It's like conspiracy theorists. The evo-psych crowd think that they've found this amazing unified theory to human nature and behavior. That the fields of anthropology, sociology, psychology, ethics, biology and more can all be connected and explained by a series of assumptions about Paleolithic humanity and their day-to-day life.
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- Thread starter Specter Von Baren
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Jesus Christ... sometimes I wonder if some people are just utterly incapable of forming personal relationships with other human beings.
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Garbage. None of what you stated is even remotely true. Women want a man who loves them for who they are as a person, to be special and important to them, not have some lying, cheating douchebag as you suggest. Women want a man who treats others with genuine kindness and concern for others because that means they will treat their children with love and kindness as well. A guy already having children with another woman is baggage, not a benefit, as you know that you and your children will not be their only priority and you will have to be willing to plan your life around his already existing family because you also have to be willing to become a part of that family. That is far more than most women are willing to take on. Women want a man to themselves, not community property. You have absolutely no clue what women want if you can even say any of that with straight face. Even thinking that about women would make them run from you like we are on fire. I have no idea how anyone can convince themselves of any of the nonsense you just spouted off, as that is exactly how you make women run as far away from you as humanly possible.
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No, it does not prove anything he stated. All it proves is that some guys put forth more effort than others. The guys putting forth the effort are usually also the guys who are getting the dates.
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Unwanted attention is unwanted attention. I legitimately feel intimidated by almost every woman I see. So if a woman starts looking at me and fears me for some reason, I'm in big trouble. A situation can go bad for me as a situation can go bad for a female.
A female's sexual interest isn't scarce. There's just more weight that comes with sex. No matter how many times I would have sex with a woman, my body wouldn't change. I wouldn't have a lifeform growing in me. My very being wouldn't be co-opted by a biological furthering of my dna. And condoms aren't a sure thing. My God daughter is a testament to that. She is loved. She is cherished, but she was not planned. And actively broke through the attempts of creating her.
When you have more danger from a situation than another person, you act differently. On a road trip with friends, I constantly have to explain why I don't feel comfortable stopping at a little place to eat and how I only feel comfortable getting Burger King and Roy Rogers on 95. I'm not a fast food guy, but I don't have to worry about walking into an eatery that are full of people that might not like me intruding on them.
There's simply more of an impact with sex for women than men. That doesn't denote scarcity. That denotes aforethought. Is this guy worth the risk? If something happens, would he step up? CAN he step up? Sex for women is fraught with dangers and repercussions that men don't ever have to truly deal with. To ignore that part and think it is just a different level of sex drive is not seeing the issue at hand.
Wow.
There's so much to unpack here.
I never used tinder, so I don't know how it works. I have used Dating sites. And I've had women tell me that while my pictures made them curious, my profile is what made them reach out to me or respond when I sent them a message.
And when we talk about hundreds of messages, are we talking about what is the content of these messages are?
Is it "Hi"
"What's up?"
"Girl, dat ass be banging"
If I got these messages, I would not feel compelled to respond to them. Even if I would get a 'sex reward'.
I mean, the majority of comments here are for the sexual end game. That was never my end game. Hell, we saw at the thread about things that weird you out a little.
I enjoy it. If I have a woman I care for, it's always on the table if we're both in the mood. But again, she'll be more in the mood with me than some random stranger because she knows what she's going to get from me. That this isn't going to be a one time sex dance. She's going to know that I respect her, that I'm here for her, and that's going to make her more at ease with sating her sexual desire with me.
And there are plenty of women who just want sex as well. There are sex hook up sites as well. But you mentioned Tinder. A Dating Website. And you're mainly talking about sexual need. Do you see the problem there? Sex is just one aspect of Dating. Mutual interests, Shared culture, Interest in a different culture, hobbies, media, there's a gambit of things that actually form relationships, and sex and attraction are just two aspects of them. Important, but not enough to base a relationship on it.
If one is looking for websites for casual hook ups, there are sites for that. Find them. Go for them.
Ok. Now, I'm so confused about the survival of the fittest stuff. This feels like we're straying in a conversation about Eugenics. And I don't know if that's where we should be now... or ever.
No, no. I'm sure that's a conversation that should never be had.
Evo-psych goes to some very dark places very quickly the more you actually think about it. I personally think it's just an effort by insecure men to give themselves a degree of absolution for their poor life choices. "I'm not a creep! It's my natural male instincts! Why is society oppressing me?"
Oh my goodness. I don't intend this to sound mean, but you really should get to know more women.
From your perspective you are completely right. But attraction is pre-cognitive, you only find a very select few men attractive and this has nothing to do with 'who put in the most effort' even if you like to convince yourself with that to feel special. And guess what? Women are not unique in their preference which men they find attractive. Again, 80% of women only find 20% of men attractive. This is the mere reason why there are so many frustrated incels. I also feel that men who despise incels the most are actually the ones rejecting they could be incels themselves. They simply represent a universal despair.
