Zero Punctuation: Tomb Raider: Underworld

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Abedeus

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AfricanSwallow said:
Nice to have an episode this week, as opposed to a clip mash-up.


But really... someone needs to step up and say it...

That 'Unskippable' they tag on to the end of every clip is awful.
I mean it's bad.
It's not funny, and that kid's voice is really starting to annoy me when I have to hear it again and again if I try to watch a few older clips.
If I ever hear "Land? On a helipad?" in actual real life conversation I'll probably kill whoever says it.

Come contract time something needs to be signed to keep that crap from getting tagged onto the videos.... or at least change it a halfway decent and entertaining series.
I know ZP increased traffic around 300%, but it's like they decided to balance out the funniest thing on The Escapist with the worst thing on the Escapist, and that's a shame.


AfricanSwallow
You do know this is on every video on the Escapist? I think Unforgotten Realms has it too.

It's just a thing they add at the end of videos. And it isn't author's choice whether to place the ad or not. One time it's Unskippable, the other time is a game commercial (I remember when Warhammer used to be there).
 

Vlane

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FNGLHR said:
Long text
You as a player should think that Lara Croft is a nice character but if you look at what she is doing than she is evil. It's hard to sympathise with a character like that.

The Saints Row 2 main character on the other hand was an asshole right from the start so there is nothing to discover.
 

FNGLHR

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Vlane said:
FNGLHR said:
Long text
You as a player should think that Lara Croft is a nice character but if you look at what she is doing than she is evil. It's hard to sympathise with a character like that.

The Saints Row 2 main character on the other hand was an asshole right from the start so there is nothing to discover.
You missed my point, completely. Like by 20 lightyears.

The point is, Yahtzee can sympathize with an obviously evil GANGBANGER and considers him as just another guy like him who "Wants to have fun" like himself because turning a city into a rat infested hell hole while profiting off of human misery is good natured howdy doody fun. Yet he somehow demeans Lara Croft as evil by far less strict standards. Its not about discovering anything, its about having standards. Yahtzee has proven he has none.

He calls an obviously evil character "Just someone who wants to have fun", while he decides Lara Croft is more evil because she steals artifacts from long dead civilizations and kills people who are, in the game's backstory, described as bad guys. If he thinks that that qualifies as evil and unsympathetic then he should hold up those standards when reviewing Saints Row 2. He didn't.

The fact is, he has no standards. He doesn't do reviews to be informative and funny, he makes them just because he wants to piss people off. He's the epitome of a child at a birthday party pushing the birthday boy or girl in their cake because he wants attention. That was why he called Saints Row 2 superior to GTA IV and thats why he's calling out Lara Croft as Satan's little helper.

Yahtzee is a reviewer, up until this point I thought he wanted to be informative and funny. Now I see he's just trying to give everyone the finger. Of course he's not all to blame. His fans are as much of the problem as well. If Yahtzee isn't tearing down any and every game he reviews then his boot licking fans suddenly hate him for it or dislike the review. Example: Psychonauts. He's forced to be negative, and he doesn't care, as long as people watch his videos.

i don't think he cares really about it. plus you repeated your self alot that he wants to piss fans off.
the only thing i agree is, that it was not a review. there are good things in this game and he din't said anything about it at all. every one is seeing things different, that's true. i think that resident evil 4 is a bad game all over but fans still find it damn good.
One: I repeated myself because that was my friggin point.
Two: By saying he doesn't care about it, you're proving my point. He doesn't care.
Three: By saying this is not a review you're proving my point further. This is just something he made in the hopes of pissing off Lara Croft fanboys.
Four: By saying there are good things in the game he didn't talk about you confirm my point. HE WANTS TO PISS OFF TOMB RAIDER FAN BOYS! Thats why he didn't mention anything good!

Do you get the fugging point now!
 

