Recent content by Ace Jackson

What about Crunchblood Soup? That sounds cool. Or Infernal Fungi of Halitosis X. Yeah. Or maybe Colonpuss Jenkins and the Demons of Narcolepsy? Or Shovelface Oxycontin? Or Stranglepunch Icefoot and The Cybertronic Velociraptors From The Billionth Circle of Hell?

I'd take Ringo Starr, Jean-Luc Picard, Ben Affleck, and Sailor Moon.

I would have to power to control all of the molecules in my body and their properties, allowing me to absorb and fuse with matter along with changing my molecules' properties to the aformentioned absorbed/fused matter's properties. So, I could grab a piece of metal, absorb the metal, turn my arm...

Angus Macfayden. He did a good job as a crazy eccentric bad guy in Warriors of Virtue, so why not?

Cornelius McFluffykins. Captain Fuzzybritches. Admiral Shnookums. Hugo. President Dwight D. Fluffsenhower. Spigot. Sheetcake. Junky. Orloff. Boris. Spimpy. Chico and The Man. Ringo. Ubercutsieshtollengraff. Lavernious. Antidisestablishmentarianismey. Spot.

When I was going to a private Christian school, my Bible teacher (who, by coincidence, was also the principal/administrator) said, in retaliation to hypothetical people saying that Christians worshipped a dead guy, that Buddhists worshipped a dead guy and no one called them out on it.

Why the Crack Fox, of course. "I'm gonna make you wear a dress and hurt you." Creepy, but funny.

There was an AIDS hospice I visited in Manhattan last summer. That place was pretty beautiful. You know, what they did and stuff, and how the people were. I thought it was beautiful, anyway. But if you're talking about stuff to look at, I would say a view of a sunset from the top of a hill at a...

I won't be dressing up for Halloween this year, OR giving out candy to kids and creepy 18-year-olds, it's perfectly good candy, I'm not just going to give it away. I'll just be staying in, watching crappy sci-fi channel original movies and putting into motion some indigestion that will last two...

Personally, I thought it was better when it wasn't being overtly political. It didn't really matter if I agreed or disagreed with it's political standpoint, it just got annoying and smug after a while. And Peter was funnier when he was just stupid instead of random.

One time, Uncle Blapidurdy took some pixey dust, liquified it, and drank it, but unbeknownst to him, an Orrelian Splarklibasricandii splorked in it when he wasn't looking, and he transformed into Kirstie Alley, went on a baby-killing rampage, went to prison, and got Space Polio.

Breaking your neck attempting to perform auto-fellatio.

It's that feeling you get when you do something that is morally questionable, wait a while, and regret not bragging about it at the time the said questionable deed was done.

Yes, and it was suprisingly easy. Well, maybe not suprisingly, both of my parents are heavy sleepers, but easy nonetheless. And I only snuck out because the school I lived across from, as a whole, was being shitty to my now ex-girlfriend, so I saw fit to deface private property with crass...

I was picked on throughout most of my elementary years and a bit in junior high probably because I was always heavier than the other kids, but since then I got bigger and taller, so even though I may be heavy now, I am also a bit threatening. Not overtly so, but enough to not get crap. Besides...