Zero Punctuation: The Conduit
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I absolutely adore Yahtzee's vindictive burning of the kiddie-dedicated Wii. The name is really starting to lean towards the perverted sort of puns, if you see what I mean (that it was made for wee little gamers).
Btw don't ever listen to official critics because they get paid to throw unsolicited perfect scores to bad games.veloper said:
you think he would be overjoyed to know that Disney is going to ruin such a lovely game franchise with a crappy for all ages kiddie movie -_- why the hell would you think that ?Freakout456 said:Prince of Persia SoT is now becoming a movie because I think he'd be "overjoyed" to hear it.
Overjoyed was in quotation marks "" which implies sarcasm when put around a word.Dartinin said:you think he would be overjoyed to know that Disney is going to ruin such a lovely game franchise with a crappy for all ages kiddie movie -_- why the hell would you think that ?Freakout456 said:Prince of Persia SoT is now becoming a movie because I think he'd be "overjoyed" to hear it.
Dear Yahtzee: You probably already know this and are just ignoring it to give you more thin excuses for Wii-bashing, but in case you genuinely missed it: Every aspect of the game's controls is customizable. If you don't like the default running speed (and I don't, either) you can go into the menu and speed it up. If you don't like the slow-motion melee, you can map it to a button press. If you don't like how far you have to aim to the side in order to turn, you can even shrink the bounding box! Let's see an Xbox 360 shooter do THAT.
I agree with him as far as the story, as well as some (but not all) of the level designs and bosses, and especially that stupid keyhole-finding shit, but he spends about thirty seconds on those, and the rest of the time bashing the control scheme that can be easily changed to suit your every whim.
I agree with him as far as the story, as well as some (but not all) of the level designs and bosses, and especially that stupid keyhole-finding shit, but he spends about thirty seconds on those, and the rest of the time bashing the control scheme that can be easily changed to suit your every whim.
Fucking DISNEY is making the movie!? My next 100 paychecks says they screw it up beyond recognition.Freakout456 said:Wow another Wii zp review and yet my Wii will stay dusty.
Also I wonder since he hasn't mentioned it does Yahtzee know that Prince of Persia SoT is now becoming a movie because I think he'd be "overjoyed" to hear it.
OT: It's been a while since Yahtzee ripped apart a game this bad. Hella funny as always!
Seeing this I just had to google it. There is actually a list of deadly sins for game design.Krysk said:
http://weblogs.asp.net/bleroy/archive/2007/07/05/seven-deadly-sins-of-game-design.aspx
This was funny, but the man needs to cut the Wii-bashing. It's not all that funny. The Conduit has enough things to bash about it.
While the Conduit is quite playable, Yahtzee seems to be right on a lot of things about it. I mean, the Conduit basically took every single FPS cliche there is and mixed them together...and you could see it from the first trailer.
Alien invasion? Check.
The faceless support/codec/radio/whatever guy? Check.
Alien conspiracy from the 90's? Check.
And the graphics...I don't even know how it's possible for them to try to make the best-looking Wii game but still lose to titles like Metroid and even Red Steel. My guess is that they tried to make it HD on a non-HD console. The best and worst way to do this is using BLOOOOOOOOM.
I heard that the Conduit multiplayer mode is quite good, though. And the controls are completely customizable.
But now, let's all wait for the review of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, because that will be really interesting. A franchise Yahtzee loves hits a console Yahtzee loves to bash. What will happen?
While the Conduit is quite playable, Yahtzee seems to be right on a lot of things about it. I mean, the Conduit basically took every single FPS cliche there is and mixed them together...and you could see it from the first trailer.
Alien invasion? Check.
The faceless support/codec/radio/whatever guy? Check.
Alien conspiracy from the 90's? Check.
And the graphics...I don't even know how it's possible for them to try to make the best-looking Wii game but still lose to titles like Metroid and even Red Steel. My guess is that they tried to make it HD on a non-HD console. The best and worst way to do this is using BLOOOOOOOOM.
I heard that the Conduit multiplayer mode is quite good, though. And the controls are completely customizable.
