As a longtime fan of ZP I realize that his mauling of SS2 is just Yahtzee being Yahtzee, and that's cool. But as an even longer-time fan of SS2 I feel somewhat obligated to stand up for it, so bear with me here--
"You're assigned to an experimental FTL ship exploring a distant galaxy..."
The Von Braun's destination is the Tau Ceti system, which is well within
this galaxy (only 12 light-years away).
"You set off to piece together what happened and look for survivors, although you won't find any because there wasn't enough room on CDs to have friendly NPCs..."
This was a rather silly thing to say even by Yahtzee's standards, since we've had friendly NPCs in gaming since practically as long as computer gaming has existed. Rather, the lack of NPCs in SS2 was a deliberate design decision carried over from the original System Shock. I'll let Warren Spector explain--
Warren Spector said:
Back when Doug Church and I first started talking about System Shock, we were dissatisfied with the conversation approach taken in Underworld, traditional and conventional though it may have been. And though it pained us to admit it, even to ourselves, we had no idea how to do any better. So the team designed around the unsolvable problem - we killed everyone off. The inhabitants of Citadel station would exist, for the player, only through e-mail and video logs. It was an elegant solution to an intractable problem: if we can't make you believe you're talking to a real human being, we just won't have any in our game world.
Remodeling RPGs for the New Millennium [http://www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/131716/remodeling_rpgs_for_the_new_.php?page=3] (Gamasutra)
"Then again you can't port System Shock 2 to a console until someone invents a game pad with mouse control and more buttons than a microwave at an arts and crafts shop."
There was in fact a port of SS2 to the Dreamcast in the works, sadly canceled when the console failed to take off. The number of buttons actually required to play SS2 is grossly exaggerated. The controls are for the most part bog-standard FPS-- move, run, jump, crouch, select weapons, reload, use. To that SS2 adds leaning, and a couple of binds for switching weapon mode and ammo type. There are a pile of other binds, yes, but
you don't have to use them, they're just shortcuts for things that you can accomplish otherwise via clicking around in the cyber-interface. So yeah, SS2 would have ported to a console just fine. They didn't have any problem with Oblivion or Fallout 3, right?
"Oh no, it looks like you sunk all your points into scratching your bum!" etc...
It's a fair complaint that SS2 puts you in the position of having to make character upgrade decisions without full knowledge of how those decisions will play out, but that's an intrinsic problem with RPGs in general, and the only real "solution" to it is to allow respeccing, which is utterly lame. But what SS2 does do, via the career sequence, is start you out with a set of guided choices that are guaranteed not to gimp you no matter what you pick. This gives the player a sense of direction for their future upgrade choices, despite the game using a classless character system. Very cool.
Still, yes, it's possible to make bad choices, but hey, if there were only good choices, what's the point of choosing at all? True freedom includes the freedom to screw yourself.
"That fucking techno music."
Beg pardon? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UQLqqOVWb0]
"Another someone modded in co-op gameplay."
As already pointed out in this thread, that someone was Irrational Games. It was supposed to be in the game to begin with, and was even advertised on the box, but they couldn't get it working in time. They didn't even want to include it in the game in the first place (survival horror and co-op being about as compatible as peanut butter and spaghetti sauce), but EA forced them to.
But speaking of mods, there are a few excellent ones that improve the hell out of the original rather fuzzy textures and blocky models. You can find most of them here [http://www.systemshock.org/index.php?board=2.0].
"Those weird Dark Engine physics that feel like you're walking around with your feet trapped in bowling balls."
Another very odd complaint, given that the Dark Engine was created for Thief, a game which is all about precise player movement and control, and generally the recipient of high praise in this department.