Taranaich

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Vlane said:
You as a player should think that Lara Croft is a nice character but if you look at what she is doing than she is evil. It's hard to sympathise with a character like that.
Why would you think that? In her introduction video to the first game, we are shown a magazine cover with "LARA STAMPS OUT BIGFOOT!!!", which certainly gives you an idea of her stance on the conservation of endangered species. There's no indication other than a preconception that the main character should be of good moral character (which is regularly dubious in action games anyway) that Croft is a decent human being.

Why should Lara get vilified for being a violent sociopath while the protagonists of GTA, Saints Row and others don't? Do you expect women to be more moral than men by default or something?
 

ElTigreNegro

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PedroSteckecilo said:
antipunt said:
This review is gonna piss of a lot of TR fans lol

but it's so true. Lara's boobs are like giant pink elephant boobs flaoting around in everyone's mind
I didn't know there were any Tomb Raider fans devout enough to be annoyed at someone saying the series sucked. Most Tomb Raider fans are like the saner Sonic fans, they acknowledge that the series is basically dead and play the new games purely for the sake of brand loyalty and nostalgia.
I think the proper word here is not loyalty, masochism fits better

Anyway, good video, he didn't say anything i didn't know about the franchise already, but still quite fun.
 

Hamster at Dawn

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Mar 19, 2008
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Chickenlittle said:
Hamster at Dawn said:
Loved the lactose intolerant hindu and the autistic kid hooked up to an IV of sherbet. That's pure comedy gold right there.
Great start to 2009!
Funny, if he was on an actual comedy show, he wouldn't last 5 episodes.
You've never watched Fox have you?
 

hoskie

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Amen to the jab regarding Michael Atkinson. I'm not even Australian and I worry about him (... and people like him and what their presence means for the future of the internet and the gaming industry). D:
 

NewClassic_v1legacy

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FNGLHR said:
Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.
One thing I'd like to point out is that you're comparing these two characters out of context. The world of Stillwater (Saints Row 2) is largely satirical, with the plot and events being over-the-top in a sort of Godfather and Early GTA series sort of way. It's the sort of world that has a laugh at its own expense.

Because of this, the maniacal protagonist is just as over-the-top as the setting, while still framing itself with the narrative of Saints Row 2, and being absurd, Hollywood-esque, and fun.

Contrast that with Lara Croft, an archeologist who is competing with other archeologists in a very realistic universe. The bizarre, wacky, and colorful tone is not prevalent (or at all present [http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a395/NewClassic/Kittens/scratch_me.jpg]) in Tomb Raider. It is written as a bit of modern fiction. Whereas Saints Row is written as a satire and parody.

By the same criteria, have a look at Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series, and compare him to the main character from the Metal Slug Series. The comparison is ill-fit, because the universes are so wholly different. I appreciate the logic and effort, but the circle peg cannot be judged invalid because it is being shoved through the square hole.

AfricanSwallow said:
But really... someone needs to step up and say it...

That 'Unskippable' they tag on to the end of every clip is awful.
I mean it's bad. Come contract time something needs to be signed to keep that crap from getting tagged onto the videos.... or at least change it a halfway decent and entertaining series.
I know ZP increased traffic around 300%, but it's like they decided to balance out the funniest thing on The Escapist with the worst thing on the Escapist, and that's a shame.
This is awfully presumptuous of you. I agree that your opinion should be voiced, but commanding this sort of tone in such a blatantly derogatory manner is rather off-putting.
 

Metalrocks

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i don't think he cares really about it. plus you repeated your self alot that he wants to piss fans off.
the only thing i agree is, that it was not a review. there are good things in this game and he din't said anything about it at all. every one is seeing things different, that's true. i think that resident evil 4 is a bad game all over but fans still find it damn good.
One: I repeated myself because that was my friggin point.
Two: By saying he doesn't care about it, you're proving my point. He doesn't care.
Three: By saying this is not a review you're proving my point further. This is just something he made in the hopes of pissing off Lara Croft fanboys.
Four: By saying there are good things in the game he didn't talk about you confirm my point. HE WANTS TO PISS OFF TOMB RAIDER FAN BOYS! Thats why he didn't mention anything good!

