Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

[Thick]

Star Wars is still a good franchise.

All you have to do is remove EVERYTHING that Lucas had directorial control over.

Leaving you with Star Wars, Empire, bits of Return and a few other good bits from the novels. Maybe the original RPG.
Oh, but remember it's the original, not the Enhanced versions.

Oh, and Tie Fighter.

The rest is ejaculate.

Actually, just get Joseph Campbell and Jim Henson and give them light sabres. That's the good part of Star Wars.

The game? I deleted it after a minute playing the demo. What a waste of time.

You can't make a statement like "it's still a good franchise" and then ignore a ton of the material that makes up the franchise.

That's dangerously close to the definition of denial. Thanks for proving his point.

 

[Jaythulhu]

I am a massive Star Wars fan (probably one of the largest) and i have to say that this thing does for video games what The Star Wars Holiday Special did for movies, sadly.

I love the Holiday Special! I even converted my old betamax tape of it to dvd. It's the perfect thing for clearing a house of guests when you've had enough of them and want to go watch porn play a game. Who doesn't find a coked-up Carrier Fischer tripping over a table funny?

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I still love Star Wars tho, for all the shit it's gotten itself mired in. Two of my fondest childhood memories are seeing Empire and Return in the cinema with my dad. I've still got the complete X-Wing comic and novel series too, and constantly re-read them.

 

[internetzealot1]

Add Rogue Squadron to that list, Yahtzee. And yes, people do still like Star Wars (Although its starting to get milked like Mario with the success rate of Madden.)

 

[NoDamnNames]

So Starwars rips off the DUNE book series yet again, with "starkiller" plagiarizing from the Duncan Idaho Ghola story line.

Sad hardly anyone but me and George Lucas know about this with Frank Herbert over 20 years dead.


Yes Lucas, I know the truth!

 

[Sinbeans]

This made my day.

 

[Mathew Hay]

I am a massive Star Wars fan (probably one of the largest) and i have to say that this thing does for video games what The Star Wars Holiday Special did for movies, sadly.

I love the Holiday Special! I even converted my old betamax tape of it to dvd. It's the perfect thing for clearing a house of guests when you've had enough of them and want to go watch porn play a game. Who doesn't find a coked-up Carrier Fischer tripping over a table funny?

--------------

I still love Star Wars tho, for all the shit it's gotten itself mired in. Two of my fondest childhood memories are seeing Empire and Return in the cinema with my dad. I've still got the complete X-Wing comic and novel series too, and constantly re-read them.

I still love star wars to but what i mean is that it takes away some of our respect and we need all the respect we can get

 

[Tonythion]

I am die hard fan of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return on the Jedi and The Phantom Menace...and the last one only because it had Qui-Gon Jin and Darth Maul. Everything else that has come out with the name Star Wars on it can all go to shit.

I played TFO for like three minutes before I gave up. There is only so much fun you could have with trying to find new ways to kill something. So I'll take Yahtzee's word for it and not even rent the damn thing. I swear the love between Aniken and Amidala is exactly as he says..two chairs going at it. FANBOY RANT OVER.

 

[Blackout62]

Ah yes, a Burton with BOA laces. Good choice in snowboard boot Mr. Yahtzee.

 

[CopperBoom]

I like Star Wars...

...
...
...
...
...yeah.

 

[Orinon]

I really hated the Prequels, the first one was good but the other two sucked. amusing thing is Liam Neeson was Qui Gon Jinn, so they do one thing right and the series immediately becomes shit the minute Leam Neeson is gone, I'm not kidding the movies suck when they aren't either fighting or if Liam Neeson is onscreen even in phantom Menace (Qui Gon leaves to bargain with that blue guy Watto, and they immediately have 8 year old anakin start flirting with Padme, the seeds of love.) While on that topic in the Prequal series you could replace the word love with massive brain damage.
Example:
Anakin thinks Padme is going to die so he joins the Dark side because he loves her.
Anakin thinks Padme is going to die so he joins the Dark side because he has massive brain damage.
It works

 

[L4Y Duke]

So... that's a 'dislike' is it?

