Can I suggest to meet at Las Vegas? Who doesn't want to go to Vegas? Who gets bored in Vegas? Gambling,lounging,spa,shopping,shows,bars,clubs,buffets,etc. Separate hotel rooms. You can bring your friends. He can bring his friends. Oh, but no bringing friends when you guys meet.
A boy problem of course *Updated*
- Thread starter Safaia
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Good point. Vegas is a pretty safe location, well, with all the cameras around.Imp Poster said:
Waiting him out to see if he's serious decreases your risk, but it doesn't remove it. Sometimes the wolf is very patient to catch the hare.Safaia said:
Get webcams if you haven't. If he won't, buy him one and post it over. Why? Because body language speaks volumes.
Above all be careful. I know someone who died this way. Meet in a public place, let people know what's happening, agree to ring people at a certain time or bring a friend, you can't be too careful with stuff like this, especially as he seems to have "issues" of his own.
yeah, that's about right.Ziadaine said:
The anonymity provided by the internet creates all sorts of opportunities for letting out who you truly are deep inside, there's no one here to judge you based on anything other than the merits of your words, on here everyone likes one another for their personality. (In theory, you only have to play back ops online to hear either how wrong, or how depressingly true that is)
However there is also the possibility with anonymity to disguise your true self and true intentions. Just ask the people who walk into a house to find Chris Hanson sitting in the kitchen. The sad fact of the matter is that the person waiting at the other end could be anyone and anything.
My recommendation is you meet at an event, something big that the two of you would have wanted to go to anyway. (and more importantly a lot of other people want to go to) You both love video games, meet at a convention. if it goes well there are always the options to stay together longer. if it goes horribly wrong, there will be a crowd of people and witnesses nearby.
You use skype you said right? (for those who don't know what it is, it's basically a webcam service from my understanding) Do you actually see him, or just his face? Body language can say a lot about a person (or send out mixed signals depending on who it is.)
I'm not saying it's not worth it, but DON'T GO ALONE and make sure to have a means of keeping things from getting out of hand (I.E. Tazer, pepper spray, something.)
I'm sorry, but the fact that he refuses to go out sets off alarms in my head, unless the reason he doesn't has something to do with money issues or something along those lines. Maybe its just paranoia, but I've had friends who got tricked into visiting someone because of those reasons, and if I hadn't gone with them they would likely have been in a lot of trouble. (There was this one guy, litterally tried to take off with my friend until I came out of the bushes holding a hand-made club with screws going through it.)
It could be a beautiful relationship waiting to happen, or it could end up like one of my friends and you could end up traumitized by something that happens.
You're old enough to make your own decisions, I'm just saying be careful, and ask yourself if the risk is worth it or not.
I'm not saying it's not worth it, but DON'T GO ALONE and make sure to have a means of keeping things from getting out of hand (I.E. Tazer, pepper spray, something.)
I'm sorry, but the fact that he refuses to go out sets off alarms in my head, unless the reason he doesn't has something to do with money issues or something along those lines. Maybe its just paranoia, but I've had friends who got tricked into visiting someone because of those reasons, and if I hadn't gone with them they would likely have been in a lot of trouble. (There was this one guy, litterally tried to take off with my friend until I came out of the bushes holding a hand-made club with screws going through it.)
It could be a beautiful relationship waiting to happen, or it could end up like one of my friends and you could end up traumitized by something that happens.
You're old enough to make your own decisions, I'm just saying be careful, and ask yourself if the risk is worth it or not.
Ok, just to clarify, last time you dated, did you meet face to face?
If yes - I'd say go for it, if you really feel it worth the trip and money. Seems like the last time was something that screwed up due to panic and a bit of misunderstanding. Just try and keep an open mind, and just make sure he doesn't get carried away with the whole "love" thing.
If no - be very cautious. Afterall, you can never be too careful on the internet. If you do want to meet him, make sure to take someone with you and meet in a public place, and don't go to a private place until you can be entirely sure that you can trust him.
