A Question for Any Straight Girls...
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I have never dated anyone that hit on me while I was working, nor would I. It comes across to me as being extremely disrespectful to hit on someone while they are working, so if they showed that little respect before even getting to know you, how bad would they be once they are " comfortable around you?"People are at work to do a job, not pick up dates. Hot and likable are irrelevant while I am working. I have however dated a guy I met while working, but he at least never tried to hit on me at work, instead he caught me after work while out with friends.
"hot and likeable" is a subjective thing
but lets say subjectively they are,while it might increase you're chances it's going to make a [i/]whole[/i] lot of difference as to weather or not the person is interested in something from a workmate
but lets say subjectively they are,while it might increase you're chances it's going to make a [i/]whole[/i] lot of difference as to weather or not the person is interested in something from a workmate
Though it doesn't have to be a " workmate",it could be a client, patient, customer, accountant, contractor etc.. In some fields there are even ethics violations depending on what the work relationship is with the person in question.Vault101 said:
This isn't just a straight girl thing... Though it's far less frequent, if I'm getting vibes from another woman, I may or may not enjoy it for factors that have nothing to do with physical attractiveness or likability. Could be that I'm having a hard time mentally or emotionally and not in any shape to be in a relationship. Could be that my bipolar symptoms are flaring up and I don't want to expose others to my craziness out of a fear about how they'll react, and I'm avoiding the potential of someone hating me forever because my brain chemistry is temporarily out of control. That happens a lot more than you think.
Sometimes the tired, old adage "it's not you, it's me" is the actual truth whether or not those words are spoken aloud.
Sometimes the tired, old adage "it's not you, it's me" is the actual truth whether or not those words are spoken aloud.
The work place is not the right place for flirting. While it's often nice to get positive attention from someone I find attractive*, flirting at work is just awkward and inappropriate. If it turns out that months worth of normal human interactions show we might be compatible and there are no ethical concerns, well, I wouldn't mind if I was asked out for coffee (or I might ask him).
*This doesn't mean I don't appreciate positive attention from people who I don't find attractive, but if I tell someone I'm not interested, he/she should not push it. That's common courtesy and sense, and no, attractive people do not get a free pass. Continue flirting and it just becomes creepy. And yes, this goes for both genders.
*This doesn't mean I don't appreciate positive attention from people who I don't find attractive, but if I tell someone I'm not interested, he/she should not push it. That's common courtesy and sense, and no, attractive people do not get a free pass. Continue flirting and it just becomes creepy. And yes, this goes for both genders.
As Ten Foot Bunny said, this doesn't just apply to straight gals, I'll go a step further to say it also doesn't only apply to cisgender gals either. Being that I'm trans, the worst situations ever were being at work and being hit on by customers and coworkers. From coworkers it's uncomfortable and can sour a workplace relationship faster than you can say "I'm not interested." When it comes to customers in a service or retail setting it can turn to having someone who hit on you turn around and give some bullshit story to your boss about how you treated them badly... Just, yeah, it's not appropriate work place etiquette, it's also kind of a demeaning way to treat a gal on the job. You wouldn't expect a man to tolerate being threated this way, so don't expect women to either. I mean in all honesty this doesn't just apply to women, because I've seen men have similar issues while on the job too.
Having said all of that; you might be able to get away with asking someone out after their shift, but it's still a situation where no also means drop it, otherwise you get into creepy territory. That goes for basically anyone.
Having said all of that; you might be able to get away with asking someone out after their shift, but it's still a situation where no also means drop it, otherwise you get into creepy territory. That goes for basically anyone.
Not at work.
If you're interested in her, talk to her after work or at an office party or someplace more casual. Broach the topic, if she says "no" drop it completely, move on with your life and never bring it up again, you don't want that drama spilling into your work relationship.
If you're interested in her, talk to her after work or at an office party or someplace more casual. Broach the topic, if she says "no" drop it completely, move on with your life and never bring it up again, you don't want that drama spilling into your work relationship.