Do you get the fugging point now![/quote]

i did get your point and i am not saing that you are wrong or something. all i was saing is, that you repeated your self a lot. nothing else.
anyway, we are talking about the same thing and agree with each other. so let's not argue about it. OK?
 

FNGLHR

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NewClassic said:
FNGLHR said:
Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.
One thing I'd like to point out is that you're comparing these two characters out of context. The world of Stillwater (Saints Row 2) is largely satirical, with the plot and events being over-the-top in a sort of Godfather and Early GTA series sort of way. It's the sort of world that has a laugh at its own expense.

Because of this, the maniacal protagonist is just as over-the-top as the setting, while still framing itself with the narrative of Saints Row 2, and being absurd, Hollywood-esque, and fun.

Contrast that with Lara Croft, an archeologist who is competing with other archeologists in a very realistic universe. The bizarre, wacky, and colorful tone is not prevalent (or at all present [http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a395/NewClassic/Kittens/scratch_me.jpg]) in Tomb Raider. It is written as a bit of modern fiction. Whereas Saints Row is written as a satire and parody.

By the same criteria, have a look at Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series, and compare him to the main character from the Metal Slug Series. The comparison is ill-fit, because the universes are so wholly different. I appreciate the logic and effort, but the circle peg cannot be judged invalid because it is being shoved through the square hole.
Its the same thing, it doesn't matter how satirical or colorful the world is. The fact is Lara Croft can't get away with killing stuff where the plot describes her adversaries as villains. Whereas the Saints Row's main character can in Yahtzee's eyes.

Metal Gear and Metal Slug DO NOT COUNT because the damn games both allow you to play as good guys, one that just makes things go over the top more then usual. And even Metal Gear devolves into self-parody sometimes.

It doesn't matter whether or not its modern fiction or satire/parody, the fact is the main character of Saint's Row 2 is a fucking degenerate! It doesn't matter if he's placed in stupid silly situations or made ultra serious and realistic. He is not, by Yahtzee's standards, just another guy trying to have fun!

And that wasn't my point, like so many you continue to miss the point. My point is, Yahtzee has no standards when it comes to these games. This review proves that. He is only in it to see how many fan boys he can piss off in one video. I cannot honestly trust a reviewer who will just say anything because he wants to act like an asshole for attention. He rarely gives good reviews, when he does no body seems to like them as much. Over time he's just devolved into "Lets see how I can make this game seem like its the worst I've ever played so its fan base will send me that hate mail and ramp up my viewer count."

I cannot honestly believe that he actually thinks Saints Row 2's main character is more sympathetic then Niko Bellic or Lara Croft. It doesn't matter if its satire, he can still find more to like about that character then others who are far more deserving of praise. He only said those things because he knew it would piss people off if he talked about how a mediocre clone game was better then GTA IV... which it isn't. Saint's Row 2 is a stupid clone of a far superior game, that is nothing more then a huge pointless shoot-em up that does nothing to advance gaming as an artform but simply degrades it. The game falls into all the stereotypes people label GTA with. Its characters are painfully 2 dimensional and all of them are extremely unlikable.

Explain to me WHY I should want to help these people take back Stillwater? So THEY can sell the drugs and kill everybody?

The point I'm trying to make, and repeating over and over again because you're yet another person who doesn't get it, is Yahtzee doesn't care about giving a game its due anymore, he only cares about being as outrageous as possible. Its why he gave a "Good ridance" to Metal Gear solid 4, gave a huge friggin finger to almost every game he reviewed this year and stuck Saints Row 2 with his game of the year award. He wanted to piss people off, he didn't care about being an informative reviewer. He doesn't care about the games anymore, its all about how many people he can give the finger to.

i did get your point and i am not saing that you are wrong or something. all i was saing is, that you repeated your self a lot. nothing else.
anyway, we are talking about the same thing and agree with each other. so let's not argue about it. OK?
Yes, okay. Fine. Perhaps I over reacted. I'm sorry if I took your words the wrong way and apologize for what I said to you. I didn't understand that you sorta agreed with me. I'm sorry for attacking you the way I did. It was wrong of me.
 

