Zombie Apocalypse scenario: What will you do?

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wintercoat

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Nov 26, 2011
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I'll die. I weigh ~300 pounds, am out of shape, can't run to save my life, have no weapons training, and have what amounts to maybe a couple of weeks worth of food, if rationed.

I'm more realistic than the average forum-goer, who thinks they'd be rockin the apocalypse high-life. I laugh every time I see somebody say they'd be slaughtering zombies with their katana they bought online.
 

MajorTomServo

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Jan 31, 2011
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Black out the windows, load up my shotgun, and wait it out I guess. Anything longer than three weeks and I'd kill myself.
 

Armored Prayer

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Mar 10, 2009
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I just simply stock up and hide in a Costco.

Remember that crappy Dane Cook movie where he worked in one and the crew made a secret room in one of the large shelves between all the boxes? Pretty much that.
 

ecoho

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Jun 16, 2010
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um id drive north for 2 hours to the gaurd armory (which is the smaller of the 3 in the state and least likely to be used) seal the door for a week after that leave with as much firepower as i can carry and take back my town.
 

Owyn_Merrilin

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May 22, 2010
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Survivor of three games of HvZ, two of which the humans won, here. Considering that I was able to sneak around fast zombies with full human thought capacity, and helped to develop highly effective anti-zed tactics (hint: circling the wagons and walking slowly is borderline OP when you've got guns and your opponents are melee only), I think I'd do okay as long as the guns and ammo held out. The problem is that that won't be indefinite, melee is messy (and if this is a blood born disease, seriously dangerous), and I don't exactly know how to make a longbow and arrows, nor possess the skill to hit a head sized target at range. In other words, survival depends entirely on whether the cavalry can be expected to come, or if the world has already been knocked back to the stone age.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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Lagao said:
You are correct, attempting to rush into such a situation would quickly get you killed, even if you know what you are doing as the military presumably does, as would buttoning up and hoping your supplies outlast the horde.

However, not only is this just a topic to have fun with, not all of us think we're Rambo. Yes, the scenario I outlined above has me armed to the teeth, but if all goes well, not only would I hardly be using those weapons at all, but feeding myself won't be an issue even years down the road. I can't claim to be a combat expert, I'm a pretty good marksman but am well aware that there is a big life threatening difference between the two. However, living off the land while avoiding human contact is something I've done before, and can do again.

Frankly, if I can get past that long stretch of dangerous travel, the biggest danger i'll face is A.) going crazy due to lack of contact, and B.) losing/ breaking some vital piece of equipment I can't replace on my own that forces me to trudge to the nearest city again.
 

Owyn_Merrilin

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May 22, 2010
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Heronblade said:
Lagao said:
You are correct, attempting to rush into such a situation would quickly get you killed, even if you know what you are doing as the military presumably does, as would buttoning up and hoping your supplies outlast the horde.

However, not only is this just a topic to have fun with, not all of us think we're Rambo. Yes, the scenario I outlined above has me armed to the teeth, but if all goes well, not only would I hardly be using those weapons at all, but feeding myself won't be an issue even years down the road. I can't claim to be a combat expert, but living off the land while avoiding human contact is something I've done before, and can do again.

Frankly, if I can get past that long stretch of dangerous travel, the biggest danger i'll face is going crazy due to lack of contact.
One of the first things I learned while playing HvZ: People who think they're Rambo almost always die. People who think they're Solid Snake almost never do, especially if they're with a well trained squad.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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Seeing as zombies decay fast and are stupid I'd do fine. To enter my apartment I need to enter 5 doors. 3 of them by card key, to by normal key and walk up 5 floors (or take the elevator). I have enough food to live for at least a week stashed here so I'd never be in danger.
 

Crazy

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Oct 4, 2011
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Banish myself to the sun or something.

PS: You're all going to die one way or another. Most, if not all of you will not survive a zombie apocalypse.
 

Teh Jammah

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Nov 13, 2010
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I for one would welcome our new rotting overlords, since I'd probably die pretty quick.

That or sleep through it. One or the other.
 

CoL0sS

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Nov 2, 2010
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Rawne1980 said:
First i'd buy some earplugs.

Then i'd play Celine Dion songs incredibly loud.

I'd then watch out of my window as zombie heads explode, unable to take the horror that is being forced on their ears.
Funny, but is it Zombie Kill of the Week ? :p

OT: Shit dude, you sound really prepared.

I'd probably find the longest, sharpest knife/meat cleaver I have, equip 3 layers of clothes with homemade protective gear and motorcycle helmet and go in search of some supplies and better firepower. That is until I realize we're talking about 28 days later L4D zombies and I fail at first rule of Zombieland.
 

Daverson

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Nov 17, 2009
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All you need to survive is a clear plan of how to get out of the danger zones (read: cities, etc.). Hell, if you live in the countryside you don't even need that, all you need to do is put the kettle on and wait for the whole thing to blow over!

Yeah, high-tech weapons from 15 minutes into the future are fun and all, but look at where "Wunderwaffe" got the 3rd Reich...
 

BOOM headshot65

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Jul 7, 2011
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That depends, what kind of zombies we talkin about? "Night of the living Dead" or "Left 4 Dead"? I will just say the classic "Living Dead" zombie.