And I agree. KotOR is possibly another good Star Wars spinoff. As a series, it's had it's high points and low points.

The first was the high point, the second the low point. Apparently.

 

[WayOutThere]

Wait wait wait Yahtzee. You listed "Super Star Wars" as shit? You can't be serious.

 

[Mydnyght]

"Darth Vader is the giant black cockend Lucasarts is sticking up your butt and you love it"

Well put, Yahtzee. Nothing else needs to be said for those Star Wars fanboys.

 

[Netrigan]

Honestly didn't have a huge problem with the first. However as soon as I heard the plot was, "Vader decides to clone Starkiller" My head hit the desk and I vowed not to get this game.

Pretty much my reaction. I think it could have been pretty cool if they had followed the Dark Side ending and create an alternate time-line... and even then it probably would copped out and been the original Star Wars trilogy with Starkiller in the role of villain.

First Force Unleased game was okay. You were over-powered which led to the development of all sorts of super-Stormtroopers that probably would have come in handy against the Rebels, but game-wise it evened out to a decent challenge level and the story held my interest even if it didn't make sense with anything else in the Saga.

The demo for FU2 pretty much promised a crappy story and no challenge, so I wasn't even tempted to pick this one up.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Snip

Did you play this game on the Wii like last time or did you go with the 360/PS3 one (as I assume you did)? Ironically, from what I understand from other reviewers that burned the HD console port to a crisp, that the game on the Wii is at least tolerable, even if it badly written and padded like the rest of the versians.

 

[thepyrethatburns]

Add me to those who still like Star Wars. Enough good stuff still comes out for the franchise that his statement of "Who still likes Star Wars" comes off as "I never liked it in the first place". This is kinda like Yahtzee's Wii reviews. They can be amusing but, given his bias against the subject, his complaints are both repetitive and to be taken with a grain of salt.

Although, in the case of TFU2, he's right on the money. Fortunately, I didn't spend a dime to find that out.

 

[Redd the Sock]

Hard to be surprised by that review. Everyone's been ripping on it, even those that love Star Wars and liked the first game.

I'm at a loss for what happened. The usual Yahtzee ribbing over things we usualy overlook in videeogames but are actualy kinda dumb aside, the game was still fun to play and looked and sounded great. Then you beat the game and we're left wondering if this was DLC they expanded into a game, or (as many of us have feared with DLC) was this intentionaly cut back to sell things as DLC. (Heck, the first DLC pack will take us to endor, showing that DLC has the added benefit of inserting levels without having to write a story around them like usual). And the story this time, god knows how they got a novel out of it, because it felt like a one shot fanfic. Heck, why the direct sequal? Starkiller realy have that big a following? The same game engine could easially be adapted to any star wars setting so why insult our intelegence here? Too many clone war and old republic games? Not enough creativity to propely visualize things from the New Jedi Order?

The worst part: the way both light and dark side endings went, we can expect a Force Unleashed 3 to establish a final fate for Starkiller (and possibly undoing the effects of the light side ending.)

 

[MrGalactus]

Force lightning is EVERYBODY's weakness?
That's....
*puts on sun glasses*
Shocking
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You win at the comments

OT: This was one of the funniest ever, and last weeks was one of the most entertaining ever. Go for a hat trick, Yahtzee!

 

[Kulingile]

Why have you been reviewing these kinds of games? Like you said in your EP, they're repetitive, and stink of filler before the Christmas season. Review some old games, at least they would be a trifle entertaining.

Agreed. Why not review less popular games that are actually fun to play. I'd give you a list of games I think should be reviewed, but I think I'll put out the flames before they're posted. >.>

Well didn't Yahtzee say that people didn't like it when he talked positively about a game, like his review of Psychonauts. Most people enjoy watching a game get torn to shreds.

Good point. In that case, however, why did he review a game that everyone already knew sucked? lol

Because, when Yahtzee reviews a game that everyone knows sucks or a game (like a JRPG) that everyone knows Yahtzee will hate, they expect the review to be hilarious cause then Yahtzee has more ammo to use against the game in order to rip the game a new one.