10 *subtle* ways to tell her she's too fat

[aaronmcc]

So my question is - what do you think of this article? Do you actually feel these tips would be helpful if this became an issue in a relationship?

The scariest thing about this article is the comments below it. There are a few women and men on there who think it's a great list. One of particular note is Frank Johnston. From his posts all I can conclude is that he is either a liar or his poor wife is a doormat, but he is most definitely a ****.

 

[Liberaliter]

LOL. Why is everyone taking this article so seriously? How could you get angry about this, it's clearly partly joking.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

At least they got good points with "starting you own workout" and "change your own diet".
Cause when shes improving her physique, you got to offer something of similar quality.
Thats the big downside here. I have to do something again...meh.

 

[lovetropicana]

The one about making your own diet and exercise plan isnt that bad - you're not going to be a fat slob eating junk food while demanding that she diet, you'll be doing it together, who knows, you might even grow closer
But yes, a lot of those will turn you into a single man
But what does askmen care about getting dumped, if you're single and wanting a partner chances are you'll need to scour that site for more tips on how to pick up rich/successful/beautiful/etc women and they'll get more business, i guess

 

[biofiend]

I wonder how many people are going to post to the effect of "I agree, that's a crass article." Are there any other, more interesting, opinions?

The author of that article was almost fed to wolves, when the wolves realized that stupidity causes cancer, they were smart enough not to eat him.

What do you expect someone to say? "That article was dead on, fat chicks need to burned in a fire?" This site doesn't get nearly enough trolls for that, and there isn't a flame shield strong enough to block the abuse. He would probably post porn so that he could get banned and stop the attacks.

I'm just trying to figure out the purpose of this forum. Best I can tell is that everyone wants to get angry and group up against a -for all intents and purposes- nonexistent enemy. But no one is starting a petition or offering a counter point.
Where's the fun in spending the time to go "I agree"?

 

[Reaper69lol]

"You know what they say! Bigger the cushion, sweeter the pushin!" if you know where I got this from, You win a cookie....

 

['Aredor]

'Am I not worth making the effort for?' 'Am I not worth looking good for, but all the guys before me were?' 'Don't you care that you're physically unattractive for me?' 'Do you not care about your health?'

And girls, before you accuse me of being sexist, think about this. If you have a gorgeous, fit boyfriend who was always that way until he met you and suddenly balooned out, would you not be

a) less physically attracted to him than you had been

b) a bit offended? Wouldn't you think 'oh shit I must have something to do with this...'

Couldn't it be that, before she met you, she only kept fit to be able to woo the one guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with? That once she was in a relationship with you, she thought she could finally stop the trouble of staying sexy and just be herself? That she thought you loved her and wouldn't mind her gaining weight?

Besides, how could she 'care that she's not physically attractive to you' if you outright tell her that she still looks gorgeous. Ever seen it from her point? "I know I was gaining weight all through our relationship, but I always thought he didn't care, he kept telling me how gorgeous I am and so I thought he loved me no matter how I looked."

Might I ask how it ended?

OT: yeah, askmen.com, not much to be said about them, always the same chauvinistic bullshit.

 

[SimuLord]

When I was married, my wife gained about 20 pounds. #5 (playfully grab her love handles) saved my bacon. I did it during sex. Got up behind her, grabbed her sides and gave a squeeze...it was very "I still find you attractive enough to want you sexually but I know you're not going to like the fact that I can do this" in its subtext.

She joined a gym about a week later.

 

[Hurray Forums]

I can never tell if Askmen is serious or not. It has that aura of ridiculousness that surrounds a parody or a tongue in cheek work. If you read the rest of the articles this is actually one of the more possibly serious ones. Either way it's quite amusing.

 

[biofiend]

I wonder how many people are going to post to the effect of "I agree, that's a crass article." Are there any other, more interesting, opinions?

The author of that article was almost fed to wolves, when the wolves realized that stupidity causes cancer, they were smart enough not to eat him.

What do you expect someone to say? "That article was dead on, fat chicks need to burned in a fire?" This site doesn't get nearly enough trolls for that, and there isn't a flame shield strong enough to block the abuse. He would probably post porn so that he could get banned and stop the attacks.

I'm just trying to figure out the purpose of this forum. Best I can tell is that everyone wants to get angry and group up against a -for all intents and purposes- nonexistent enemy. But no one is starting a petition or offering a counter point.
Where's the fun in spending the time to go "I agree"?

Increase your post count without work? It's like farming, but without the night elf porn.

Do we get anything for increasing our post count? I think I'm on seven, or some such. Damn.

 

[lovetropicana]

Haha the one about loosening the chairs DID make me laugh out loud, but if anyone did that to me i'd heft a chair leg with a nail sticking out and castrate the perpetrator

 

[Bakaferret]

"The beauty of yoga is that if you dress it up as a way to relieve stress, she may not realize that she?s being tricked into shedding a few pounds, and even if she does, you?ll end up with a happier, more self-confident girlfriend rather than a grumpy lard-ass."

Are you serious? She's not a DOG, she's supposed to be your girlfriend. The ONLY one that is slightly acceptable is to begin working out yourself. Everything else is just the workings of a manipulative asshole.

snip

I'm sorry...I just can't see this as anything but selfish. If you were really were concerned about her "health" (come on, let's get serious here...), then the solution is simple: tell her that you're worried about her health. I'm guessing the reason why this is so hard for you to do is because it has a lot more to do with the fact that she's not eye candy anymore, and less about you worrying if she might have a heart attack or something.