Step 1: Make sure the 12-guage is clean and loaded with slugs.
Step 2: Invite in my girlfriend, friends, family, and other farmers in the area. (this will total less than 100 people).
Step 3: Set up thick metal wall around the 20 acres I live on.
Step 4: Set up wind turbine to provide power, dig well, and run septic as far away as possible (manure??)
Step 5: Plant wheat, corn, potatos, tomatos, and squash (they all grow here), and have some cattle.
Step 6: Hide behind wall while zombies bang away outside. However, the wall is too thick for them to break it down.
Step 7: Set up wild-west style government to watch over the town of "New America". The flag will continue to be the US flag.
Step 8:
 

Da Orky Man

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Apr 24, 2011
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Realistically? I'd grab the bayonet I have in my drawer, the small first-aid kit, and pelt down to the local supermarket, which fortunately has a gun shop nearby. Only air rifles and shotguns though, few guns in the UK.
 

The Heik

King of the Nael
Oct 12, 2008
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Heronblade said:
Wow, that is a lot of thought you've put in there. Shame you've forgotten the most important aspect of preparation: Mass. Even when you don't consider all the ancillary gear and backup weapons that you'd have to load in the FED (which might not even fit in it), the main armament you'd be carrying about (plus extra ammunition and tools) would weigh between 25-50 pounds, which makes moving around not only difficult but uncomfortable as well. You'd pass out trying to lug all that around should things go belly up, even if you try to minimize what you carry and stick to your vehicle for most travel.

It's far more preferable to simply wear some boiled leather (which you can get at any sports shop that offers motorcycle equipment), as it's a fraction of the weight of your armor, fluid-proof, relatively easy to wear, and still retains a decent amount of protection against bites (humans don't really have a jaw strong enough to bite through most heavy leathers without requiring a fair bit of time to chew, and if you let a zombie munch on you for that long, you've got bigger problems than simple protection). Add to that a shortbow or crossbow with about 30 arrows/bolts and a crowbar, and you've got a renewable armament that's not only silent and utilitarian but at less than 15 pounds wouldn't even wear out a schoolkid on a long traverse (say for example if your car ran out of gas).

Of course, the entire situation is rendered moot because the zombie apocalypse situation wouldn't last a month. The reason? Because zombies aren't a long term threat.

The most traditional form of a zombie is a corpse, and one thing that every corpse does is decay. After about three weeks of decay in open air there would be nothing left of the undead buggers except a bunch of bones and the few rags they were wearing. Even the more realistic "infected" idea of zombies wouldn't work either, because they're limited by the same biological requirements as we regular humans are. They'd starve within weeks of being infected, as their primary food source becomes rare insanely quickly after Z-day and they lack any form of proper hunting skills necessary to catch other prey. Hell help them if the ZA occurs in a winter environment, as they'd be frozen solid within hours, and the whole ordeal would be over in a matter of days.

So really all I have to do is go to my local grocery store, fill up a minivan with water bottles, canned goods, and some reading material, hightail it to a place with strong lockable doors (4eg a police station) and I can quite literally wait out the Apocalypse.
 

Don Savik

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Aug 27, 2011
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Daystar Clarion said:
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Daystar Clarion said:
I have no combat, survival or weapon training.
You just need an AA12 bro. That weapon is easy to use and impossible to break.
Sure, I'll just pop down to the AA12 shop around the corner...
Funny thing is you can probably do that in the US.

lolmerica
While we have awesome stores like Cabelas and other various hunting/gun stores, in an apocalypse setting they would be the first to be raided by hundreds of angry rednecks that don't care about your well-being....

and probably aren't above murder for a weapon.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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The Heik said:
Heronblade said:
Wow, that is a lot of thought you've put in there. Shame you've forgotten the most important aspect of preparation: Mass. Even when you don't consider all the ancillary gear and backup weapons that you'd have to load in the FED (which might not even fit in it), the main armament you'd be carrying about (plus extra ammunition and tools) would weigh between 25-50 pounds, which makes moving around not only difficult but uncomfortable as well. You'd pass out trying to lug all that around should things go belly up, even if you try to minimize what you carry and stick to your vehicle for most travel.
-I have no intention of carrying everything around with me, only having it available if a situation calls for it. The riot gear for example would only be donned if poking into a close quarters area. I'm also a big strong guy used to lugging crap around to little purpose.
-I've packed for major outdoor trips using a vehicle roughly the size of the FED before, the guns, armor, and compact generators being the only items I haven't had to account for before. Somehow I think I can get them to fit into the roughly 40 cubic feet of space I normally leave empty (to be later filled by other campers and their personal stuff)
-When push comes to shove, that list is what I would take if all preparations go perfectly (a somewhat unlikely scenario all things considered), fully intending to leave some behind if and when necessary. If forced to pare that list down only to the absolute bare essentials, I could still make the plan work with a little extra luck while bringing only a hiking bag filled with 60 lbs of gear. Of course, I would be stealing a few cars from the dead on the way, and scavenging quite a bit more than intended in that case, both actions increase the risk substantially. Also, if that occurs, I might actually change gears and head south, hot weather gear has less mass and bulk to them, and heat can do the same job cold will, although not nearly as cleanly.
 

gundamrx101

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Nov 19, 2010
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chainmail shark suit. Can't bite through that.

Grab a machete.

Get an array of knives.

Then move from place to place, boarding up buildings then repeating.

Fool proof!