Zero Punctuation: The Conduit

[sunami88]

I have to say for once I completely disagree. I enjoyed the hell out of this game (although, I didn't play it through to the end, probably about %40 at a friends place over a day or two).

The controls worked well for me, there's even an option to let you continue turning when the pointer goes off the screen (I hate this option though, COD-whatever for the Wii made me get motion sick because this was on and non-configurable). It's been said in other places, but if you couldn't get the controls to work it's your fault, as literally everything is tweakable.

There are a few low points in the story missions, but overall I felt the game was fairly satisfying, and I always wanted to charge into the next room to shoot the ever-loving-hell out of everything; What more could I ask for?

The story is pretty lame and cheesy, but it didn't faze me much when I was blasting baddies away. To be honest I just kind of ignored the story and shot things. Haha, we all need a good mindless shooter every now and then.

Lastly, I liked the graphics. Sure, they weren't AMAZING or anything, but they were appropriate (if maybe a little muddy at times). Honestly it reminded me of a slightly re-vamped Half Life, and when it plays competently well, there's nothing wrong with that IMO.

I do however agree with the hate for the conduits on the ceilings/unobvious hiding places... that shit was pretty cheap.

tl;dr version; I enjoyed the hell out of this game, and while I recognize your right to an opinion, heartily disagree with you.


EDIT:
Heh, that's my post #420 AT 4:20pm. I Swear that was an accident haha, if I'd known I would've waited for the comments in this thread to reach 420 .

 

[MowDownJoe]

Did you modify the controls at all? That was one of the other big selling points, that you can adjust every aspect of the controls, even the dead zone.
Honestly, though, I didn't bother buying the game. While Wiimote + Nunchuk beats dual analog for control in shooters, Keyboard & Mouse beats them both, and it's gotten to the point where I just can't play a shooter with anything BUT keyboard and mouse. Otherwise, I can't use half of the game's weapons.

 

[rize]

This is why I do not play Wii games anymore, they get repetitive very fast. Which, incidentally, is why any shooter wont work on the Wii. Good review.

Wow, he really spit out the vitriol on this review. I mean, I agree that the WII is shit, but to compare it to Sara Palin....or her retarded kid, I couldn't tell. In anyways, ever since I attempted to play Quantum of Solace for the Wii......no, just no. The Wii CANNOT do FPS or anything except gimicky party games and be used to play much better Gamecube games.

Metroid Prime 3.

Someone above suggested that the Wii made Metroid Prime 3 worse than the first two. I agree. However, it's still a very good game that puts most other games to shame (especially Wii games). Hell, compare the "planet approach" loading screens of Prime to Ratchet and Clank on the PS3 and you'll see that in the right hands, even low res Wii graphics can beat the pants off of lazy PS360 graphics.

 

[Thunderhorse31]

Brilliant review - should I be scared because of how accurate I feel this video was?

 

[sunpop]

Well making an actual game on the Wii is pointless unless it's a part of a never ending series like Zelda. The system is only for crappy casual party games these days anyway the idea anyone is still trying to make serious even close to hardcore games is baffling.

Oh and I noticed the 90day suspension for saying first and I feel the best part is he got 90days for being 2nd because zp was first also causing the kid below him to get banned for 7 days because he was caught in the gravitational pull of the person above him's stupid.

 

[Megidolaon]

lol, that was hilarious.
I always agree with Yahtzee and the same flaws drive me insane in most games I play, so I'm starting to feel jealous of all the happy go lucky, easily impressed people that see shiny alien weapons and don't even care about gameplay flaws.
When I see a normal review, it always mentions the good parts of a game, with ever considering the hideous other side of the coin. I can't help but notice that that, depriving me of all fun I have with the game.
Yet, seems like most players only see the pretty side of the coin and apparently don't think much about the flaws.
I sometimes wish I could do so, I'm trying my very best to overlook every flaw I can, but at some point it's not possible anymore, when the game reaches a point where it's 99% glaring flaws and 1% potential for fun (yes, no actual fun).

 

[LordOrin]

The line at the end cracked me up:
"Think Halo meets National Treasure meets a bucket of sick."

 

[greywolfsage]

Poor nintendo.

The Wii started out as a good idea, though why it was changed from the Revolution, I'll never know.

It's now been stuck in the casual gamer pocket, which might get it more money, my parents case in point. Played it at a friends house, went out and bought console and a slew of games, haven't played the thing since. Even bought a Guitar Hero/Rock Band set up played for like a day and haven't touched it.

I guess Nintendo needs to stick to franchises, but even those grow weak due to what I shall call the Simpson's Syndrome, as South Park referenced. Maybe they should just re-release the games for the Wii that were produced for the SNES/Gameboy, which i actually think they are starting to do...

