Zero Punctuation: Shadow of the Colossus

[blackdwarf]

i bought this 6 months ago. it was all scratched and there was a chance it wouldn't work, but i let someone repair it.(two times, because it didn't work the first time) and when i finally played..... the first ten minutes were weird. the controls were weird, but when i finally came to the first collossus........ OH MY GOD!!!!!! I HAVE TO FIGHT THAT!!!!
yahtzee, everhing you said is true. i totall agree with you.

 

[SnipErlite]

Hell yeah. One of my favourite games of all time...it really is epic ^_^

 

[Nemesis729]

I would have been disappointed that he didn't review SC2 if it was almost any other game, But SotC kicks ass lol

 

[rsvp42]

I dunno, I get that you don't feel like reviewing Starcraft 2. Whatever. Not your cuppa' tea, that's perfectly fine. But why keep bringing it up? Surely not because the fans keep commenting on it? Since when have you given a crap about that? Personally, I'd prefer that you just review the games you want to review and let the chips fall where they may.

I like Starcraft. I like Starcraft 2. What I don't like is people adding fuel to the retarded fire that is the hate for Starcraft and Blizzard. Half of it is anti-populist bullshit for the sake of anti-populism, and the rest is just overblown opinions repeated ad nauseam. A bunch of people raving about a good game is perfectly acceptable, but people complaining about a good game is just grating. And I say that because negativity for negativity's sake sucks, not because I happen to like Starcraft.

 

[Warforger]

Oh wow, you're no higher than gold, are you? Spam the best unit? Yeah, don't worry about scouting, adapting, positioning, cheesing, harassing, expanding, denying, sniping, hiding, or countering, just mass Stalkers every single game. You're guaranteed to win, right?! Come back when you're Diamond, and I /might/ take you seriously.

Positioning? Ha. Funny. The rest are all aspects of spamming the best unit. Fuck I was good at Warhammer 40k TT and Chess but when I got on DoW all everyone was talking about was what unit was the best to spam.

You have to use tactical thinking, fight for map control and preserve your units in Dawn of war. Same with starcraft but you can afford to lose troops if you did more resources in damage to your opponent. I don't know what games you are playing.

Yah which is like the first or second tier. Let's put it like this, if you lose one squad of Space Marines in DoW, is it that devastating? No you can just build more. You could throw away an army then build another one while the enemy is walking towards your base.

That claim is laughable at best. Especially in the face of games like World In Conflict or Ground Control.

 

[MagnusTW]

Yahtzee, thank you so much for this review. I love seeing the praiseworthy praised, especially when the praise comes from as tough (and I think fair) a critic as you. I'm a huge StarCraft II fan, but I'm so glad you didn't review it this week. Thank you very much for reviewing Shadow of the Colossus instead. It summons so many good memories that it almost brings a tear to my eye, and I'll take even the tiniest hints of nostalgic reminiscence when it comes to my most beloved of all games. So, again, thanks.

 

[JayJayinMay]

Wait..was this a review of Shadow of the Collossus or Ico?I got confused.

 

[TheBaron87]

talky talky

This whole review and the comments regarding both games hit you pretty close to home, huh? That's a good essay you've got going on there.

I like to have some substance in my posts. If I'm going to say something I might as well say it well.

"snip

Excellent responses. This is the first refreshing post I've read on this site since SC2 came out. If you want to practice a bit vs Zerg, message me and I'll give you my ID. I'm low-mid diamond, though I haven't worked back up to that yet in retail.

I don't care who adds me, I'll take anybody on. If you troll I'll just block you anyway. TheBaron#559 You'll see I've only played 2v2. I don't consider anything but 1v1 to be something that can be taken seriously as a competitive mode, but my friend always wants to play with me so that's what I end up doing. I'm using it to practice so I can get into good habits before my 1v1 record is on the line.

Oh wow, you're no higher than gold, are you? Spam the best unit? Yeah, don't worry about scouting, adapting, positioning, cheesing, harassing, expanding, denying, sniping, hiding, or countering, just mass Stalkers every single game. You're guaranteed to win, right?! Come back when you're Diamond, and I /might/ take you seriously.

Positioning? Ha. Funny. The rest are all aspects of spamming the best unit. Fuck I was good at Warhammer 40k TT and Chess but when I got on DoW all everyone was talking about was what unit was the best to spam.

