Zero Punctuation: Super Mario Galaxy

[Carol Pentalentathon]

Damn it Yahtzee, why is it that nearly every song you pick for the intro and end is or somehow becomes one of my guilty pleasure songs?

I ended up playing Super Mario Galaxy in the store, and I'd have to agree with you that the Wii controls are really awkward in this sort of game. Then again, it seems that the only controls I'm actually good at are the ones on the Game Boy etc and keyboard (fuck you all, I was a poor child), so that would explain things.

 

[Corbineau]

Hm, he didn't mention that the game seems to completely lack anti-aliasing, and thus the graphics look like fresh blocky shite.

Unless that's only on the HD-tvs they have at gamestop.

In which case, never mind. But still. I haven't bought the thing because it's been so painful to look at, whenever I see a demo.

(Heh, Josef Gobbels head on a giant mantis lulz ftw.)

 

[Poida12]

Great as always. Has anyone taken the time to pause at the blue spoiler alert screen which lasts for one frame? It's pretty funny. And sums up mario pretty well too. Looking forward to next week.

 

[Poida12]

I did miss that delightful self deprication which gives Yahtzee that extra edge though. It was a bit lacking this week - especially as this is the holiday period. A few thematic jokes wouldn't have gone astray. But i still crapped myself laughing so perhaps it doesn't matter if the aim is humour.

 

[PurpleRain]

Ahh, Mario. When will you get laid. Anyway, how does a plumber end up with some Princess chick anyway?

 

[Lance Icarus]

Another fine review Mr. Zee. Galaxy does have some awkward parts that seem sort of wrong (that pubic hair thing is actually halfway true and does come with an "ewwwww" factor) and the lives system is just awkward. Really, what's the freaking point when you end up getting 50 some odd lives EVERY play session?

I can't wait for next week's review. Come on NiGHTS review!

 

[stacia123]

You do realize that complaining about Yahtzee giving a negative review is like complaining about shoe stores selling shoes.

I am surprised that people who don't want to hear Yahtzee complain about a game still come here and listen to Yahtzee complain about a game. Tomorrow, I plan on walking into a nearby Piggly Wiggly and complaining that there's groceries laying about on all the shelves.

 

[Girlysprite]

the point that Mario never gets any is old; here is a fun comic about it (worksafe); http://go-girly.com/go/cake

Some may find the negative rant style a cheap gimmick, and it is a gimmick. But hey, it makes me laugh.

I liked this one, as I liked every one of em.

 

[FlameMasterAxel]

I've been a fan for a long time, I just haven't signed up to comment because I'm lazy like that.

I would just like it to be known that I signed up purely to state that a game in which you start a snow-shoveling buisness in Hell would make a neat Nintendo game if they ever deciced to actually try new games these days.

Ironic, huh?

 

[BigText]

Yahtzee HAS to criticize games; he said so in the Orange Box review. I think he may like the game a LOT more than he's letting on, really. If he says that he'd love a game just about the space levels from Super Mario Sunshine, and then he gets a game that's just that, he can't be TOO hateful about it.

Anyway, I too have a few problems with Galaxy, even if I love it with all my heart and being. I want to press the "c" button to orient the camera to directly behind Mario, right-side up, similar to pressing "z" in any of the 3D Zelda games. However, the areas in which you can do this always seem extraordinarily limited, and you end up having to run TOWARDS the camera at times, something which is particularly nerve-racking. Even if it does let you use the "c" button, it seems to like orienting the camera upside-down. That, and the complaint about being unable to tell where a given push of the thumbstick is going to go is totally true.

One complaint I personally have is that the gravity doesn't work well. It's REALLY hard to tell at times whether letting go of whatever you're flying on will drop you to a planet, or if the game decides you're out of reach and drops your ass into space and death. Then there are those planets that are shaped really weird. If there's a part on a planet that's shaped like a U or a C, I try to long-jump from one tip to another to save time. If the planet just has a curve to it, I try to long-jump a few times along the inside of the curve to get there faster. However, all too often, neither of these techniques actually work. For the tip-to-tip jumping, the game seems to REALLY like keeping me bound to whatever surface I jumped off of. Unless I get within about 6 inches of the surface I'm trying to get to, it drops me back to the first tip where I then have to walk around to get to the point I could have spit on earlier. For the long-jumping on the inside of a curve, I don't know why the game tries to make my movement so wonky. Whenever I come down from a long-jump I made to cut to another part of the curve, the game always makes me move back some before I hit the ground. It's rather annoying.

