15 year old girl kills herself after persistent bullying

[Nikolaz72]

Snip

Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal. If you kid was any smart he would probably tell you that it is an unfair comparison. Someone in India living in shit doesnt mean that everything less shit than the guy living in india is not shit too. And when comparing situations comparing it to others in the west would be far more appropiate. Mainly because, you cannot compare anything in the west to say, Africa.

Bullying is a problem, this girl getting bullied into killing herself. Is a problem, its shit. And no, we shouldnt ignore the smelly shit using the fact that more smelly shit exists across the ocean to do nothing.

Also the last part of your post, more anecdotal evidence. Actually, you should seriously stop using that. Its just as effective as saying 'I got a masters degree in psycology and as such my opinion is superior to yours' just doesnt work mate. Cause anyone could do it.

Again, everything is subjective. Who are you to say that what you experienced was worse than what she did? We have relatively little information about her life, and no. You arent comming across as a 'Jerk' you are comming across, as a jerk. I would say the fact that she commited suicide and you 'supposedly' self and friend didnt. Would mean that she did have it worse. Ciao.

 

[Phantom Kat]

This reminds me of the multiple teen suicides in the town I grew up in, in the past two years. There was like 5 or 6 suicides and this is in a town of about 20 000 people. It's quite depressing to be honest.

 

[Okulossos]

Hmm...I am seeing what you mean by cybermobbbing, as in the whole anonymous business but I'm not sure if that's completely necessary. The presentations and talks discuss the dangers of the internet, such as posting explicit photos of yourself, and through dramatizations show what can happen. But more importantly, they discuss what you can do such as telling your parent, a teacher or the site or mobile provider. Understanding the threat better can help but isn't knowing the dangers and how to counter them enough? Or am I missing the point of cybermobbing?

Oh and thanks for not being an ass about my laziness by the way.

Ok, first the internet is anything but anonymous, actually the internet only works by not being anonymous. It's just that many people believe or think that they are anonymous on the internet, but they are not and that is the first thing that many people don't know.

You see, knowing the threat would be good, but knowing it and still underestimating it because you are unable to grasp the scope of the threat is sadly a whole different story. The problem is, that in the eyes of a normal 12 year old, "the world" is perhaps a little more than the path from home to school to the games shop and something outside of that, which he can see an TV or vacation but which is much more abstract and hard to add to "the world" in proper size and shape. If you tell them" when you upload a picture to facebook, the whol world will see it" what he think of is "oh cool, there are many people who are like the ones I know living under circumstances just like me..."
On top of that we all know how well children listen to such speeches and how well many parents know about how to use an electronic device in order to prevent things from happening. Now we also know that a teenager would not tell their parents everything and is not able to contact its provider and so on... Its just that many things said are not at all applicable in reality. What these children need is practice in a save space so that they can become media-savvy in the sense of critically handling the media and knowing their way around their computing device far enough to understand what is happening. This is training them and not just telling them. Children learn best by doing and not by being told.

Concerning cybermobbing there a not many clear definitions because the world of science is still unable to pinpoint it. It starts by being bullied in school with someone filming it and putting it on youTube and ends somewhere with happy-slapping... In germany there was a website enforcing cybermobbing, it was called something like "gossip.de" (the sick and demented mind who came up with that idea did not get punished enough in my oppinion, but that is a different story).
There is a very good movie on this topic, its called "BenX" and it shows quite a few aspects of mobbing and cybermobbing and why all the great ideas don't work.

 

[ReaperzXIII]

I always find things like this...weird to say the least, in my school and most of the people I know if somebody does something dumb like send a nude photo, we laugh for like a day or two and then its old news and we're bored of it. It might come back once in a while when we reminisce but then its just a funny old story, nothing more and nothing less.

I mean we remember it, but we don't really care all that much or bully the person. The girls, especially tend to be more sympathetic to the whole thing, what surprises me is that in 3 different schools she was bullied for something she did at 12.

Is this just something that is different according to countries/places? Because where I'm from if lots of people are bullying someone, someone will stand up for them and the whole situation diffuses pretty quickly. Sure 1 or 2 people might be persistent in it but for a most part even the person being bullied doesn't care.

