer...i love SR2 and SR3 isn't bad...but it has less contend and half the stuff there trying to sell you was ALREADY on the disc...

thing i miss the most is having fist fights with the cops im getting so tired of being shot at...

 

[Laxman9292]

Ha! Nice little callback at the end.

Anyway, yeah, something I noticed about SR3 (without even playing it, mind) was that it was trying to hard to be "wacky."

If the very first shop you enter lets you buy a nine-foot dildo (along more conventional weapons, mind) then they're basically just giving you things they find hilarious, not letting you find your own hilarity.

Ideally "the penetrator" should be a hard-to-find weapon in a fetish shop that needs to be hunted down.

It should be like a Dead Rising thing:
"Hum de dum, oh a new store, let me check it out."
"Oh, I can buy leather gear, that's kind of funny I guess, maybe I'll buy a..."
"what's that in the corner, it looks like a dildo but..."
"what, I can pick it up? Swing it around"
"Ha! What will it do to this pedestrian! OMG this is awesome!"


It's a lot less funny when they just hand it to you at the start.

Besides, it's a shame you can't make a fat gangster anymore.

First, don't judge a game you haven't played. You're just putting out reasons other people like or don't like the game without forming an original opinion of your own. Instead you're putting out an opinion that you haven't verified and you might disagree with had you actually played it. That being said there are bunch of unlockable and hard to reach stuff.

Spoiler

toilet mode, jet bike, mega buster arm canon, Atari 2600 style tank from Combat, hovercraft/jet, upgrade system, upgrade guns, gun that letsyou remotely control and detonate peoples cars, gravity hammer-esq weapon, zombie follower, burt reynolds follower, car with Gat's head as the front with a cig in his mouth acting as a flamethrower, car that sucks up pedestrians allowing you to shoot them out of its mounted cannon, customize cars, customize strongholds, gloves that make people explode when you punch them, tron guns, and many more.

And as far as the helicopters and all that goes. It makes sense in the context of the game. The Saints are millionaires in control of the Ultor corporation, now Saints Ultor, from the end of the last game. They have comic books, fans, movie deals, energy drink deals. Their HQ is in Stillwater though but they have pretty unlimited resources from being in control of a multimillion dollar corporation. Why wouldn't they have a fleet of helis? Just like any massive company.

 

[shadyh8er]

*deep breath*

OHMIGODHEUSEDASILHOUETTEOFATLANTATHAT'SSOCOOL!

Spoiler: Translation

Oh my god he used a silhouette of Atlanta that's so cool!

Why yes I'm from Atlanta, how did you guess?

 

[Kapol]

I much prefered Saints Row 3 over Saints Row 2. Saints Row 2 did have much better pacing, I'll agree to that much. And the story actually did mean something instead of just random skips all over the place. But I had so much more pure, blind fun with 3. I really didn't care for 2 that much. There were way too many freaking side jobs, most of which weren't very good if you ask me. And the problem is you didn't know which of those would give you a good reward and which would be BS.

SR3, on the other hand, had me play through every single job, some multiple times. I loved the Genki bits. Though I do agree that lack of context other then Pierce telling you to go to the first one made it a bit pointless overall.

One more thing that was never mentioned that I greatly prefered about 3 was the leveling system. I loved the way it was handled where you could choose your abilities and use money you earned to pay for them. But they were more then a little overpowered... you could literally get infinite ammo for all weapons and become immune to all types of damage. The game becomes boring after that point. I also liked the way the hourly income could be accessed at any time using the in-game phone.