A Burgler breaks into your house...

[ICantBelieveItGoesBoom]

I would rush upstairs call 999 from my mobile then find something either sharp or heavy that I could use as a weapon, sneak outside, slash his tyres if he brought a car wait outside the front doorwaiting for the police then if he tried to get out hide behind the door then hit him across the back of the head.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd storm out and say, "What the HELL do you think you're doing!?"
If he wants to argue with a woman or run away, it's his choice.

There's nothing to steal in my house anyway.... He'd probably leave me a note saying he felt sorry for me

 

[Madrak the Red]

I'd climb out of my window, after locking the door and taking a phone. Call 999, get shouted out for obviously prank calling, and then cry.

I would not hit him, beccause that would almost certainly lead to my arrest in this crazy, crazy world. But hopefully, the rozzers would show up and get the bloke.

 

[Abedeus]

I wouldn't go Rorschach on him. I might incidentially ignite something of value.


I would, however, find a very hard mallet and break his legs. Or just roundhouse kick him in the neck/head. Or do anything else that would leave him crippled. That would teach him not to break into people's house.

Or I would do ye' olde good "hello and goodbye".

*pant pant on the shoulder*

Why, hello.

*fingers in the eyes*
*palm thrust his throat*
*stomp on his foot*
*knee to his chin*
*finish with a good old combo breaker*

 

[ssgt splatter]

1.get shotgun.
2.confront robber.
3.kill robber.
4.wrap body in rug and drag him out of house.
5.put body in trunk of car.
6.take body to waste treatment plant.
7.dump body into waste treatment vat/pool.
8.go home and forget about it.
...
...
...
Naaa, just kidding, just call the cops

 

[Xaryn Mar]

As if I would reveal my methods to dealing woth intruders. But it would not be running away since I live in a 5th floor appartment with only one door.

 

[Caliostro]

Aside from feeling impotent there isn't a lot you can do. Good burglars don't rob houses when you're home, that is more a myth perpetuated by the media than anything.

He did start by saying "You see him, but he doesn't notice you, what do you do"... Kinda hard to see him if you're not there... Unless you have a surveillance camera in which case your options boil down to A) Let him take whatever; B) Call the cops; C) Explode conveniently placed landmines and/or trigger assorted traps.

That said, in the OP's situation it would depend on 2 things: How much of a threat he could be perceived as and how much I could get away with. This person knows where I live, so if I get a chance to get a justified (and preferably accidentally looking) kill. Most likely with my baseball bat or a kitchen knife.


...I have no shame in saying, if I was alone at the time and used the baseball bat, I would definitely shout out a BONK! [http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/a6/Scout_specialcompleted03.wav].

 

[xxDarlenexx]

Release the hounds.

 

[Jamash]

I'd murder them.

If someone's immoral enough to trespass & steal, then they totally deserve to be put to death, no questions asked.

 

[TheIr0nMike]

watch Home Alone

 

[cannot_aim]

I would see how many bullets a person can take before they bleed out or the police get there

 

[Aardvark Soup]

To be completely honest, I would probably sneak out of the house after calling 911 but certainly not confront him. And I think most people here will do the same, even if they don't admit it.

 

[Turing]

Well seeing as I live in an area of the world where burglars are usually professionals, not desperate people, I'd most likely call him out from behind a door and tell him to get the fuck out before I see his face. I'd even promise not to call the police.
Chances are he's off by then, as any sane burglar would be. If not, I live in a small town and have several old acquintances whose names mean a lot in the "Criminal Underworld" so a bit of name-dropping should probably suffice to get him to leave and possibly even apologise.
If that doesn't work, I'm probably going to try and break a chair on his head becase then I know I'm dealing with a desperate man.

 

[andyandy]

Well in my dorm, I guess I would be fucked. But at my house, there is 6 Rifles, 2 of which belong to me (Lee Enfield and Kar98k) and stay in my room, so I suppose I would be alright.

 

[KBKarma]

I have two golf-clubs, a putter and a pitching wedge. Which I could probably wedge somewhere unpleasant.

Also, a steel-tipped hiking staff, several gaming books, a 20kg tower unit (only in extreme cases!), lots of long cables, three knives, a Bunsen burner, a large and above all ANGULAR model of a Spartan helmet, cast in bronze, and several heavy yet movable shelving units. And a table leg. I have a table leg in my room, unattached to anything, which is kinda long and pretty heavy. And, of course, several wooden chess sets.

Oh, and the stairs, which are right in front of my room, and rather narrow. Something traveling down them really fast would probably smash straight through the glass at the bottom.

I could probably sacrifice Anima or a bust of Socrates. The former is a book weighing just over 2kgs. The latter weighs a few hundred grams, but is pretty hard.

 

[Caliostro]

I'd put on a ski mask and whisper "Hey! Are you robbing this house too?"

I have came to the conclusion that forums themselves were created just for the sake of this reply ever existing.


Brilliant. You sir, win.

 

[teh_gunslinger]

See, I'm glad I don't live in a place with insane gun laws.
A couple of years ago while visiting a friend in another town we hit some bars. He went home a bit before me as I had to finish some stuff with a girl so I could get her number.
When I got to the building I went up the stairs, and drunk as I was, took the door on the right instead of the one on the left. My mate would leave in unlocked so I went in. I didn't turn on the light as not to wake him. Promptly I walked into a table that was not there earlier. That woke the guy living there and we both got rather surprised and in my case a bit scared that he would kick my ass. He didn't but he showed me out the door, while I kept telling him it was not my intention.

Now, nothing happened, other than me learning to look at the door twice, but I'm glad he didn't have a gun and the same crazy attitude as some people here. A bunch of heroes I'd say. On the internet at least. I'm rather shocked and disgusted when I read stuff like that and I thank my stars I live in a saner place.
I'm sorry for being so borderline insulting, but I seriously can't believe that anyone in their right mind would should a burglar just like that. I really hope you are all just showing your big dicks of on the tubes.

 

[fix-the-spade]

He gets a Glaswegian handshake.

Possibly assisted by a set of chainrings...

 

[Sewblon]

Shoot him then call 911.