A question for Girl gamers

[Erana]

Guys I've met in-game? A few, mentally and emotionally were quite delightful, but they all wind up being at least 10 years older than me. And they usually take more patronizing, fatherly attitudes towards me than anything romantic.
They're like Bear to my Mimiru from .hack//SIGN.

Spoiler: Like this

Yes, it looks quite intimate there, but what really happened is that she was about to fall into the sky... or outer space, or whatever the Hell it is. They were exploring an upside-down castle.
Point is, they could put these two characters in this position(with quite little clothing, I might add) and make them really care about each other without having any sexual chemistry at all.

 

[Sirisaxman]

Its quite funny how the rules generally still apply online, 80% of the time being a Jock showoff generally works (not saying it will, just seems like that, not that ive tried online, im always micless) I remember hearing a guy chatting really nice to a girl on l4d, then the forth bot got taken by some hothead who started hitting on the girl as immdediately as his pee wee brain realised a girl was playing... and she loved it.

Girls love attention, especially attention given for free. Doesn't mean they'll put out, though.

Very true, although the same can be said of guys who randomly hit on women online, so, yeah. Btw, welcome to the Escapist!

 

[meticadpa]

If I ever play with a girl online (usually in L4D2, where I play with a few fairly regularly) I treat them just like any other teammate, because that's what they are. I don't play games to find teh wimmenz, I play games because I want to game. If I wanted to talk to women online, I would; but I don't, so I don't.

But I know a guy from another forum who met his wife playing WoW, and they've been married for a few years and are very happy.

 

[Dogstile]

Never trust someone who is more than 50 miles away, chances are they just want to see your boobs.

Pshh, that's not /always/ true

 

[xmbts]

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I fixed it , which I probably could have done sooner

 

[marygoodden]

I would say don't "look" for love anywhere. If you meet someone you meet someone.

So basically, do nothing until you get selected by a woman as a good mate? Do not act on your attraction and assume your wants? That's not advice, that's typical feel-good bull****. And if it offends you, well good, I don't play nice with anyone, girl or guy.

Charming!

How jolly dangerous and exciting you are, and awfully brave not to play nice on the Escapist's forum.

Gosh, I'm all of a flutter...

Seriously though, I'm not suggesting you do nothing and wait for people to find you (though I'm not sure what's "feelgood" about implying that you are as likely to meet someone as not, which I did), just that you should first and foremosat enjoy playing the game.

As plenty of people will attest, it's possible to meet a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband playing an online game, though you're right about not treating girls as shiney objects.

Far better to be single and happy than to spend your time "looking" for people to go out with and settling. I think you're far more likely to meet someone you connect with engaging in a hobby you enjoy, whatever that is.

 

[Andalusa]

Most guys that have found out I'm a girl have been pretty cool about it. One guy did try to chat me up over XBL, but that's been the only exception. All the others compliment me on a good game and that's it.
As for encountering a guy I find attractive, I'm going to have to say no. I don't play online looking for that sort of thing. I did have a friend on EVE Online and there was a lot of mutual flirting, but it was in game, of course nothing more would come out of it.

 

[PinkiePyro]

I have never met a attractive guy on a mutiplayer game yet then agin I dont go looking

one piece of advice is dont use stupid pick up lines and if your on an mmorpg then dont disturb someone who is grinding or KS 9 time out of 10 you will just piss them off

I personally quit 2 mmos because of the unwanted affection i was getting was making it hard to grind..

 

[Kimmalah]

Okay, so we all know the the reactions girls have to go through whenever they reveal thier female status in online games, usually ranging from OMG, to being told to make sammiches. But occasionally I have to listen to some poor guy genuinely attempt to hit on a girl via Xboxlive.

So my question is this, have you ever encountered a guy who sounded genuinely attractive (Mentally, emotionally) playing online video games? And perhaps you could share what they said as tips for the less smooth gamer, looking for love in, probably, the worst place possible.

I generally don't play multiplayer, so I don't really interact with my fellow gamers much.

My only tip is to just be friendly and treat them like a regular human being (in other words not "OMG you're a girl!!1"). If you come right out and start hitting on a girl during a game, she likely won't even give you a chance because this is the same crap she's heard a million times before. It can be a long process, get to know them and let things progress from there. Baby steps.

 

[Pseudopod]

I am a girl, and the only time I've come close to feeling attraction to someone online was during my two and a half years of playing WoW. I never pursued anything during that time, especially since I had a boyfriend over most of my WoW playing career. Close-knit guilds and other groups that play together frequently are a good way to get to know other gamers. I'm definitely not representitive of all women, but I don't make connections to new people with the intent of starting a romantic relationship. All my relationships have been with someone I've become attracted to after I built a friendship with them.

I actually did meet my boyfriend in WoW, but I didn't feel any attraction to him until a while after we both quit. My guild had a tradition of meeting at PAX every year that continued even after a lot of us no longer played. When WoW stopped dominating our conversations and gaming time, we began to realize that we both loved a lot of the same types of games, including long RPGs that we both wanted someone to talk to about. We became close friends online, talking often and playing other online games together. We had an informal "book club" for RPGs where we'd play them simultaneously and talk about them via voice chat and IM. Next PAX, we got all awkward, drunk, and cuddly. We confronted this via IM afterwards and decided to run with it. We spent over a year flying back and forth between Seattle and Texas for visits before he moved in with me permanently this past spring.

Anyway, the point of my story is that, yes, you can find real love over the internet. You can find love in a lot of surprising places. Just don't expect it to be straightforward. It can be a slow process and just hitting on people over Live is unlikely to work. Being natural and building a friendship over finding common interests is what worked for shy nerds like us. Meeting in real life as a group without romantic intent did a lot to help us become comfortable with each other. It was worth it, even if it did take about four years from our first meeting for us to get together.