In the end, with this kind of thing... well, sometimes it's good to let you're heart lead you
whichever way things turn out, I wish you luck in this endeavour ^_^
If yes - I'd say go for it, if you really feel it worth the trip and money. Seems like the last time was something that screwed up due to panic and a bit of misunderstanding. Just try and keep an open mind, and just make sure he doesn't get carried away with the whole "love" thing.
If no - be very cautious. Afterall, you can never be too careful on the internet. If you do want to meet him, make sure to take someone with you and meet in a public place, and don't go to a private place until you can be entirely sure that you can trust him.
In the end, with this kind of thing... well, sometimes it's good to let you're heart lead you
whichever way things turn out, I wish you luck in this endeavour ^_^
Right, if you are going to meet I would first off advise meeting on neutral ground as it where, you say you live on other sides of the country so why don't you both endure a flight to meet somewhere in the middle? if you go to his side he'll (subconciously only maybe) know that you're on his territory and well out've your own, if you can, get an open return plane ticket and let him know subversivly this is the case; "i'll get an open return plane ticket incase we're not really hitting it off." make sure you make plans to check in with a close friend every 24 hours.Safaia said:
in the case of your reaction to him proclomation of love, in the context you might've made the right reaction, it depends on how things were in the relationship. however, try not to let your previous experinces with your ex tint your future relations with men of a romantic nature.
Good luck.
Welcome to the Advice Forum: we never judge.Safaia said:
That does seem like a bit of a tricky situation you have there. I'd suggest asking him to fly to you, but I would imagine you've already tried that, or don't want to seem too demanding and controlling.
If not, you may as well just to see how he reacts, if nothing else. For instance, if he actually does it, he's probably not trying to mess you around.
Cut him off like a tumor. Call me old fashioned, but I seriously would not go through such lengths to start a serious relationship with somebody I met over the net.
Allow me a moment of hatred as a victim on the receiving end of a similar event...Safaia said:
Okay, now that that's over you should probably just outright ask him how he feels and let him know how you feel. If he really likes you then being straightforward won't bother him, if he doesn't then you'll know and whatever happens doesn't matter. It'll save both of you a lot of time and confusion.
TRIPLE QUOTE -- HEADSHOT!!! +60000points! (Ok I dunno why I did that)ShadowKatt said:
I can attest to that I've had a few online relationships back in the day. They never really work out... while they are kind of fun to be in if all you do is stay online
And play the same game. But once I graduated and kinda moved on to real-life people (lol). I kinda stopped going online and I "broke up" with her. I wouldn't visit him if I was you, and if I did, I'd bring friends. Tell him you want to bring your friend along as he (or she) has never seen Maryland and would like to see Washington D.C. (BTW Ziadaine...Maryland and Utah are in the same country not that it matters haha, I just felt like nit-picking haha)
I have a friend going to grad school in Baltimore who was going to help me meet this guy. I agreed to and was even excited about it. He just told me not 30 minutes ago that despite less than 48 hours ago saying he was excited that now he's not comfortable. Because I've 'been acting all lovey dovey and I'm used to emotionless Katie'. I'm just glad I didn't buy the ticket before he had this revelation. We were meeting as friends, we had that expectation set and even discussed it in detail, and I'm really upset over this. I don't trust people, men in particular after a 'friend' took advantage of me when I was drunk one night, so this was a huge step for me to agree to go out there at all. He was even the one who wanted me to come out sooner than later.
I don't know if I'm even justified to be upset but I really am hurt by this.
I don't know if I'm even justified to be upset but I really am hurt by this.
BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPZiadaine said:
People have way too less trust in strangers. I let pretty much random strangers sleep at my home on a frequent basis, and I've only got great stories to show for it.
I understand where your fear comes from, most people have it. But trust me the world will become a brighter place when you get over it, and welcome strangers in your life.
Though I must admit, I'm not quiet sure if I would dare to act like that if I wasn't a 6,4 tall guy.