While this may be a controversial opinion, whilst the bullying is terrible, the girlfriend beating her up in my opinion wasn't bullying. It was an angry girls reaction to her sleeping with her boyfriend, this tends to be the normal reaction to that stuff. Bullying her for it afterwards is just mean though.

 

[blazearmoru]

Why the fuck is it, that all the lonely people, unloved and bullied, are unknown until they die? I'm damn sure these people are common and everywhere. I don't know how, but I'm damn sure it's possible to find a way to connect them to EACH OTHER. Like what the fuck. :|

Also to the guy who said she's an attention whore. Look up the definition of attention whore and look up the reason why she gave up life. If you can't figure it out, attention whoring IS an attempt to reach out.

People in well standing nations such as the US and others, are often suffering from loneliness. I know the problem is mostly the fucking media as well as social conditioning but it's probably not that fucking difficult to set something up where loners and outcasts can go enjoy each other's companies. Everyone else who cares only out of guilt can go either go fuck themselves or something, I don't know. Just, with all the psychology, neuroscience, fucking internet and just bright ideas we have... I find it fucking impossible to believe that no one can find a way to set up a place, where outcasts can feel just a little bit less lonely. These are children for FUCKS sake. The fuck is wrong with everyone!?

Off topic but. She'd probably make a nice friend. With so many people suffering from loneliness, just can't fucking believe we don't have a way to simply connect people. =/

Edit : do you guys think SHE brought it up? for attention? and as a result got shunned by her classmates? It's quite possible... Shes a dumb kid in a society of dumb kids, all just trying to have fun. Most of what they do are intuitive and not logical.

 

[Shadowcreed]

Wow.. That was really painful to watch honestly.
I feel like I've left her hanging even though I've got nothing to do with it.
It's really depressing seeing how far teenagers can go. Following her constantly? Are you serious? I swear the world would be better off without certain people, the mentality some humans have is lacking in so many areas.

 

[Nouw]

snip

First paragraph in and you just blew my mind. Anyway, I agree with your save-space concept. I subconsciously made save-space accounts on Facebook, forums and even this account used to have a different name. Of course being an eleven year old, it was more out of fear of a bad reputation for being immature. It helped though so *shrug.* Being in an environment where I couldn't afford to fuck up really helped me. If there was to an environment created specifically for that, it would be even better. People learn best from their mistakes, and with a save-space their mistake won't be a severe as it could have been.

 

[Shadowcreed]

Rather dramatically done video, but I can't help but shed a tear for her story. I don't know her or every single detail of her story, it's clear she made some terrible choices, but she looks like a beautiful girl lost her life because of a combination of bad decisions on her part and a collection of putrid waste masquerading as human beings.

If you ask me, I'm betting that internet justice is on the way if this story has been in circulation. You can count on the assholes who have been stalking her facebook telling her to die will have their identities and information revealed very shortly. That's when the real fireworks begin and I'll just sit back and watch with a bag of popcorn at the ready.

Ethically, I know it will probably lead to more cyber bulling of the bullies and thus thinking this way makes me just as bad as they are. Whatever. I've had it with this shit. These kids think they can do anything without any consequences, like doing this shit over the internet makes them invulnerable.

I don't care if it's "wrong". All I want is a single moment where they are so hated, where things get so bad for them... that they understand what they did and the full impact of their fucking actions and what it's like when those same actions are enacted upon them.

My utter fury over this is probably overriding my logic and reason, I don't care. I'm mad as hell. This shit happens far too often, and I've had enough. I want the full fury of the internet unleashed on these bastards![HEADING=1]RIGHTEOUS FUCKING ANGER![/HEADING]

Amen to that. Probably wrong for wishing something like that upon anyone but honestly I'll stick with the saying 'what goes around comes around'.
Unfair? Maybe. The people that think they're not doing anything wrong - or thinking 'ahh its just for the laughs' should seriously get their heads checked.

 

[Aaron Sylvester]

Snip

Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal. If you kid was any smart he would probably tell you that it is an unfair comparison. Someone in India living in shit doesnt mean that everything less shit than the guy living in india is not shit too. And when comparing situations comparing it to others in the west would be far more appropiate. Mainly because, you cannot compare anything in the west to say, Africa.

Bullying is a problem, this girl getting bullied into killing herself. Is a problem, its shit. And no, we shouldnt ignore the smelly shit using the fact that more smelly shit exists across the ocean to do nothing.