12th_milkshake

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this review is like crossing the road just to kick a spaz. Good all the same just well... we kinda knew it wasn't any good. And now edios actually announced they need new ideas and look for lara. Shouldn't someone point out they should have been doing that for the last 6years?
 

Berndawg69

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12th_milkshake said:
this review is like crossing the road just to kick a spaz. Good all the same just well... we kinda knew it wasn't any good. And now edios actually announced they need new ideas and look for lara. Shouldn't someone point out they should have been doing that for the last 6years?
does it even matter?, if they want to waste time and money, let them, i'm not buying any tomb raider games soon, if enough people do what i do, then the franchise might die with a little dignity left.... oh wait too late for that.
 

Lyiat

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For all of you who keep saying that Yahtzee is mearly a professional troll and he does no such thing as give a good review... Did you guys bother to check the Braid Review? How about Psychonauts? He will give a game a good review if he believes it deserves it. He just has the absolute strictest standards.

And I will point out to the man blowing up about Saints Row 2...

Lara Croft is supposed to be a good guy.
Protagonist from Saints Row is not.
 

Berndawg69

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Nov 19, 2008
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FNGLHR said:
NewClassic said:
FNGLHR said:
Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.
One thing I'd like to point out is that you're comparing these two characters out of context. The world of Stillwater (Saints Row 2) is largely satirical, with the plot and events being over-the-top in a sort of Godfather and Early GTA series sort of way. It's the sort of world that has a laugh at its own expense.

Because of this, the maniacal protagonist is just as over-the-top as the setting, while still framing itself with the narrative of Saints Row 2, and being absurd, Hollywood-esque, and fun.

Contrast that with Lara Croft, an archeologist who is competing with other archeologists in a very realistic universe. The bizarre, wacky, and colorful tone is not prevalent (or at all present [http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a395/NewClassic/Kittens/scratch_me.jpg]) in Tomb Raider. It is written as a bit of modern fiction. Whereas Saints Row is written as a satire and parody.

By the same criteria, have a look at Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series, and compare him to the main character from the Metal Slug Series. The comparison is ill-fit, because the universes are so wholly different. I appreciate the logic and effort, but the circle peg cannot be judged invalid because it is being shoved through the square hole.
Its the same thing, it doesn't matter how satirical or colorful the world is. The fact is Lara Croft can't get away with killing stuff where the plot describes her adversaries as villains. Whereas the Saints Row's main character can in Yahtzee's eyes.

Metal Gear and Metal Slug DO NOT COUNT because the damn games both allow you to play as good guys, one that just makes things go over the top more then usual. And even Metal Gear devolves into self-parody sometimes.

It doesn't matter whether or not its modern fiction or satire/parody, the fact is the main character of Saint's Row 2 is a fucking degenerate! It doesn't matter if he's placed in stupid silly situations or made ultra serious and realistic. He is not, by Yahtzee's standards, just another guy trying to have fun!

And that wasn't my point, like so many you continue to miss the point. My point is, Yahtzee has no standards when it comes to these games. This review proves that. He is only in it to see how many fan boys he can piss off in one video. I cannot honestly trust a reviewer who will just say anything because he wants to act like an asshole for attention. He rarely gives good reviews, when he does no body seems to like them as much. Over time he's just devolved into "Lets see how I can make this game seem like its the worst I've ever played so its fan base will send me that hate mail and ramp up my viewer count."

I cannot honestly believe that he actually thinks Saints Row 2's main character is more sympathetic then Niko Bellic or Lara Croft. It doesn't matter if its satire, he can still find more to like about that character then others who are far more deserving of praise. He only said those things because he knew it would piss people off if he talked about how a mediocre clone game was better then GTA IV... which it isn't. Saint's Row 2 is a stupid clone of a far superior game, that is nothing more then a huge pointless shoot-em up that does nothing to advance gaming as an artform but simply degrades it. The game falls into all the stereotypes people label GTA with. Its characters are painfully 2 dimensional and all of them are extremely unlikable.

