A problem like every other 17 year old has these days... :-( help me

[Alien Mole]

Meet them while doing other things you both enjoy.

Good to see you keeping a more positive attitude, by the way. Keep at it!

I don't meet many girls doing the things I enjoy.

Then widen the scope of things you enjoy! Suggestions as to what have been made in previous posts.

 

[The SettingSun]

I haven't met a lot of girls, but she's the coolest girl I have ever met in my life.
She's the sweetest girl i've ever met, and i'm flabbergasted at why she hates me :-(

Must be because I'm a horrible guy. I've fucked up real badly if i've turned a pretty girl who approached me and sat with me for an hour into someone who views me with contempt. Must be why I have virtually 0 friends while she never feels lonely, with a big family, a hot boyfriend and plenty more buddies.

and all i can do is make my heart bleed for her. im so lame :-(

"She's the coolest girl i have ever met in my life" - You're idolising her. That's why it's so hard for you to let go and realise that she isn't good for you. Right now you're in the mindframe that there's no way you can possibly get over her because she's really cool and really sweet etc.
If she really was that sweet then she wouldn't hate you like she does. To be honest there's very little any of us can really say to help you. This is something which you break through yourself and in time you'll be able to look back on this with a little pity and a little humour. It's cliche but time heals all wounds.

Another thing, the position your in now isn't solely to do with the girl. You mentioned that you have 0 friends where as she has a big family, lots of friends, etc. The reason why you want to be with her is because you feel like if you're with her then suddenly you're not alone anymore and you can share in this wonderful life she has. I may be way wrong here but it could be the case, I know I've done it before. A way you can help yourself is by reasoning through the self-hate and loneliness. A lot of people automatically assume that because they have no friends that means they are a rubbish human being. Looking back when I tried being friends with all the "cool kids" it makes me facepalm. I was never going to get on with them. I've found myself friends and they're great and they like me for being me. I don't have a lot but I would have found them a lot sooner if I stopped wasting time searching for friends and instead sat back and let them come to me. Just act polite and friendly. People may want to get to know you or not. If they don't then that's their problem.

All the best.

 

[The SettingSun]

Meet them while doing other things you both enjoy.

Good to see you keeping a more positive attitude, by the way. Keep at it!

I don't meet many girls doing the things I enjoy.

Okay so i've read a bit more of this thread and have a better answer for you. I was where you were a year or so ago. No friends, not really many "hobbies", never kissed a girl, intense depression.

It's got better on the social level. ( i have other issues but thats a story for a different time). It's all well and good people saying to pick up new hobbies, become really confident, go to the gym etc. The thing is you're not suddenly going to turn into a confident, easy going person overnight. You may never become that person and you shouldn't force yourself. The way to move forward is by having a positive perspective. I found that i liked guitar so i played it and now i'm part of an orchestra, not because I want a hobby or somewhere to meet girls, just because i like guitar. If you find you don't like anything right now, that's fine. Enjoy doing your own thing in your house. As for girls, take the same kind of perspective. Don't force yourself to get experience. Take your time, don't place all your eggs in one basket as you're doing now. Get to know girls you like, if they reject you it doesn't matter. Just pick yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.

Here, this is where I was several months ago in similar position to you: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1469697

I cringe when I read it but there's really good advice.

 

[Annoying Turd]

Meet them while doing other things you both enjoy.

Good to see you keeping a more positive attitude, by the way. Keep at it!

I don't meet many girls doing the things I enjoy.

Okay so i've read a bit more of this thread and have a better answer for you. I was where you were a year or so ago. No friends, not really many "hobbies", never kissed a girl, intense depression.

It's got better on the social level. ( i have other issues but thats a story for a different time). It's all well and good people saying to pick up new hobbies, become really confident, go to the gym etc. The thing is you're not suddenly going to turn into a confident, easy going person overnight. You may never become that person and you shouldn't force yourself. The way to move forward is by having a positive perspective. I found that i liked guitar so i played it and now i'm part of an orchestra, not because I want a hobby or somewhere to meet girls, just because i like guitar. If you find you don't like anything right now, that's fine. Enjoy doing your own thing in your house. As for girls, take the same kind of perspective. Don't force yourself to get experience. Take your time, don't place all your eggs in one basket as you're doing now. Get to know girls you like, if they reject you it doesn't matter. Just pick yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.