Also the last part of your post, more anecdotal evidence. Actually, you should seriously stop using that. Its just as effective as saying 'I got a masters degree in psycology and as such my opinion is superior to yours' just doesnt work mate. Cause anyone could do it.

Again, everything is subjective. Who are you to say that what you experienced was worse than what she did? We have relatively little information about her life, and no. You arent comming across as a 'Jerk' you are comming across, as a jerk. I would say the fact that she commited suicide and you 'supposedly' self and friend didnt. Would mean that she did have it worse. Ciao.

Fine, then compare her life to the worst part of what happens in the West. I still think it would do everyone a fat load of good if they got a taste of life from the other side. The situations CAN and SHOULD be compared because it comes down to making someone think twice before taking their own life due to thinking they are "doomed", while having no clue what "being doomed" really means.

How would you react if a young child screamed "you don't love me, I have the worst life in the world" because you refused them another helping of ice cream? You would sigh and tell the child to stop complaining because they're lucky to be getting ice cream for dessert at all.

These teens have no value for their life because they haven't seen life any harder than what they have - adolescents ALWAYS compare themselves to their peers, and in most of these cases the teen is fully convinced that nobody in the world is having a worse life than they are.

These teens also typically tend to be the very "bored" kind of teen which the parents haven't put any effort to keep their minds busy with recreational activities or studies, so instead of focusing on that the teen starts wondering why they're alive. Their self-motivation and confidence is almost nothing so if someone tells they're worthless, they take it to heart. How pathetic. Eventually something as silly as cyber/text bullying (just WORDS from strangers) is enough to drive these teens over the edge to suicide. It's both sad and fucking silly at the same time.

Blame the parents? Blame the bullies (definitely not, the bullies did what any teen could do)? Blame mental illness? Blame all 3? Would the girl simply have taken her life at another point due to being so incredibly weak-willed and/or suffering from illness? Would Darwin simply have claimed her at a later stage? Who knows. I still believe the parents had a lot to do with this and perhaps could have helped the girl steer clear of the suicide option.

Ultimately yeah, we don't know a lot about her life. But if more terrible stuff had indeed been occuring, the news would've been quick to throw it into the article to make things seem even more tragic. Perhaps the parents/relatives aren't telling the full story? Who knows. We can only go on what we've been told so far, it's pointless making stuff up to "justify" her motive to commit suicide.

I've seen one or two people on Facebook doing this shit, posting up questions about life, getting depressed and pondering if they should go on. I know these people IRL and I KNOW they have almost nothing to be depressed about! I feel like punching these people in the face, snapping them back to reality and telling them to set goals in their life!

And as for the parents of these suicidal teens, I feel like punching the PARENTS in the face and asking them whether they have the vaguest clue about what their teen is getting up to, where they're heading in life, etc etc.

In the end I will still simply say "Eaten by Darwin" and leave it at that, because in the Western world where the quality of life is vastly higher there is almost nothing that gives Darwin a chance to do his work, there is no "survival race" with the government looking after everyone. So I suppose the Darwin simply picks off the suicidal people in that part of the world.

 

[likalaruku]

I can't sympathize with suicidal teenagers. If I'd been bullied, I'd have gone for a Toxic Avenger approach of one-on-one surprise revenge. In Jr. High I used to bully bullies & this one racist preppy chick & my friends were the people that these assholes were bullying.

This girl made a lot of incredibly stupid weak-willed decisions, her parents were pretty crapsack if the nude photography, booze, drugs, & wrist cutting slipped past them. I never gave a flying f**k about the opinions of my peers in highschool, & I taught my friends that other people's opinions had the value of mud unless asked for or in a debate.

That's the best way to deal with bully magnets; you raise their self esteem by making them loose faith in the rest of humanity, of course you also need to make sure they stay the hell away from depressants & stimulants. Lindsay went from a wilted flower to a stone cold b**ch in 5 years. She's still not a happy person, but she can cope with anything, & god help the brat that sends her daughter running home in tears. Amber put on a lot of weight, but I envy her ability to make a quick retort. She's happy with her BBW-loving hubby. Delmy went to a different highschool than me & joined a large clique of other bully victims. They were always together, in or out of school & would have been excellent support for eachother. Shanna snapped & sent one of her bullies to the hospital with her bare fists. After 2 more fights she developed a "crazy" reputation & undesirables made a point of avoiding her. Lucy's mom sued the pants off of the parents of two kids who's beaten her after school & tore her clothes. The boys were also expelled & transferred.

