1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.
*Erm, yeah, that's a basic point of a relationship
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
*I guess that chick I was stalking should reconsider me then.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
* Yeah, right. I'll be your knight in shining armour, until you want to go shopping with my credit card.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
* If the 'Game' in question is Call of Duty 2, then I can just give you one of the other controllers, and we can play split-screen.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
* Meh, Frontal hugs are more fun
6. Play with your hair.
* depends on how you define 'hair', and 'play', and 'pubic region'.
7. His hands always find yours.
* Always a valuable skill during a blackout or flood
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
* Like the 'I really need to go to the toilet dance'? or perhaps 'I've sliced my hand open and need to drive to the hospital crabwalk'?
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
* man, there seems to be a lot of unresolved sexual tension in this list, also, define 'pubic region' again.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
* No. I'll dance by myself to feel like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
* Bwah? Out of love = End of relationship. so what they're really saying is "Never break up with you". Clingy bitches.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
* "Don't make jokes at my mother's funeral" "Don't call me fat in his wedding speech"
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
* I call that my "My girlfreind just drove a four-inch stiletto through the fleshy part of my foot"
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
* It's all going to come off at the end of the night one way or another. Fuck that
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
* Also fuck that. You hit me and I hit you back. If you are able to hit me hard enough that you can actually hurt me, you can take a retaliatory beating just fine
16. Smile a lot.
* Does shadenfreude count?
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
* Yeah, okay, You'd just better not complain when the next time we step out we go to an Arcade and play back-to-back rounds of Point Blank.
18. Appreciate you.
* And your relationship is built on...?
19. Help others out.
* Okay
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
* What the hell? I drive five hours just to see you, and you can't even stick around for more than a lousy 60 minutes? Just what the hell kind of boyfreind do you think I am? Unless you're late for your poledancing and mud wrestling classes, I think I deserve a bit more than just the time of day and an empty tank of petrol.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.
* Meh, more standard relationship stuff.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
* This seems like less of an endearing trait than something that would a) get old quickly, and b) end a perfectly good relationship
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
* Say that again after I've rigged your toilet to explode
24. Stare at you.
* I should REALLY send this to that chick that pulled that restraining order on me. Or perhaps spraypaint it onto her house, or read it into her ear after breaking into her house, or carve it into my belly and then flash her on the train.
25. Call for no reason.
* At 3 AM before your final exams? Sure!
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it.
* Unless it's causing a huge rift in the relationship, fuck off.v