A question for Girl gamers

[EmzOLV]

I only have a few of my friends on Xbox Live who chat to me. No-one random has ever added me or really ever talked to me on multiplayer games.

So in my experience, no guy has ever hit on me over gaming. I've been left alone at gaming expos too. Meh, maybe I'm not the right type of gaming girl

I think if you connect with someone and talk and text pretty much loads, I think you work out whether its worth meeting in real life. But mind you, there are already millions of girls out there not playing games who I'm sure would be wonderfully nice if you just went up to them and said 'hi'

 

[xmbts]

Never trust someone who is more than 50 miles away, chances are they just want to see your boobs.

Hey, as a male I rather resent that.

OT; Well, I am a guy, and I am A-OK with female gamers. Its a lot more common than people think, so I guess the reason they act like gawking 12 year olds around girl gamers is because they think they can get lucky. Or something to that effect.

Sorry I should have clarified, Anyone you meet online who is more then 50 miles away and mentions a webcam or starts sending alot of messages should not be trusted. There are plenty of normal guys online who aren't boob-craving turds.

In fact that also applies to people within 50 miles, I'm just saying the farther away they are the less likely any sort of meaningful relationship will come from it.

 

[marygoodden]

I would say don't "look" for love anywhere. If you meet someone you meet someone.

I know people have found love playing online games (often quest-based things), but I doubt anyone went on there to pull, just play the game. Romance happens when you get talking and find you have things in common.... like Everquest.

Seriously, the things that are attractive in person are the same things that are attractive in a virtual or online medium.

Generally, if you want to get to know someone, just ask them qustions about themselves, be polite, be yourself.

If it happens, it happens, if not then you've lost nothing and had a good time gaming.

 

[CargoHold]

Oh I have, quite a few great guys on Steam. Mainly, they were great because they were friendly and never once made a big deal about me being a girl. Just... make friends, y'know. Chat. Don't flirt or hint or anything, just become friends and if anything happens, it happens.
(They turned out to be quite good looking in real life too. Drool.)

Not Xbox Live related, but I was reminded of this troll on TF2:

Spoiler

...at least...I hope it's actually a troll.

Oh god. I've had this. It's... horrible.
And just for the record, it isn't all OMG and sammich jokes. I've had some guy insult me and say that his girlfriend next to him said that girl gamers are all fat and ugly. :<

 

[fnartilter]

What was that Jay Leno joke?

"Turns out 1 out of 5 relationships from the internet turn to marriage. The other four are missing and presumed dead."

Hahaha, that's gold.

Once you're past the initial meeting stage though, be yourself, and don't push for love. ... . If you're obviously after a relationship and nothing else, you'll either look desperate or a misogynist. Aim for friendship, anything else that happens should just be an extension of that anyway, if you're doing it right.

I concur. Though meeting someone in your area is slim, and beyond that long distance is not fun.

 

[VondeVon]

I'm not sure why you'd want to hit on a girl online when no real result can come from it, but for me there's two main requirements without which I would dismiss any attempt instantly.

Common interests.
Friendship.

It's that easy. If you don't have the first, the second will rarely flourish and if I'm not friends with you, then you might as well just be a bot.

 

[Tasachan]

Playing L4D2 with other men, the most attractive thing to me is when they treat me just like they treat everyone else. With the exception that when 2 of us are knocked down, I get saved first. I can't help but feel special when that happens. -^_^-
Don't treat us like we're incompetent, just watch our backs sometimes.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Also, if you don't know what to say to women, try the classic "tell me more about yourself/subject you just raised" line. It takes the pressure off you to say just the right thing and makes you seem interested in her

As a guy who's friends with a lot of girl gamers, I vote this.

Most girl gamers I know won't start a conversation with a stranger who knows they're a girl, unless some variation on this theme happens.

Beyond that, you'd need to meet them through a clan or a mutual friend or something. In which case, you're better off meeting them in person rather than just in game.

Once you're past the initial meeting stage though, be yourself, and don't push for love. That goes for offline and online. If you're obviously after a relationship and nothing else, you'll either look desperate or a misogynist. Aim for friendship, anything else that happens should just be an extension of that anyway, if you're doing it right.

I don't think that word means what you think it means. I see people misusing it all the time.

How does "I want to be in a relationship with a woman" make a person look like they really mean "I hate women."

It doesn't, because it makes no sense. Because a guy wants to be in relationship with a girl, doesn't mean he hates her or wants to rule her. I think it is views like this that wrongly turn people away from long term relationships or marriage. Those things are not about controlling people, if done the right way, they are about partnership and cooperation to live life together, so each person has someone by their side.

 

[Aqualung]

So my question is this, have you ever encountered a guy who sounded genuinely attractive (Mentally, emotionally) playing online video games?