 

[Daveman]

I can't believe she kept the same facebook page all the way through. Surely if you move city you could at least do that. I'm just surprised nobody got charged with anything throughout this.

 

[Aaron Sylvester]

I can't sympathize with suicidal teenagers. If I'd been bullied, I'd have gone for a Toxic Avenger approach of one-on-one surprise revenge. In Jr. High I used to bully bullies & this one racist preppy chick & my friends were the people that these assholes were bullying.

Even I felt suicidal when I was a teen but I ended up saying "you know what? Fuck these people, I am NOT letting anyone else control my emotions". I'm sure most other teens have found similar (or other) ways to rise above the enraging-hormone period.

Because that's all a lot of teen suicides can be boiled down to, their mood swings (girls especially can have some CRAZY mood swings) going all over the place, themselves not having a defined set of activities/goals to set their focus on, and a few people whispering "psst, you suck, nobody likes you". Then throw in some drugs/alcohol for extra-crazy mood swings.
Add it all up and eventually these weak-willed teens decide that it's time to kick the bucket when they haven't even seen a small fraction of life. I mean, wow. Just wow.

I still blame the parents though, they let their 12-year-old girl have webcam sessions with strangers (or "friends"). It sounds like that's where this all started.

I can't believe she kept the same facebook page all the way through. Surely if you move city you could at least do that. I'm just surprised nobody got charged with anything throughout this.

If it were left up to you, who would you charge (just curious)? The parents? That's probably the closest I would come to charging anyone...parents for neglect.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

I can't help but feel that all these bullying instances are occurring because the younger generations are just doing things that previous generations didn't do until they were much older and could handle any of the consequences of their actions. I mean, a girl around 12 years old flashing herself for a guy on a webcam? That just seems so...impossible, to be the actions of a young girl. Maybe it's just all our new technology is making the younger generation feel they need to grow up and do more adult things at a younger and younger age, with disastrous results.

I would say that while that is partially true it is more to do with changes in communications technology meaning that if we do something stupid it is far more likely to get seen or heard of by a lot more people and also be recorded.

Back when I were a lad (1990), boys and girls all said and did stupid things in trying to seem grown up or impress our peers, including flashing of boobs at 12-13 years old (the whole back seat of the school bus, at the lorry drivers behind it) but it would only be shared among a small circle of people and could generally be denied as rumour. With no evidence and a small group of people knowing about it it would generally be forgotten about pretty quickly.

Nowadays that is probably going to be filmed by someone on their smartphone and posted online, the girls identified and tracked down etc etc. Back then it would take a hell of a lot of effort to track them down, let alone spread something like that.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

I have an ugly feeling we're going through a sort of 'spike' in this sort of thing and it will start going down once the computer/internet savvy people have their own children and pass the lessons they've learnt (either personally or by observation) to these children.


There are some points I don't understand though: the image that was being used to force her hand was of her breasts..when she was 12?

So far I'm seeing at least TWO massive criminal offences here: blackmail and possession of child pornography, with the possibility of more if the first party involved others (conspiracy) and spread the image around (distribution of obscene material)....holy shit, you wouldn't even need cyber-bullying to be criminal to take this arsehole to the court and ruin their life.


The other thing, is while I agree that a certain level of hardship is good for the soul when growing up, most adult conflict unless your a soldier or a bikie or cop tends to be pretty passive aggressive and not solved (no matter how much we wish it was) with a punch in the face.

So here's what I'm gonna do: when I have children (and Jesus do I feel both elation and dread for that day), I'll tell them to handle their problems in an adult manner. So if some twat beats them up at school....I'll advise them to call the police and lay charges of assault. Because that's exactly what it is.

 

[Britisheagle]

The issue is that nobody was around to help her. Family, friends, even people on the internet.

Now she is gone people suddenly recognise that there was a problem, that they were pushing too hard.

That is why I don't get why people are blaming the suicide on her, spineless as they are they are also wrong. People all around her were a factor in that decision and as harsh as it is, it's now too late.