But now, let's all wait for the review of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, because that will be really interesting. A franchise Yahtzee loves hits a console Yahtzee loves to bash. What will happen?
Funny, but Sarah Palin jokes? Really? Have you finally gotten around to watching the news you recorded 10 months ago? It doesn't really matter what you think of the woman, but its gotten kind of boring.
Yahtzee definitely took off the gloves for this one! I hope he gets a more amicable game next week, if only to keep him sane.
A MEdiocre product by Sega that's hailed by Nintendo fans despite such horrible flaws? Wow, Yahtzee sure got it right in this review.
Excellently said.
Excellently said.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG! IN SO MANY WAYS!
Sure, the enemy spawners may be annoying, but ranting about the controls!?
Look Yahtzee, you utter nitwit, the controls are FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE. Don't like the proddy melee? Change it to, for example, the up button - like I did. Makes it much easier. In a way, by moaning about the controls you are complaining about your lack of ability to explore menus.
Also, the graphics ARE good. The TEXTURES aren't good, they are stupidly repeated, however the water effects, the reflection and lighting effects are brilliant. The bloom effects are also great and are used in a nice way (especially when you're dieing! (lol)).
All they need to do is improve their level design, make the gameplay a bit more varied -use the ASE for more than just a lock opener or bonus finder, for example- and greatly improve the texture detail. MP3+ quality textures with Quantum3 graphics effects would probably look brilliant!
Oh, and you can look up. Once again your inability to navigate simple menus has been the cause of your complaint, as you just need to slide "Vertical view" (self-explanatory) to 100, there you have it, you can look up! Simple!
Want to turn around quicker? Change the horizontal view and make the dead zone AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. Hey presto! You have movement that feels much more natural than any analog stick controlled shooter.
Finally, the story is not non-existant (sorry for the double negative). If you actually look for it, it is there...and it is a VERY good story. The developers even said that they didn't want people to be forced through a complex story, those that wanted to just run and gun through each level could do so, but they put radios and conspiracy text and other nuggets of conspiracy information (even the levels tie into the story more deeply than you would first imagine) so that those who WANTED a story could find it.
I liked your reviews when I didn't have the games you were criticising (e.g. Spore, Mirrors Edge). However, as I got the games I realised that your reviews were just the whinings of some git who has impossibly high expectations and over-emphasises every little problem, putting people off games that are actually pretty good.
Sure, the enemy spawners may be annoying, but ranting about the controls!?
Look Yahtzee, you utter nitwit, the controls are FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE. Don't like the proddy melee? Change it to, for example, the up button - like I did. Makes it much easier. In a way, by moaning about the controls you are complaining about your lack of ability to explore menus.
Also, the graphics ARE good. The TEXTURES aren't good, they are stupidly repeated, however the water effects, the reflection and lighting effects are brilliant. The bloom effects are also great and are used in a nice way (especially when you're dieing! (lol)).
All they need to do is improve their level design, make the gameplay a bit more varied -use the ASE for more than just a lock opener or bonus finder, for example- and greatly improve the texture detail. MP3+ quality textures with Quantum3 graphics effects would probably look brilliant!
Oh, and you can look up. Once again your inability to navigate simple menus has been the cause of your complaint, as you just need to slide "Vertical view" (self-explanatory) to 100, there you have it, you can look up! Simple!
Want to turn around quicker? Change the horizontal view and make the dead zone AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. Hey presto! You have movement that feels much more natural than any analog stick controlled shooter.
Finally, the story is not non-existant (sorry for the double negative). If you actually look for it, it is there...and it is a VERY good story. The developers even said that they didn't want people to be forced through a complex story, those that wanted to just run and gun through each level could do so, but they put radios and conspiracy text and other nuggets of conspiracy information (even the levels tie into the story more deeply than you would first imagine) so that those who WANTED a story could find it.
I liked your reviews when I didn't have the games you were criticising (e.g. Spore, Mirrors Edge). However, as I got the games I realised that your reviews were just the whinings of some git who has impossibly high expectations and over-emphasises every little problem, putting people off games that are actually pretty good.