Explain to me WHY I should want to help these people take back Stillwater? So THEY can sell the drugs and kill everybody?

The point I'm trying to make, and repeating over and over again because you're yet another person who doesn't get it, is Yahtzee doesn't care about giving a game its due anymore, he only cares about being as outrageous as possible. Its why he gave a "Good ridance" to Metal Gear solid 4, gave a huge friggin finger to almost every game he reviewed this year and stuck Saints Row 2 with his game of the year award. He wanted to piss people off, he didn't care about being an informative reviewer. He doesn't care about the games anymore, its all about how many people he can give the finger to.

i did get your point and i am not saing that you are wrong or something. all i was saing is, that you repeated your self a lot. nothing else.
anyway, we are talking about the same thing and agree with each other. so let's not argue about it. OK?
Yes, okay. Fine. Perhaps I over reacted. I'm sorry if I took your words the wrong way and apologize for what I said to you. I didn't understand that you sorta agreed with me. I'm sorry for attacking you the way I did. It was wrong of me.
wow, what a big waste of web space, you two should think of going to couples counseling, and not getting into a huge discussion about yahtzee's views, the man gets paid to express his opinions, your just jealous of that fact and are hoping that you can be as big of entertainment as he is by countering him, there are more important things happening in the world and you seem to be just loving the sound of your own voices, get a room and stop crowding the threads with your garbage, i come on this site to be entertained and the only entertainment i'm getting at the moment is telling you how obliviously retarded you sound.
 

Metalrocks

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wow, what a big waste of web space, you two should think of going to couples counseling, and not getting into a huge discussion about yahtzee's views, the man gets paid to express his opinions, your just jealous of that fact and are hoping that you can be as big of entertainment as he is by countering him, there are more important things happening in the world and you seem to be just loving the sound of your own voices, get a room and stop crowding the threads with your garbage, i come on this site to be entertained and the only entertainment i'm getting at the moment is telling you how obliviously retarded you sound.[/quote]

you are too nice to us. :D
opinion fine and good but this is a review after all. you have to review good and bad points and this game has some good once.
 

invitationofchaos

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Jan 11, 2009
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after playing this i just have one thing to add:

how the hell is she a "tomb raider" when she breaks every-fucking-thing in sight? isn't the point to being a treasure hunter to NOT BREAK ANYTHING in the ancient, ruins unentered for thousands of years until her happy ass showed up?

fuck "tomb raider"
she should be called "porn star looking for shiny things to hide in her clevage"
 

LazyAza

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May 28, 2008
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I watch yahtzees videos to get a good laugh, nothing more nothing less. Some have been funnier than others that's for sure but I don't think they're getting stale at all. If I want to see a 'real' review of a game then I'll go to 1up, or gametrailers or gamespot or ign, that's what those sites are for after all. Instead of spewing out a list of ups and downs about games yahtzee chooses to nitpick things he likes or doesn't like about them and write humorous scrips.

If your watching his videos and expecting to find 100% full proof logic in his opinions then your a fool and missing the entire point of ZP. He knows what he says is exaggerated, he knows alot of it is going to piss some people off. That's WHY he does it, to be different, to be original and to be an entertaining asshole. Being entertaining has nothing to do with being right or wrong.

In my opinion however in this instance he isn't wrong, tomb raider is and always has been a big steaming turd of a series. The fanboys can argue all they want about this, but the fact is the games have always been buggy, always been too similar and not innovative enough and lara croft has always been a pair of boobs attached to a stick, completely devoid of any interesting characteristics whatsoever. Hell I don't even think shes attractive, shes a freaking barbie doll with a man-jaw.

Underworld bombed in sales and the employees paid the price, most of them got fired if you hadn't heard. Yet they STILL want to keep the series going, I mean seriously how much more dead can the horse get?

Oh how I wish for another 'super smash bros' zp review, the more people that get pissed off the better :)