Alright. I'm a girl and I am morally opposed to this list. I'll elaborate.
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.
What? Leaving me the hell alone? Maybe I don't want to be cheered up. Maybe your pathetic attempt will only make me angry.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
That's just freaking creepy. I don't want your nose all up in my hair.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
I can stick up for my self. With the guys I date, probably them too.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
I don't want your stupid remote. Why does everyone assume girls want to steal the freaking remote?
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
...and then get inadvertently punched in the face? 'Cause that's what happens when you touch me unexpectedly.
Get your grubby hands out of my hair. I know where those hands were a few short hours ago.
7. His hands always find yours.
See previous two comments.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
What the hell has that got to do with anything? What ever happened to 'Hey, could you please...' Don't play cute with me.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
What have we learned about freaking touching me?
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
Yes, lets make fools of ourselves. Together. That makes it so much better.
11. Never run out of love.
I didn't realize real love and not passing fancy omg-I'm-so-in-wub!!1 was quantifiable. 'Sorry hunny, gotta run to the Love Station... my tank is running a little low. Don't want to run out!' What the hell.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
*seriousface* 0_o
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
Half the time I can't tell the freaking difference. Who am I to demand this?
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
Are you serious? I probably take less time then they do. Again, why is it a given that girls spend half their lives in the bathroom?
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
If I'm actually hitting them, even play-actually hitting them, they're not going to react in a 'cute' manner. Funny maybe...
Prompting my response of 'What the hell are you so freaking happy about?'
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to you.
Ick. No.
Appreciate me? What? Like coddle me and tell me everything I do is super-special-awesome-aw-look-she's-doing-something-aw. Yeah, that's what typically makes me NOT go out with a guy.
Oh, good for him... a philanthropist. -_-
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
No. No, no, no. Retard, wasting all that freaking gas. That is a sign of stupid-with-lust. Ugh.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you
depart from each others company, even when his friends
are watching.
Specifically so he can go 'Neener neener neener... I have a GF and you don't.'
22. Sing, even if he can't.
Please refrain. I tolerate this for about two seconds before you get play-actually hit in the mouth.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
As opposed to an uncreative one? What are we saying here?
Please don't. It makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get 'punchy.'
Aww... no. That gets old after about a day. "What's up?" "Oh noooothing. Siiiigh. <3" "Uhh, ok. Then bye."
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just
because he loves u that much to quit it.
AND THIS. THIS pisses me the fuck off. It's their freaking body, it's their freaking life. You're not their freaking mom. Leave it alone.
I guess I'm just an unromantic *****. >_>