Long-jumping seems to have been fucked over in general, really. On any of the smaller, round planetoids, running is faster than long-jumping, because as you long jump, you move in a relatively straight line as the world curves away, meaning the actual distance across the world you moved is pretty short. Then you have the extra time it takes for you to fall. While this technically makes sense, it hurts gameplay, to me. Plus, why have proper physics there where it makes it annoying, then have bullshit physics elsewhere when proper physics there would have been more helpful?

However, other than those complaints, the game is mind-blowingly fun. I think the life system is charming, even if it's useless.

 

[tinyosi]

Yahtzee HAS to criticize games; he said so in the Orange Box review. I think he may like the game a LOT more than he's letting on, really. If he says that he'd love a game just about the space levels from Super Mario Sunshine, and then he gets a game that's just that, he can't be TOO hateful about it.

Anyway, I too have a few problems with Galaxy, even if I love it with all my heart and being. I want to press the "c" button to orient the camera to directly behind Mario, right-side up, similar to pressing "z" in any of the 3D Zelda games. However, the areas in which you can do this always seem extraordinarily limited, and you end up having to run TOWARDS the camera at times, something which is particularly nerve-racking. Even if it does let you use the "c" button, it seems to like orienting the camera upside-down. That, and the complaint about being unable to tell where a given push of the thumbstick is going to go is totally true.

One complaint I personally have is that the gravity doesn't work well. It's REALLY hard to tell at times whether letting go of whatever you're flying on will drop you to a planet, or if the game decides you're out of reach and drops your ass into space and death. Then there are those planets that are shaped really weird. If there's a part on a planet that's shaped like a U or a C, I try to long-jump from one tip to another to save time. If the planet just has a curve to it, I try to long-jump a few times along the inside of the curve to get there faster. However, all too often, neither of these techniques actually work. For the tip-to-tip jumping, the game seems to REALLY like keeping me bound to whatever surface I jumped off of. Unless I get within about 6 inches of the surface I'm trying to get to, it drops me back to the first tip where I then have to walk around to get to the point I could have spit on earlier. For the long-jumping on the inside of a curve, I don't know why the game tries to make my movement so wonky. Whenever I come down from a long-jump I made to cut to another part of the curve, the game always makes me move back some before I hit the ground. It's rather annoying.

Long-jumping seems to have been fucked over in general, really. On any of the smaller, round planetoids, running is faster than long-jumping, because as you long jump, you move in a relatively straight line as the world curves away, meaning the actual distance across the world you moved is pretty short. Then you have the extra time it takes for you to fall. While this technically makes sense, it hurts gameplay, to me. Plus, why have proper physics there where it makes it annoying, then have bullshit physics elsewhere when proper physics there would have been more helpful?

However, other than those complaints, the game is mind-blowingly fun. I think the life system is charming, even if it's useless.

Heh I remember when he said he had to criticize games, that was funny as hell. Besides guys he has always criticized games and he should continue. I remember when he reviewed Phyconauts
everyone complained about him being nice to a game. Next week, when he complained about Bioshock people continued to complain.

 

[8Track]

One thing though...

The guy is paid to give a negative review of a game.

This is the kind of thing that doesn't sit well with me. Anti-conformatism is just conformatism with a cheap coat of paint thrown over it.

Anti-conformatisim is conformatisim is anti-conformitism.

 

[Idietired]

@8Track: Dude ... what?

So I'm glad he's back to the reviews. I liked his SMG review (Duke 3D flashback? Anyone?), but Yahtzee makes a really good point in his blog about some people being upset over his review style. People complain that he's too negative or too positive, or that he doesn't use a 10-point scale, or whatever.

What he basically talks about on his page is that he gets paid to do what he does because The Escapist thinks he's unique and entertaining when he does it (and, naturally, I agree). If he leans toward negative reviews, it's only for the sake of his readers/viewers. He doesn't want to assign numbers to his reviews because he doesn't feel like his thoughts and impressions can be assigned a numerical value (and I agree there, too).

To me, that proves he's not just a journalist, but a journalist that cares enough about what he journalizes not to pigeon-hole his reviews into a "10-point" like everybody else on the web.

