Zero Punctuation: The Conduit

[FightThePower]

I was never really impressed by the Conduit anyway. It just looked so dreary, bland and ugly. I said a while ago that I was never going to buy this unless the art design improved and it had something genuinely different and guess what? I didn't buy it. The only reason anyone cared about The Conduit was that it was on the Wii...if it wasn't, no one would.

And you are quite right Yahtzee, Metroid Prime does look better than The Conduit. Actually it looks better than pretty much EVERY other Wii game. Except Metroid Prime 3, fittingly.

"Thou shall not be on the Wii" made me laugh.

 

[VinLAURiA]

Finally! And might I add it was so freaking worth the wait. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna at least rent it, still.

Fun fact: the Conduit was originally gonna use the MotionPlus in the exact manner you mentioned, but it was primarilly gonna be used for melee attacks. When they didn't like the melee attacks, they just got rid of the support not realizing that that gets rid of the aiming ability.

Though their next game using the Quantum3 engine, the Grinder, does feature Wii MotionPlus support, so maybe then you'll get your wish.

 

[hortonamos7]

I completely agree that The Conduit was ugly, the plot was weak, and the sound was generic, but I have to disagree about the controls.

They are full customizable (to include how far up you can look, and mapping melee to a button instead of waggle) and actually quite intuitive. Make the bounding box really small and you don't have to point way to the side to turn. IMO, it's almost as good as a mouse once you get it tuned (the default blows).

Great review, though. Hilarious as always.

 

[Motakikurushi]

Nintendo need to stop releasing games that attempt to match the Xbox 360 and PS3 in terms of quality and capabilities. My sides can't take much more laughter.

Great episode, well done as always. Can't get enough Wii bashing, especially since I own one.

 

[Ancientgamer]

Best review in ages. I loved to see him putting on the vitriol. Seemed more lively.

 

[EchetusXe]

Why review Wii games when Wii games are shit?

...oh wait yeah, that's right. People find it funnier when Yahtzee hates on a game because they are soulless bastards who feed on hate.

 

[Lord George]

The review was good but more importantly it reminded me I haven't watched Secretary in ages, now thats a good film.

 

[PhiMed]

Wow another Wii zp review and yet my Wii will stay dusty.

Also I wonder since he hasn't mentioned it does Yahtzee know that Prince of Persia SoT is now becoming a movie because I think he'd be "overjoyed" to hear it.

Spoiler

Please tell me that's just a frakking photoshop job....

Sorry.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473075/

 

[PhiMed]

Why review Wii games when Wii games are shit?

...oh wait yeah, that's right. People find it funnier when Yahtzee hates on a game because they are soulless bastards who feed on hate.

No, probably because the mainstream reviewers have been splooging over themselves about this game because they are soulless bastards who live off Sega dollars.

 

[dunnace]

But... you can look up. Just alter the controls... in fact all your control complaint are fairly rubbish, the whole control mapping can be changed. I'm best at Wii FPS control, it's better than dual analogue in my book at least...

 

[Harlemura]

Is it me or was Yahtzee extra grumpy this week?
Anyway, I'm glad he did this and ripped it to shreds for our own good, I was thinking about giving this a go.
I feel sorry for my Wii, it hasn't seen anything except Brawl for about 4 months.

 

[TheAmazingTGIF]

This game would be great if it can out several years ago! It is like Metroid Prime 3 finally adding voice overs! It was revolutionary (a long long time ago).
Oh Wii, with your 1-to-(-)1 control.

 

[Matu Flp Krwfe]

This game would be great if it can out several years ago! It is like Metroid Prime 3 finally adding voice overs! It was revolutionary (a long long time ago).
Oh Wii, with your 1-to-(-)1 control.

If you took pants back a few thousand years they would be considered revolutionary too but that postulate does not excuse any discomfort they give you now.

 

[AdmiralWolverineLightningbolt]

But... you can look up. Just alter the controls... in fact all your control complaint are fairly rubbish, the whole control mapping can be changed. I'm best at Wii FPS control, it's better than dual analogue in my book at least...

no, i agree, it's way better than dual analog
anyway, a lot of that review was a bit retarded since it's really easy to change the controls - and on this one at least it proves that wii controls are best for FPSs

 

[The Noble Shade]

By his standards, this game must be worse than Brawl (a game that I love).
Seriously, this review shows something I have always known. That the Wii has become the toilet of the video game industry. Sure, there have been SOME excellent games (of which I own) for it, but most of those are first-party titles.
True business is one that, with integrity, puts the consumer first; a high profit is a product of such a business. "Business" with the intent of just making money is not a business; only greed. All Nintendo does is hang on to and tantalize us with their IPs without bringing any quality control with their third-parties (IE: the peice of shit that is The Conduit and the imagine series), while at the same time completely alienating their hardcore crowd.
It is my hope that the new Metroid game will help reel the hardcore crowd back in and show Nintendo that they need to drop the casual shit (which a a good possibility since Team Ninja is heading the project). If it fails, then the Wii needs to die so Nintendo will be forced to develop a better console.

 

[knight56]

Well Yahtzee has had SOME good things to say about the Wii in...the...past.......damn.

The Wii can't seem to maintain its stride, as much as I'm disappointed by this, I have other options because I own all 3 consoles and I'm still happy. n_nv

Edit: I wholeheartedly regretted buying the Conduit and feel a lot better about it now that it's been torn up.

 

[Partyjerk]

yey beat the !@#$ out of the wii. Wii!! ;D

 

[geldonyetich]

Yet another reason why my Wii sits around unplayed. I bought it because I figured it might be good exercise or something. However, the number of games that could half-way satisfy a hardcore player on that platform could be counted in fractions.

 

[Emblem64]

Hahaha loved the random Palin-head spawners. I'm so glad this game was finally reviewed!