You realize that the vast, VAST majority of people playing SC2 absolutely suck at it, right? They might have potential, but even a ton of people that still play Starcraft 1 have no idea how to play. You can't base a game's depth off how its worst players play. The only reason tabletop games don't have "spamming units" is because the sort of casual players that actually expect that sort of thing to work anywhere above bronze won't make the commitment to pay for all the crap needed to play tabletop. Dawn of War is not a bad game, you're just straw-manning it based on its worst players.

You have to use tactical thinking, fight for map control and preserve your units in Dawn of war. Same with starcraft but you can afford to lose troops if you did more resources in damage to your opponent. I don't know what games you are playing.

Yah which is like the first or second tier. Let's put it like this, if you lose one squad of Space Marines in DoW, is it that devastating? No you can just build more. You could throw away an army then build another one while the enemy is walking towards your base.

That claim is laughable at best. Especially in the face of games like World In Conflict or Ground Control.

Seriously? Re-read what you just typed, and tell me how a game would ever end if every time you lose your army you could just "build another one while the enemy is walking towards your base." Losing military units without inflicting comparable damage leaves an opening in your defenses, which must be addressed by focusing on military production which harms the rate of economic growth, or taking the chance of not focusing on production which risks a counter-attack that can REDUCE your economy, giving the opponent a long-term advantage. It also shrinks the size of your future army while leaving the opponent's army the same size, which he can continue to bolster to remain at a military advantage and contain you while he expands, or he can expand immediately without risk of being overpowered, either way putting you at a long-term disadvantage that can cost the game. Only a fool would charge straight into an enemy base after a close victory and hit the rebuilt army. Any decent player would use the victory to establish map control and deny expansion while he secures the lead. You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Have fun staying in Bronze forever.

ON TOPIC: What's everybody's favorite colossus? 9 (Turtle), 10 (Sandworm), or 13 (Dragon) here.

 

[Exia91]

Very nice episode there, Mr Yahtzee! Finally you let go of the penii-jokes for one episode and tome, you have sky-rocketed back to you old throne, right atop the Biggest Collossus with the Green beard made of Leaves and Vines.

More of this! Damn damn damn good dman..good.

 

[QUINTIX]

On topic, its odd how Yahtzee's description of the Collosus made me think about some of the Monsters you get to fight at later stages in Monster Hunter. Sorry if i set down some firewood, i'll just leave it at that.

Let's get off the SC2 high horse and deal with the fact that some one compared SOTC to Monster Hunter.
Let's start here: platforming combat > bonking things on teh head with Excel Spreadsheet stats.

 

[Firia]

I own the game, but have not played it... I'm sorry! x_x I've been sucked into another game, and my ignorance prevents me from plugging this game in to see what all the hubbub is about.

 

[Michael Ellis]

Pfft, I'd like to see what he's got against Onimusha of all things...

 

[IronyIsGood]

I'm going to go see if I can find a copy.

 

[Lust]

After watching his Limbo review, I actually kinda saw this one coming.

Great review, anyways.

Also, I didn't know that there was lizards you could shoot to increase your grip gauge.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

I guess its best not to review many good games so thats why he is avoiding SC2.

 

[LooseNugget]

Soooo....is it any good?

 

[LooseNugget]

@Firia

Dude, get ON that. It's an awesome game and I'm still pissed that my ps2 hurked up a good one while it was in the drive. Scratched the hell out of the game

 

[Mullahgrrl]

I hope he does victoria 2 when its released.

 

[WaderiAAA]

I can't remember the last review that was this positive to the game, but it still is one of the funniest reviews in ages.

 

[PTSpyder]

Thank god we finally got to get yahtzee's opinion, which he had already made perfectly clear countless times before, about an over hyped, half a decade old title that quite frankly fucking sucked ass. That's right everyone, it sucked.

The title alone was boring enough and did nothing to inspire players to rush out there and pick it up. From the damn title alone you got the feeling that this thing would be there for a long, long time and could be picked up whenever. The controls were not laid out well, the world had dyslexia when it came to pacing, and the boss fights were boring. GREATEST GAME EVER!!1! No, just the most over hyped game ever. Stop praising mediocrity.