R.I.P to her, and my thoughts go out to her family.

I have an ugly feeling we're going through a sort of 'spike' in this sort of thing and it will start going down once the computer/internet savvy people have their own children and pass the lessons they've learnt (either personally or by observation) to these children.


There are some points I don't understand though: the image that was being used to force her hand was of her breasts..when she was 12?

So far I'm seeing at least TWO massive criminal offences here: blackmail and possession of child pornography, with the possibility of more if the first party involved others (conspiracy) and spread the image around (distribution of obscene material)....holy shit, you wouldn't even need cyber-bullying to be criminal to take this arsehole to the court and ruin their life.

Also this is a really good point. If she had spoken up the chances are this could have been avoided or if someone else had pursued the guy on her behalf. I guess in the heat of the moment she must have been too ashamed to go to the police which is a shame really. Maybe they will be tracked down now that it has got widespread attention.

 

[likalaruku]

I can't sympathize with suicidal teenagers. If I'd been bullied, I'd have gone for a Toxic Avenger approach of one-on-one surprise revenge. In Jr. High I used to bully bullies & this one racist preppy chick & my friends were the people that these assholes were bullying.

Even I felt suicidal when I was a teen but I ended up saying "you know what? Fuck these people, I am NOT letting anyone else control my emotions". I'm sure most other teens have found similar (or other) ways to rise above the enraging-hormone period. Because that's all a lot of teen suicides can be boiled down to, their mood swings (girls especially can have some CRAZY mood swings) going all over the place, themselves not having a defined set of activities/goals to set their focus on, and a few people whispering "psst, you suck, nobody likes you". Then throw in some drugs/alcohol for extra-crazy mood swings.
Add it all up and eventually these weak-willed teens decide that it's time to kick the bucket when they haven't even seen a small fraction of life. I mean, wow. Just wow.

I still blame the parents though, they let their 12-year-old girl have webcam sessions with strangers (or "friends"). It sounds like that's where this all started.

Parents can always try putting their kids on whatever the hell ADHD meds my mom had me on since the 6th grade. I became very aloof, lethargic, barely able to feel emotions beyond "bored" "irritated" & "content." Stunted emotions allow you to see stupid for what it is, & when I was a teen, I found teen melodrama unbearable & everything that was popular looked & sounded stupid, & the first kid to tell me I couldn't have my own opinion got 4 nails to the face.

I'm still wondering how she got her hands on booze & drugs. Was it her parent's private stash? Shanna's mom had that shit, but Shanna never touched the stuff. Did her friends get it for her, thinking it would somehow make her feel better? Was it at school? Was security that lax?

 

[Angie7F]

As muchas i feel sorry fot the girl, there really is nothing you can do but to build a thicker skin or remove yourself from that environment and stop being the target.
The adults surely knew something was going on...I would be surprised if no one around her saw this coming.

 

[barbzilla]

I don't want to be "that guy" but according to the article she was posting explicit videos and photos of herself online and got upset when some guy shared them with "everyone". Something tells me alot this could of been avoided if she wasn't an attention whore and kept her clothes on.

This is a good deal of what is wrong with the world today. Why do people blame the victim instead of the violator? This isn't right, without the people abusing the girl this wouldn't have happened. Did she put herself in a situation that made her more open to it? Yes, but that doesn't absolve the people abusing this poor girl.

Let me switch scenarios. A guy and his wife are out at a bar. The wife asks the guy to get her a drink, and he goes up to the bar to comply. While waiting on the bartender to make the drink a girl next to the bar begins a conversation with the husband. The conversation is innocent, but the wife just sees him having a good time and laughing with another woman. The wife makes a bit of a scene out of jealousy and tells the husband it is time to go home. On the way home a fight breaks out between the two of them. The wife demands to be let out of the car. The husband, more angry than he should be, slams on the breaks and says fine get out. The wife gets out of the car and begins to walk home. As the wife is walking she encounters a police officer who informs her that she should try to get a ride, or at least be careful as there are some sexual predators in the area. Just a mile down the road the woman is pulled into an alley and raped.

Who's fault is the rape in that story?

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Something tells me alot this could of been avoided if she wasn't an attention whore and kept her clothes on.

This shit right here? This is a big part of what's wrong with the internet right now.

EDIT: Make that society, even.