And yes, this goes both ways...guys feel this way about girls, and girls feel this way about guys. That doesn't make it right. If you're in a meaningful relationship, putting on a few extra pounds doesn't matter. Seriously. "Don't you care that you're physically unattractive for me?" Wow...I would hate to be your girlfriend, having to keep up appearances just for your pleasure. I might have been able to agree with you a little before that statement. I'm glad that I can wake up in the morning with my hair all a mess, no makeup on, bleary-eyed and scruffy and still get an "I love you" from my partner. I'm sorry I'm ranting it's just...guys like you are what gave me so many insecurities and low self-esteem issues growing up.

/end rant

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Couldn't it be that, before she met you, she only kept fit to be able to woo the one guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with? That once she was in a relationship with you, she thought she could finally stop the trouble of staying sexy and just be herself? That she thought you loved her and wouldn't mind her gaining weight?

Besides, how could she 'care that she's not physically attractive to you' if you outright tell her that she still looks gorgeous. Ever seen it from her point? "I know I was gaining weight all through our relationship, but I always thought he didn't care, he kept telling me how gorgeous I am and so I thought he loved me no matter how I looked."

Might I ask how it ended?

I don't buy that.

In my opinion it is important to keep making the effort to be attractive for your partner. For both men and women. I know I try damn hard to stay in shape so my current GF has something nice to look at and sleep with.

She'd still love me if I were 20 stone, but that knowledge makes me want to please and satisfy her even more, not take advantage of it and become a lazy fat slob.

Of course you still love them if they go through the change, but you will be less attracted to them.

EDIT: You're right to question my not telling her, that was what I was asking myself in my first post, if it was right or not.

To answer your question, the previous one I mentioned ended in a sexless (she lost interest in that too) dead husk of a relationship that ended bitterly and with a year of resentment and pain for both people. Turns out I was right, she didn't give a shit about me any more.

 

[Danzaivar]

Hmm, think I'll stick to bluntly saying when a girlfriend piles on the weight thanks.

Beats making a girl psychologically destroy themselves without a person to blame for them feeling crap. Yeesh.

 

[Bakaferret]

When I was married, my wife gained about 20 pounds. #5 (playfully grab her love handles) saved my bacon. I did it during sex. Got up behind her, grabbed her sides and gave a squeeze...it was very "I still find you attractive enough to want you sexually but I know you're not going to like the fact that I can do this" in its subtext.

She joined a gym about a week later.

Don't mean to be rude, but key word is when you were married. I'm not saying that thinking she's fat is the direct cause of an end of a relationship, but this mindset that you have to trick your partner into anything is a relationship killer. I would love to see an instance where this worked, long-term, in a successful relationship. It may sound cheesy, but I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly four and a half years, and I am a firm believer in honesty and communication. It may hurt at first, but it's better than bottling up that hate inside.

 

[o_O]

No.3 - Schedule a formal date

Every once in a while, we print the odd joke that just doesn?t translate from our editorial meetings, such as the original No. 3 on this list: Sabotage her chair. Although we meant to be facetious in tone, we ended up sounding hateful, and for that we apologize and present you with a new No. 3: Schedule a formal date.

Is this a joke in poor taste? Yes. Should you take it seriously? I'll answer that with another question; should you take any joke seriously?

I can see how people wouldn't get it though. After all, there are people that would actually do what that article says (how disappointing).

 

[biofiend]

When I was married, my wife gained about 20 pounds. #5 (playfully grab her love handles) saved my bacon. I did it during sex. Got up behind her, grabbed her sides and gave a squeeze...it was very "I still find you attractive enough to want you sexually but I know you're not going to like the fact that I can do this" in its subtext.

She joined a gym about a week later.

Don't mean to be rude, but key word is when you were married. I'm not saying that thinking she's fat is the direct cause of an end of a relationship, but this mindset that you have to trick your partner into anything is a relationship killer. I would love to see an instance where this worked, long-term, in a successful relationship. It may sound cheesy, but I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly four and a half years, and I am a firm believer in honesty and communication. It may hurt at first, but it's better than bottling up that hate inside.

What kind of shape are you and your boyfriend in?

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Of course there's a limit, if she'd doubled in weight since you started dating her, it's probably worth carefully bringing it up, however, this seems to come from the 'men are perfect and women are there to serve and amuse us' line of non-thought.

To me, the worst answer to 'would you still love me if I lost my legs in an accident?' wouldn't be a simple 'no' but 'of course, but if you put ON weight, I'm fucking outta here!'


I think it all comes down to whether love is involved, if it is, you fall in love with a person, not a shape, whereas if it's purely sexual, and you can only get it up to a size zero, then go ahead and trade her in for a new model. With any luck your own metabolism will shift and the love handles will show and she'll be off too.

To me an overweight woman is more attractive than one who fusses about her food, for fuck's sake eat something.

As Alan Davies of QI fame once said 'I offered my girlfriend a cashew and she said no, its one cashew! She said they're fattening, and I told her ' you could have one, pick your nose and you'd lose weight!'