I'm not incel myself but I completely agree with incels that dating is just much harder for men. For simple supply & demand reasons. Again, anyone who claims otherwise is simply a moron.
The majority of human history has been pretty fucking shitty for all involved.
If large chunks of the population have now come to the conclusion that marrying for love is better than marrying to lessen the already fairly minimal chances of starving to death or being ganked by roaming hordes it might be time to follow along with them.
I do. I have more than sufficient experience. I even dated a model for a few years. Again, I'm not talking down on women. It's just my honest thoughts how I feel men and women differ from one another. It's just much harder for men simple as that.
Yea, trying to tell me that the guy who wrote me letters, poems every single day for over a year and leaving me sentimental gifts of little value, but actually showed they knew me and understood me as a person before I would go out with him somehow has nothing to do with effort... Mhmm. The guys you seem to think I am attracted to are also the same ones who I would not trust to let anywhere near me. Seriously, you REALLY need to interact with more women. Of course you are going to have superficial women who are the perfect match for superficial men, but really that is a much smaller percentage of the population. Did you read the study I linked earlier that showed how women value kindness above all else? Some men may get away with lying and faking kindness and such for a brief period of time, but they are not going to be able to keep up the act to sustain a long term relationship. Women do not want a long term relationship with liars and cheats. usually when a woman dates a man like that, she learns exactly what to look out for to avoid to keep from making that mistake again. Women viewing those guys as " mistakes" is not making the case of that " being what a woman wants" that is instead " what a woman DUMPS".
In saying that emotions like attraction, anger, love and joy are precognitive, you are claiming that you have an emotional reaction to something before it actually happens.
Another reason why evo-psych is bullshit. It asserts that any data contradicting its assertions must be either erroneous or falsified in some manner. Which you might recognize as being nonscientific.
Or, and I'm not saying this to be a dick, maybe you have some really self-sabotaging ideas about how relationships work.
Oh please, this makes you sound like you need to interact with more women even more. Saying I "dated a model once' does not somehow change HOW you interact with women, nor is a testament to " understanding women more than we understand ourselves". Women are NOTHING like your opinion of them, hell most men are not like your opinion of them as well. maybe you need to interact with more humans in general, like more " couples nights" volunteering for charities so you can actually experience and see the deep friendships and genuinely loving, compassionate relationships that people actually have for one another.
Claus Wedekind - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
They didn't know the guy. They didn't fall in love with the guy. But they were sexually attracted. This is one of the ways in which attraction is precognitive. He's not claiming that people know the future, or that people have Minority Report style powers. He's referring to a biological process that happens before we are aware of it.
Pheromones prove what exactly? We do not decide who we want to spend our lives on pheromones alone. Women can also be turned on by certain colognes and turned off by others,. What is that supposed to prove, that some men have good taste in cologne? Men tell me my natural scent smells like coconuts. Does that suddenly mean that all men will want to date me even if we have nothing else in common? It is garbage to take that and think it suddenly means more than it does. There are a number of factors that impact attraction that are not related to appearance or pheromones as well. They can be the sexiest smelling guy on earth, but also be repulsive to me if they open their mouth and say something stupid.Claus Wedekind - Wikipedia
They didn't know the guy. They didn't fall in love with the guy. But they were sexually attracted. This is one of the ways in which attraction is precognitive. He's not claiming that people know the future, or that people have Minority Report style powers. He's referring to a biological process that happens before we are aware of it.
An element of precognitive attraction.
"Am I attracted to this person?" and "do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person?" are two different questions.
Nobody is saying that, though. Please don't jump to conclusions.
And to be clear, MRAs, this goes for men, too. I don't care how pretty a girl is, if she's talking about how she just plain doesn't like black people or thinks the Earth is flat or that banana is the best ice cream flavor, I've already checked out. We have nothing in common, and I'm not going to even attempt a hookup with someone I wouldn't trust to know my street address.
Maybe this is down to use of language but...
I've never dated a woman for more than about a month, because by that time we've either worked out that we aren't right for each other, or we've got into a deeper relationship.
For a lot of people dating is only the most surface level of a relationship and if it becomes clear that that surface level is about the extent of someones interests, someone who is looking for more than that is quite likely to move on very quickly.
I'm not saying that only being interested in dating or sex with someone makes you a bad person, but people who want something more aren't going to waste the heartache on it.
And just where does this statistic come from, precisely?
I don't think some people here understand what precognitive means.
You appear to be talking about receiving some sort of external stimulus. But that stimulus generates thoughts. And that is what cognition is.