Zero Punctuation: The Bureau: XCOM Declassified

[Drummodino]

Right, But thats the point, You can have a squad of 4 to 6 people, and you as the Director have no personal relationship with them, You order them around on the battlefield, you may grow attached to certain characters over time because Colonel Johnson managed to kill four aliens at in one mission, saved Private Tom's life with a medpack and was hospitalized for a month. They make their own stories, and you will usually remember and feel bad when you lose someone you have had since so and so mission.

But the point in The Bureau is that you are on the field, with these two agents, fighting with them, alongside them. And you probably wouldn't even know their names, you don't interact with them outside of the combat missions, And once they die, everyone, even you goes "well. Who wants his spot on the squad?". Sure they level up, and you'll be sad if you have to level a new guy from level 1, but for a squad you are a part of, shouldn't there be a little bit more?

Since XCOM's squads have always been just bunch of faceless goons with no personality whatsoever and no reason to be attached to at all throughout the entire history of the IP, I'm not sure why it's such a big problem that it's the same with this game. All the so called "attachment" to these squad members that the players always seem to talk endlessly about when mentioning this series is just a bunch of imagined qualities put into those squad members by the players to give value to what is otherwise just some generic expendable units that in any other game the player would be sacrificing by the carload without ever giving them a second thought.

I think its because they're comparing it to Mass Effect's squad members. Like Yahtzee said, this game is basically a Mass Effect clone with a infinitely crappier story and shitty characters. Now think - what are the best features of Mass Effect? Hint - its not the combat.

 

[Drummodino]

I think part of the reason why some people get attached to the squad memebers in XCOM: EU and "characterize" them is because they are actually the ones kicking ass and taking names. In the Bureau, its mostly you who is kicking ass and your quadmates are just there to lend the occasional assistance and act as decoys to draw enemy fire.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but for some odd reason there's something about how EU makes the squads the "focus" of the game that makes me want to characterize them and give a damn about them.

One thing to consider is that squad members in XCOM EU are far more valuable than the ones in the Bureau. As i mentioned before, in EU they do everything and in the Bureau its you who is doing most of the heavy lifting. Its probably far more troublesome to replace 1 squad member in EU than it is to replace 4 squadmates in the Bureau. Perhaps its this "value" EU squad member posses that makes people give a damn about them.

Once again sorry if this all just seems like gibberish to you, I'm kinda having a hard time explaining the reasoning behind this.

I have to agree. When you lose a high ranked squad member in EU it can be soul crushing. You've seen this character evolve into a badass, and you'll have memories of them pulling off epic takedowns or succeeding against the odds. Also you have the fact that it took a lot of effort to rank them up and now you've lost an extremely powerful unit. So there is a gameplay cost as well as an emotional one.

 

[RTR]

I would eat the shit out of that pizza.

Also, I loved the "two kinds in a coat" joke.

 

[Darth_Payn]

You can send them off on non-playable missions Assassin's Creed-style

Correction: Final Fantasy Tactics-style.

Yahtzee will go to his grave before saying something nice about Final Fantasy.

 

[Darth_Payn]

I have to inform you all: Dominos will not make you 11-high stack of pizzas. The ovens are not tall enough.

Did Dominos or Pizza Hut invent that pizza made of Oreos and ice cream? Yahtzee may have invented the pizza sandwich made of pizza, but the Oreo Pizza is all American!

Yeah I am pleased I didn't buy this, I had heard from other sources (angryjoe) that it was shit always good to get a second opinion though. Plus at least there is an expansion coming out to Xcom: Enemy Unknown now which looks like its shaping up to be good (which Firaxis DLC usually is)

Also you should ask David Bowie about that whole having to follow Freddie Mercury on stage , because he had to at live aid.

David Bowie's such an awesome dude that way. When he went on tour with Nine Inch Nails (or maybe it was just Trent Reznor), he put his own name under NIN's on the posters.

captcha: one hit wonder
I hope that doesn't apply to the revived XCOM series

 

[DirgeNovak]

Dominos?! EEEEEWWWWW!
And I was under the impression Yahtzee didn't particularly care for Mass Effect.

 

[Muspelheim]

Pioneering cosmonaut exploring unknown, seemingly abandoned vessel found on the moon.

Cosmonaut: I must find the monsters!

Strange Formless Voice: No, mankind. You are the monsters.

And the mankind were the monsters.

And that is why the Soviets gave up on the moon, burning the related archives (and relations) associated with it. Then a fragment was found and released on the internet, disguised as a rubbish Doom fanfic.

 

[Psychobabble]

When I first heard about this game I knew right then I'd be giving it a wide berth. Nothing Yahtzee has said makes me regret my decision.