No.

They're typically needy, obsessive, and clingy.

Not exaggerating at all.

 

[hotacidbath]

I don't play on-line a lot except for with real life friends. This has nothing to do with the bits in my pants and instead deals with me not wanting to be berated by children half my age. I put this out there to just make it known that I might not be the best person to answer this.

With that out of the way, don't try and flirt with or hit on girls over Xbox Live. Just chat with them casually like you would with any guy and don't do it with the mindset that you're "looking for love." Just talk with them and find common interests and keep in mind that you are just talking with someone else and you have a lot in common, not that this person is a potential partner. Better yet though, instead of trying to chat up girls on-line, go out and join a club or something where there will be girls who have at least one similar interest to you.

 

[kouriichi]

As a male gamer, who plays many online games, when i see a woman on Xbox live or what have you, i do everything i can to avoid her, unless shes a good player.

At which point she becomes less of a sexual object and more ofa target of my unending pits of rage.

I.E. If theres a good woman gamer, id rather have her as a rival then try any funny bissness.

Like back when COD2 on the 360 was fun, i met this really hot chick. Voice like a sexline operator, looks like a japanese pron model. But strangly, i wasnt the least bit attracted to her, because the minute she got a 9 kil streak, i saw her as a gamer, not a woman.

So i friended her, and for the 3 months following we purposely tryed to get on opposite teams, because it was so much fun to shoot eachother.

 

[JanatUrlich]

Hahaha! I would never look for love in XBOX live!!

And plus, how can you tell if someone's attractive just by hearing their voice?

I don't get why guys hit on me when I'm online either. How do they know that I'm not some disgusting monster??

 

[Blow_Pop]

Personally(from having many males hit on me both in gaming forums, in game, and everywhere else in between),guys hitting on me over the psn creep me the hell out. When you've barely played a game with them and start telling them how hot they are...........(yeah sorry folks I don't touch a 360 unless I am at a friends house and am playing Peggle against him. Or we play rockband)Its one thing if it is a friend of yours but a completely different thing if you don't know them, have never met them, never talked, etc.......

 

[Sarahcidal]

the key is DO NOT hit on us, DO NOT ask "are you a girl??" DO NOT ask for our facebook/myspace (unless we've been playing together for a while)
Talk to us like we're already your friend. Treat us like one of your buddies.
Make us laugh, don't take the game too seriously, don't be a dick.

i'm also going to copy this part of 's post because it's perfect:

Once you're past the initial meeting stage though, be yourself, and don't push for love. That goes for offline and online. If you're obviously after a relationship and nothing else, you'll either look desperate or a misogynist. Aim for friendship, anything else that happens should just be an extension of that anyway, if you're doing it right.

 

[dtfyvugbhjnk]

Ever witnesses text sex on some mmo? Yeah, that shit happens so it's not really
surprising that they do it in voice chat too... it's beyond sad and pathetic.

 

[BoosterGold]

I have a question...why the heck is a girl gamer, or gamer girl, called a gamer girl. I mean, a girl who plays video games, so just a gamer right, why the gender adjective anyway. I play games and am a guy am I a Guy Gamer.

Anyway, go into the real world to meet women, talk to them, get to know them, treat them like people.

 

[Aqualung]

I have a question...why the heck is a girl gamer, or gamer girl, called a gamer girl. I mean, a girl who plays video games, so just a gamer right, why the gender adjective anyway. I play games and am a guy am I a Guy Gamer.

Anyway, go into the real world to meet women, talk to them, get to know them, treat them like people.

I suppose because it's considered an anomaly? Just as there are tigers, and 'white tigers', even though the white tigers are just a rare genetic mutation.

And something I've noticed is that in 'real life', people will always ask me if I'm a gamer. I've never had anyone ever look at me and ask me if I was a girl gamer offline. On the internet, however, it seems to be an exception.

 

[Roofstone]

If I've ever heard an attractive voice? Yeah, I guess. But the persons themself MOSTLY seem a little...harsh. So to say. But well. I've found a few persons I could probally be attracted too.

Edit: I loose all interest when people ask "If I am really a girl" I prefer people who can actually trust others.

 

[Neuromaster]

First, social games like MMOs are the most appropriate place to build relationships. NOT FPSes. Xboxlive is probably the worst example you could give.

Second, this is about relationships. If you're not making friends with male players, don't expect to be making friends with female gamers. Azeroth is not the new Match.com

Third, pay attention to what they say and like. Off-hand mention of the midterm elections? Engage them in politics. They're going to a concert this weekend? Ask them about music. They're excited about a new piece of tech? Talk about that. But only if you actually care about the subject. Faking it doesn't help anyone.