Here, this is where I was several months ago in similar position to you: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1469697

I cringe when I read it but there's really good advice.

I've read the thread. Makes me acknowledge that there are other kids like me. The thread was over half a year ago and you're already a better person? I look at my entire life and cringe at it and regret every single decision I've made. I've remained the same loser for about 3 years... well maybe much more toned thanks to gym. I still don't know what to do in life. I've always met people who have much better abilities than me, so why do I deserve to have a seat at university or a job or any sort of occupation over these people?

The problem with 'being myself' is that I'm nobody special. Why can't I just change into a better person than simply 'be myself', especially when myself is a loser?

 

[The SettingSun]

Meet them while doing other things you both enjoy.

Good to see you keeping a more positive attitude, by the way. Keep at it!

I don't meet many girls doing the things I enjoy.

Okay so i've read a bit more of this thread and have a better answer for you. I was where you were a year or so ago. No friends, not really many "hobbies", never kissed a girl, intense depression.

It's got better on the social level. ( i have other issues but thats a story for a different time). It's all well and good people saying to pick up new hobbies, become really confident, go to the gym etc. The thing is you're not suddenly going to turn into a confident, easy going person overnight. You may never become that person and you shouldn't force yourself. The way to move forward is by having a positive perspective. I found that i liked guitar so i played it and now i'm part of an orchestra, not because I want a hobby or somewhere to meet girls, just because i like guitar. If you find you don't like anything right now, that's fine. Enjoy doing your own thing in your house. As for girls, take the same kind of perspective. Don't force yourself to get experience. Take your time, don't place all your eggs in one basket as you're doing now. Get to know girls you like, if they reject you it doesn't matter. Just pick yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.

Here, this is where I was several months ago in similar position to you: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1469697

I cringe when I read it but there's really good advice.

I've read the thread. Makes me acknowledge that there are other kids like me. The thread was over half a year ago and you're already a better person? I look at my entire life and cringe at it and regret every single decision I've made. I've remained the same loser for about 3 years... well maybe much more toned thanks to gym. I still don't know what to do in life. I've always met people who have much better abilities than me, so why do I deserve to have a seat at university or a job or any sort of occupation over these people?

The problem with 'being myself' is that I'm nobody special. Why can't I just change into a better person than simply 'be myself', especially when myself is a loser?

I hate to crack this line but everybody's special. I'm not a better person than I was then. I just learned more about myself and learned to live in a way that I was comfortable which in turn made me a happier person. Although I hate to say it that girl brought out the best in me and taught me so much about myself. You've got to stick around the people who bring out the best in you and clearly the girl who you mentioned before hadn't. She rejected you which made you reject yourself. The thing is, if she rejected you it means she wasn't right for you. The girl who i was in "love" with was immature, childish and fake. There was no way I would've been happy with her and it took me to accept myself to realise that. What I'm trying to say is to have a little self confidence and acceptance.

As for people getting what they deserve, it rarely happens. All the douche's are really popular and have loads of girlfriends. People are better than you but your better than other people. You take a look at yourself, admit you have flaws and are trying to improve. That takes a lot and other people would rather be ignorant of their flaws. All you can do is try your best and see where that gets you.

 

[Annoying Turd]

Meet them while doing other things you both enjoy.

Good to see you keeping a more positive attitude, by the way. Keep at it!

I don't meet many girls doing the things I enjoy.

Okay so i've read a bit more of this thread and have a better answer for you. I was where you were a year or so ago. No friends, not really many "hobbies", never kissed a girl, intense depression.

It's got better on the social level. ( i have other issues but thats a story for a different time). It's all well and good people saying to pick up new hobbies, become really confident, go to the gym etc. The thing is you're not suddenly going to turn into a confident, easy going person overnight. You may never become that person and you shouldn't force yourself. The way to move forward is by having a positive perspective. I found that i liked guitar so i played it and now i'm part of an orchestra, not because I want a hobby or somewhere to meet girls, just because i like guitar. If you find you don't like anything right now, that's fine. Enjoy doing your own thing in your house. As for girls, take the same kind of perspective. Don't force yourself to get experience. Take your time, don't place all your eggs in one basket as you're doing now. Get to know girls you like, if they reject you it doesn't matter. Just pick yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.

Here, this is where I was several months ago in similar position to you: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1469697

I cringe when I read it but there's really good advice.