Oddly enough, much to my surprise, I find my Gran was incredibly interested in this game when she heard that the main objective was to mercilessly gun down invading aliens. Then she found out they meant aliens "from space" and was terribly disappointed.

 

[Covarr]

Can't say this is any worse than I expected. Though props for ripping off Mass Effect so thoroughly, I actually didn't see that bit coming.

P.S. Thanks

 

[Annihilist]

Anyone else see Gordon Freeman?

 

[Mydnyght]

A sandwich made of two pizzas...with another NINE in between?
What, the Mega Cheese Crust pizza ain't good enough for you, Yahtzee?

 

[Hutzpah Chicken]

Clint Eastwood and Gordon Freeman together with a stack of 11 pizzas. Now that's a concept I like!

 

[geldonyetich]

I liked The Bureau, I thought the gameplay was pretty decent and the plot was alright. Granted, the gameplay wasn't as good as X-COM:Enemy Unknown and the plot was quite clique with only one interesting twist to it.

Spoiler

You're actually playing an ethereal and the game isn't actually a third person action game at all because you're seeing it through its eyes the whole time.

Oops, there it was.

Anywho, my advice is to rent it or wait until it comes down to $20. The game's fine, just not as substantial as the Glorious PC Gaming Master Race deserves.

On a final note:

It's pretty disappointing that everywhere we looked we haven't found monsters.

Try the very bottom of the sea [http://list25.com/25-most-terrifying-deep-sea-creatures/]. Once you see your first leftvent you'll know we've a real jackpot of monsters down there.

 

[Zipa]

I have to inform you all: Dominos will not make you 11-high stack of pizzas. The ovens are not tall enough.

Did Dominos or Pizza Hut invent that pizza made of Oreos and ice cream? Yahtzee may have invented the pizza sandwich made of pizza, but the Oreo Pizza is all American!

Yeah I am pleased I didn't buy this, I had heard from other sources (angryjoe) that it was shit always good to get a second opinion though. Plus at least there is an expansion coming out to Xcom: Enemy Unknown now which looks like its shaping up to be good (which Firaxis DLC usually is)

Also you should ask David Bowie about that whole having to follow Freddie Mercury on stage , because he had to at live aid.

David Bowie's such an awesome dude that way. When he went on tour with Nine Inch Nails (or maybe it was just Trent Reznor), he put his own name under NIN's on the posters.

captcha: one hit wonder
I hope that doesn't apply to the revived XCOM series

Yeah Bowie is awesome, but he didn't choose to follow Queen's set, it was organized for them as live aid was a charity gig with multiple artists. The day belonged very much to Queen that day though as their set is known as ''the twenty minutes that changed music'' it even comes up as that on google.

 

[Oskuro]

Well, I thought the setting (1960's conspiracy style plus those intriguing polygon-mancer aliens) looked promising... Seems like they didn't take advantadge of it.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Back in 2010, I said that the XCOM shooter looked like a generic cover based shooter set in Norman Rockwellville.
From what I've seen and read, that sentence is more interesting than the actual game.

How ironic that in an industry that acts upon the notion of "people don't know what they want, but we do" manages to constantly get this shit wrong... Even when they get it right.

Like so much mediocre shit before, we can finally flush this turd and move on.

 

[Rebel_Raven]

That's pretty scary, being followup to alive Freddie Mercury. Tough act to follow. Yah, I'm a pretty huge Queen fan.
Heck, regardless, Freddie Mercury's a tough act to follow.

Pretty good analogy, too. I know I infinitely prefer the old style of X-com. Flight of the Valkyries FTW!


Captcha: oh wait
on what? *Waits on Escapist* >.>

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I can almost taste the salty tears of the execs that were ballsy and reckless enough to authorize the idea of an FPS reboot...

2K Execs, a few years ago: "Hey, guess what? People like shooters! People liked XCOM! XCOM SHOOTER! MONEY! PRINT! NAO!"

*a few revisions later*

2K Execs: "Print money? Please?" *puppy whine*

*a few more revisions*

2K Execs: "Aw, fuck it. I'll just go and get drunk and mail some ricin-laced letters to Jake Solomon. Asshole KILLED MY IDEA WITH HIS BETTER GAME!" *tortured alcoholic sobs*

 

[RaNDM G]

I don't think anyone was expecting this game to not suck.

It would have been fine if they made the game they wanted to make instead of caving to XCOM's fanbase. Ink monsters hiding in the walls of suburban homes and monolothic weapons of mass destruction were far more interesting threats than what we got.

 

[[REDACTED]]

Anyone else see Gordon Freeman?

Yes we did. Because he was in the video. The video that we all watched.