Whether people like his reviews or not is up to them, but if they're questioning whether he's a "real journalist," I'd argue that they could better spend their time after their naps coloring or making doody on their respective potties, not in the comment section where the big kids play.

If there's anything I've learned, it's that being a "journalism major" hasn't made me a real journalist nearly as much as being one of the millions of idiots with a blog.

Welcome to the internet.

Enjoy your stay, play nice with others, and don't get paste on your monitor. Mommy and Daddy are already disappointed enough.

 

[intplee]

Yahtzee. Stop reviewing good games!

You get paid for this, so you shouldn't enjoy it. I want you to suffer with crap, so that we might all be amused by your bitter outrage.

 

[8Track]

He does pigeon hole his "reviews", they're all going to be negative.
I don't care if he does or doesn't give a number rating system to his games, my concern is that people would actually buy a game based on his information. He's a standard journalist who, like most others, has game upon game thrown at his desk every other week. His opinion is based on the novelty of the game, not it's overall playability.

Psychonauts(sp) is a great example, the game on it's own is great once, but worth being your only game of the year? Absolutely not. My reasoning behind this, is that while fun, there is no reason to ever buy it. You'll play it once, maybe twice then shelve it, going back to the standard BF2 or Hellgate: London, only because you can invest time into these and get something out of it.

'Games are art!". Yahtzee and others will cry. While that's a good view for progression of the industy, it does not help those that can only afford two or three games a year, and jounalists like Yahtzee, only serve to hinder people looking for a review that will provide them will a game that is always fun, and not a game that gets put on a high-horse, and compared to all other games around it.

To sum it up, Yahtzee, and most other game journalists are so over indulged in games, that their opinion is only worth a passing glance, until you finally search down that magazine/site/soap box that has writers that sit on the same wallet as you.

 

[kurayami]

mario has been a pretty old icon for nintendo but having something consistent could be comforting in creating games that dare to be different. mario has had a lot of spin-offs and he has practically done anything that homer simpson has done. knowing which are the good guys, which are the bad guys, and having the standard plot probably makes it easier to focus that the game mainly focuses on a new type of gameplay. injecting mario into bowser's intestines shouldn't be any less that putting mario into space. for all we know, the colorful characters are known to be attractive to children. it might as well be that seeing their favorite icons in different situations like karting or playing in the olympics has the same attraction in seeing your favorite porn star doing all kinds of kinky stuff or seeing your favorite jpop stars playing in some crazy japanese variety show (which ever floats your boat). it's like doujinshi i suppose.

i can't say much about gameplay since i'm not that all too game savvy and practically just play what appeals to me for whatever reason. although i did like some mario games i've played (not much on the karting since i like simulated racing); but it feels unfair to keep thrashing nintendo for recycling their bringers of fame and fortune.

also, whether it's a positive or a negative review, i found remarks on psychonauts and orange box as funny as bioshock and mass effect. but then again, between me and those that complain that the reviews are on one end of the extreme, it might just be a matter of one of us simply lacking humor.

you can't please everyone but as long as it pleases the nice guy with the boat and strange talking dog.

 

[sathie]

I didn't imagine that this was about 6 times slower than usual? Still some funny gags, but it's much more amusing when they go by at a rate of knots and I have to go back to hear some bits of it. I can understand the slower pace this week though. Been busy with the beer I'm guessing

And yeah people complaining that they dont like his review style. This isn't IGN or CVG. Don't come here expecting myriad details about the pros and cons of a game. Expect a cuttingly honest review of its flaws and the tedium that is the video game industry in general, done in a way that makes you laugh.

Anyone who bases their computer game purchase decisions on Yahtzee's reviews needs their head checking . Whether he's positive or negative, he leaves you to go make your own decision on whether you want to buy a game. Go check other sites for that stuff. He's generating interest in games, and most of the time that is enough.

If you're all cut up because he doesn't like your favourite game or developer, then it doesn't really matter does it. If you like the game you like the game. All that matters.

Happy new year and thanks for the review!

 

[SacrificiaLamb]

Hearing about a game's faults tells you just as much if not more about how good it really is rather than just hearing about its strong points. Anyway, I hope this is the last Mario review. I think we've covered this ground well enough. Same goes for Zelda.

 

[miffywiffy]

Really wish you people would stop bitching, it's only for fun and not to be taken completly serious....


So please you forum crying fanbois go out and get laid.