I've read the thread. Makes me acknowledge that there are other kids like me. The thread was over half a year ago and you're already a better person? I look at my entire life and cringe at it and regret every single decision I've made. I've remained the same loser for about 3 years... well maybe much more toned thanks to gym. I still don't know what to do in life. I've always met people who have much better abilities than me, so why do I deserve to have a seat at university or a job or any sort of occupation over these people?

The problem with 'being myself' is that I'm nobody special. Why can't I just change into a better person than simply 'be myself', especially when myself is a loser?

I hate to crack this line but everybody's special. I'm not a better person than I was then. I just learned more about myself and learned to live in a way that I was comfortable which in turn made me a happier person. Although I hate to say it that girl brought out the best in me and taught me so much about myself. You've got to stick around the people who bring out the best in you and clearly the girl who you mentioned before hadn't. She rejected you which made you reject yourself. The thing is, if she rejected you it means she wasn't right for you. The girl who i was in "love" with was immature, childish and fake. There was no way I would've been happy with her and it took me to accept myself to realise that. What I'm trying to say is to have a little self confidence and acceptance.

As for people getting what they deserve, it rarely happens. All the douche's are really popular and have loads of girlfriends. People are better than you but your better than other people. You take a look at yourself, admit you have flaws and are trying to improve. That takes a lot and other people would rather be ignorant of their flaws. All you can do is try your best and see where that gets you.

wish i can be a popular douche then; that way i won't be lonely :-D

how is everybody special?

 

[The SettingSun]

Meet them while doing other things you both enjoy.

Good to see you keeping a more positive attitude, by the way. Keep at it!

I don't meet many girls doing the things I enjoy.

Okay so i've read a bit more of this thread and have a better answer for you. I was where you were a year or so ago. No friends, not really many "hobbies", never kissed a girl, intense depression.

It's got better on the social level. ( i have other issues but thats a story for a different time). It's all well and good people saying to pick up new hobbies, become really confident, go to the gym etc. The thing is you're not suddenly going to turn into a confident, easy going person overnight. You may never become that person and you shouldn't force yourself. The way to move forward is by having a positive perspective. I found that i liked guitar so i played it and now i'm part of an orchestra, not because I want a hobby or somewhere to meet girls, just because i like guitar. If you find you don't like anything right now, that's fine. Enjoy doing your own thing in your house. As for girls, take the same kind of perspective. Don't force yourself to get experience. Take your time, don't place all your eggs in one basket as you're doing now. Get to know girls you like, if they reject you it doesn't matter. Just pick yourself up, learn from the experience and move on.

Here, this is where I was several months ago in similar position to you: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1469697

I cringe when I read it but there's really good advice.

I've read the thread. Makes me acknowledge that there are other kids like me. The thread was over half a year ago and you're already a better person? I look at my entire life and cringe at it and regret every single decision I've made. I've remained the same loser for about 3 years... well maybe much more toned thanks to gym. I still don't know what to do in life. I've always met people who have much better abilities than me, so why do I deserve to have a seat at university or a job or any sort of occupation over these people?

The problem with 'being myself' is that I'm nobody special. Why can't I just change into a better person than simply 'be myself', especially when myself is a loser?

I hate to crack this line but everybody's special. I'm not a better person than I was then. I just learned more about myself and learned to live in a way that I was comfortable which in turn made me a happier person. Although I hate to say it that girl brought out the best in me and taught me so much about myself. You've got to stick around the people who bring out the best in you and clearly the girl who you mentioned before hadn't. She rejected you which made you reject yourself. The thing is, if she rejected you it means she wasn't right for you. The girl who i was in "love" with was immature, childish and fake. There was no way I would've been happy with her and it took me to accept myself to realise that. What I'm trying to say is to have a little self confidence and acceptance.

As for people getting what they deserve, it rarely happens. All the douche's are really popular and have loads of girlfriends. People are better than you but your better than other people. You take a look at yourself, admit you have flaws and are trying to improve. That takes a lot and other people would rather be ignorant of their flaws. All you can do is try your best and see where that gets you.

wish i can be a popular douche then; that way i won't be lonely :-D

how is everybody special?

Everybody's got their unique strengths, thats how everybody's special. What works for one person won't work for another. You have to find an approach to girls which suits you instead of trying to copy off somebody else's style. Once you find a way which works for you, you'll be able to pull it off with at least some ease. It won't work for every girl but it'll strike a chord with some and there the girls you want to focus on.