And more games for the DS! I realised after i bought the thing that all the games are for young kids or for learning purposes, like Brain Academy. I wanna play games for fun darn it!

Definitely seems this is a winner at the Poopoo Olympics and was taken apart for the rolicking amusement of all.

 

[Britisheagle]

Dbeep. Dbeep. Dbeep. hahahaha so good.
Great review as always!

 

[Enlong]

It's now been stuck in the casual gamer pocket, which might get it more money, my parents case in point. Played it at a friends house, went out and bought console and a slew of games, haven't played the thing since. Even bought a Guitar Hero/Rock Band set up played for like a day and haven't touched it.

You know, I'm sick of all this talk about the Wii being a tourist trap for casual gamers, or whatever. What exactly is a casual game? What exactly constitutes a "hardcore" game? Is it a certain amount of graphices? a requisite level of blood and gore? Does it have to be a tournament game of some kind? Does it have to be on certain systems? What?

Oh, but even if Nintendo does try to make a "hardcore" game, it can't win. Because if it's making "casual" games, that's horrible; and if it tries to make "hardcore" games, then the pool has already been tainted by too many "casual" games for that to matter! And if the game is good, then it sould've been made on another system, where it apparently would've been so much better!

And more games for the DS! I realised after i bought the thing that all the games are for young kids or for learning purposes, like Brain Academy. I wanna play games for fun darn it!

The Phoenix Wright series, The new Fire Emblem game, the upcomig Kingdom Hearts game, TWEWY, and many other games that I can't think of off the top of my head. There's plenty of great games for the DS. If you can only find edumacational games, then you aren't looking hard enough.

 

[YukoValis]

It was an okay review, but the Palin bashing wore pretty thin, pretty quick. Even then, it wasn't very funny.

yeah he needs to bash her more and harder! I thought it was hilarious, then again she is short of a trained monkey.

 

[TeddyBcool2000]

I feel ashamed by getting all the references. Not that old.

 

[beonka]

Hehe I personally liked the Palin jokes. Once again a great review thanks for that Yahtzee!

 

[RTR]

I found the game underwhelming and not all it was cracked up to be. Guess it was pretty rushed.

 

[Biscotti187]

HAHA! Yes I knew the old Yahtzee would come back with his old rage! I felt like he was running thin in the last view episodes but this has completely restored my faith.

 

[Worm104]

Well while I agree with the review there were a few flaws.

Complaining that you have to point off the screen to turn is a rookie mistake as the conduit features a fully customisable deadzone so in fact you could turn millimetres from the centre of the screen and I assume you also didn't know you could remap controls so had a go at the motions which could easily be mapped to buttons while things you don't use could be mapped to motions such as the 180 degree spin you mentioned.

The graphics technology is among the best on wii and better than PS2/Xbox stuff but only in places the developer thinks you will be looking so there are some nice lighting and zoom effects on guns and enemies but there are a few rogue textures around if you hunt for them. It isn't helped by the fact the art style is bland though.

I agree that the BEEP on the ASE is annoying but it is preferential to walking into ghost mines without any sort of alert as you would die each time you reached them or have to have your ASE out at all times. It could have been toned down a little. Oh, and you didn't mention the multiplayer.

 

[Basse]

Can somone please explain to me why the wii isnt a hardcore console and how the ps3 and 360 aparently are. Is the only thing that makes a hardcore console is graphics than shouldnt every hardcore gamer have a pc. And if you dont remember Nintendo's last hardcore console didnt sell well at all. You shouldnt blame them for trying to change the market in their favour.

 

[Abyss Master]

There were some funnies that made me giggle here, but overall I'm starting to get bored. Going into this, I knew that he was going to hate on the console, and I knew that he'd beat the game down in every concievable way (or the predictable three; graphics, story and gameplay). It's already been said that he missed the customization of controls (though it may be that he just didn't find this to be a redeeming factor - or maybe he did and decided it shouldn't be mentioned anyway), and I personally find the graphics to be good, if not boring and bland, but that's irrelevant.

It's also a shame to see that so very few people - Yahtzee included - understand what the Wii really is about.

 

[CrafterMan]

If a game is so bad as to be compared unfavorably to Sarah Palin, something's wrong.

Hahaha exactly, this game was absolute shite. I actually equate the Wii to a lost child in a movie theatre.

It just doesn't really know what to do anymore...

-Joe

 

[Knight Templar]

This is much better than the Wii sports review, maybe because he bashed the game not the console, which was getting tiresome.
fweman is the first (and hopefuly last) person I've ever ignored.

First 3 comments were funny as always.

I think they are trying to get bnned now.