I'm not a straight girl (sorry), but I think the same answer applies to people of any gender or sexual orientation.
It just... depends. Some people are really accepting of that sort of behaviour, others aren't. What counts as "hot and likable" to one person will be different to another person. Even if that person is physically attractive to them, many would probably feel uncomfortable with such an interaction at work. It also depends on what's considered "hitting on".
I know that if an absolutely stunning lady flirted with me at work, I can either enjoy it or be made extremely uncomfortable by it depending on how they behave and how much chemistry we had to begin with.
It just... depends. Some people are really accepting of that sort of behaviour, others aren't. What counts as "hot and likable" to one person will be different to another person. Even if that person is physically attractive to them, many would probably feel uncomfortable with such an interaction at work. It also depends on what's considered "hitting on".
I know that if an absolutely stunning lady flirted with me at work, I can either enjoy it or be made extremely uncomfortable by it depending on how they behave and how much chemistry we had to begin with.
Regardless of explicit ethics, there's the issue of the power dynbamic such a situation creates.Lil devils x said:
- Mar 17, 2012
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What is acceptable: Making small talk and possibly asking after work
What is not acceptable: Whipping your dick out and yelling "sucky sucky dicky dicky pls"
Remember not to confuse the two, I've made that mistake before
What is not acceptable: Whipping your dick out and yelling "sucky sucky dicky dicky pls"
Remember not to confuse the two, I've made that mistake before
I'm not sure which side your asking from. If your a hot and likeable guy, I'd say go for it but keep it light, and if she doesn't respond to it, then stop. Even if you are Channing Tatum most people are just trying to get through the day at work and aren't thinking about that stuff.Arnoxthe1 said:
I've done my share of work-flirting myself, so it can be done, just don't be too over the top or creepy. I've also dated coworkers before and it's never affected either of our work, just be mature and adult about it.
Am not straight girl, asked friend.
"Please don't. Work is stressful and annoying enough as it is."
So throw one more on the "Pls no" pile, hotness be damned.
"Please don't. Work is stressful and annoying enough as it is."
So throw one more on the "Pls no" pile, hotness be damned.
Hm. I think you have a strangely worded question. I don't know if it was intentional or not. Hot + likeable doesn't always mean said woman is attracted to that person. Also, the choice of the phrase "hitting on". "Hitting on" typically has the negative connotation of flirting done poorly, usually like a bull in a china shop, which contrasts with the fact that this person is supposed to be "likable". In which case, why would it not annoy her?
Now, if I give you the benefit of the doubt and give you the most generous interpretation of your question, while not a girl myself, I think I speak for everyone when I say that when someone I'm attracted to at work starts flirting with me, I'm immediately repulsed and start projectile vomitting.
Now, if I give you the benefit of the doubt and give you the most generous interpretation of your question, while not a girl myself, I think I speak for everyone when I say that when someone I'm attracted to at work starts flirting with me, I'm immediately repulsed and start projectile vomitting.
I do not find people who do not respect me while working to be attractive. Regardless of how they look, respect is key attribute of a person's attractiveness.
On the logic of normal social interaction, ask them for some non-romantic social occasion (or to a gathering of co-workers) then if they shut that down, its pretty obvious there's no interest, so piss off. If not, outside of work meetings is probably a better place to broach such things, and if the answers no, drop it.
Although in the warped world of social stigmas nowadays, that might be confused with trying to get into the "friend zone" as a means to force oneself into a relationship. I mean, I believe in a world where adults can divulge a romantic interest politely, have it declined politely, and carry on with normal social interactions, or even platonic friendship, but it does like to correct me and end up dealing with the resulting la merde.
Although in the warped world of social stigmas nowadays, that might be confused with trying to get into the "friend zone" as a means to force oneself into a relationship. I mean, I believe in a world where adults can divulge a romantic interest politely, have it declined politely, and carry on with normal social interactions, or even platonic friendship, but it does like to correct me and end up dealing with the resulting la merde.