A question for the ladies.

[similar.squirrel]

This was very informative. Thank you. Just to clarify, I wasn't asking for relationship advice, because I'm currently single.
The question had just been bugging me for a while now.
Also, thanks for not labelling me sexist.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

If a girl isn't telling you why she's mad, it's because you should already know. If you don't know, then you problem was likely one of consideration.

While not a complete re-direction, perhaps it's just something we don't need/want/know to consider?

For instance, if you are mad at us for not recognising your new X, perhaps it's because we don't know that you consider our opinion on X important. Especially when our opinion seems only appreciated if it agrees with yours...which you're not telling us.

That's really quite difficult to figure out.

Equally, if we're quite mad for you not recognising our new X, the standard counter is "Don't be so immature/oversensitive/sulky", which isn't really consideration for us.

(As usual, these are baselines. Individuals may/may not apply.)

One of the biggest problems of male/female relationships in general is that men tend to relax by forgetting (usually by retreating to their "cave"), while women tend to relax by sharing.

When you get men sharing or women retreating, that's often an entirely different set of emotions. (Joy or Pain, respectively)

The more a woman stands there in silence, the worse a guy feels. And the worse he feels, the more he'll try and "solve" your problem. And you already know how bad our "soloutions" can be. That's not how we recognise lack of consideration.

If we've really been a jerk, just say "You prat, how come you didn't X?", possibly followed up by a soft punch in the arm. It's a lot quicker, it doesn't get you as mad, and we're more likely to respond favourably.

Probably with flowers or chocolates. We're not too original.

 

[meselfshimself]

That scientific research?

It's talking about populations. It's not talking about individual persons.
It's talking about averages across huge groups of extremely varied people. It's not talking about anyone you know.

Yes its called statistics, they just take a handful of examples and use that as an average thats how statistics work!
Unfortunatley - we (the human race) use statistics as a base for just about all our data collection, you can't ask every indervidual a qestion, let alone ask them all to take a bunch of logical tests and do brain scans.
The moment we say 'statistics are meanless and dont represent everyone', we may as well just trash every last bit of data collection and research we have on human race.

"Women" is not a person. Don't talk about it like it is. It's an average that's completely meaningless in day-to-day life. It only has meaning when talking about populations, not when talking about individuals.

Really?
"That Women"
"Those two women"
????

 

[Hagi]

That scientific research?

It's talking about populations. It's not talking about individual persons.
It's talking about averages across huge groups of extremely varied people. It's not talking about anyone you know.

Yes of course its statistics, they just take a handful and use that as an average or example thats how statistics work!
Unfortunatley for - we (the human race) use statistics as a base for just about all our data collection, you can't ask every indervidual a qestion, let alone ask them all to take a bunch of logical tests and do brain scans.
The moment we say 'statistics are meanless and dont represent everyone', we may as well just trash every last bit of data collection and research we have on human race.

Statistics are fine for science, government and research. Because those things deal with populations. If you deal with populations then statistics will give you reliable information.

But if you deal with individuals you shouldn't make assumptions based on statistics. Because they weren't asked. Instead try asking them. It works much better and leads to actual reliable information.

This topic deals with individuals, not with populations. That means that statistics aren't reliable as anything more then vague indicators. And a post containing only statistics, like yours, is quite useless.

"Women" is not a person. Don't talk about it like it is. It's an average that's completely meaningless in day-to-day life. It only has meaning when talking about populations, not when talking about individuals.

Really?
"That Women"
"Those two women"
????

"That Women"? Really? I sincerely hope you're not a native English speaker.

"Those two women" is talking about groups.

See you can say "Those two gamers" because gamers is a group. You can not say "Those two Fred" because Fred is a person.

 

[meselfshimself]

Statistics are fine for science, government and research....

Which is exactly what I was posting - so what is the problem?

....Because those things deal with populations. If you deal with populations then statistics will give you reliable information.
But if you deal with individuals you shouldn't make assumptions based on statistics. Because they weren't asked. Instead try asking them. It works much better and leads to actual reliable information.

A population is what? - its a collection of inderviduals! if you are dealing with a population you ARE dealing with inderviduals weather you like it or not!
Inderviduals (plural) and a population are still both just groups of people!

And I did not see any rules in the original topic that said 'please refer only to inderviduals'
That's was happens on internet forums sometimes, topics occasionally change or get side tracked.
SORRY!

"That Women"? Really? I sincerely hope you're not a native English speaker.

"Those two women" is talking about groups.

.....hmmm or it can mean 'those two inderviduals' - anyway it was sarcasm

 

[AdeptaSororitas]

I try not too, but then, I never pull any punches. I try not to be pissy in general though.

 

[Hagi]

Statistics are fine for science, government and research....

Which is exactly what I was posting - so what is the problem?

....Because those things deal with populations. If you deal with populations then statistics will give you reliable information.
But if you deal with individuals you shouldn't make assumptions based on statistics. Because they weren't asked. Instead try asking them. It works much better and leads to actual reliable information.

A population is what? - its a collection of inderviduals! if you are dealing with a population you ARE dealing with inderviduals weather you like it or not!
Inderviduals (plural) and a population are still both just groups of people!

And I did not see any rules in the original topic that said 'please refer only to inderviduals'
That's was happens on internet forums sometimes, topics occasionally change or get side tracked.
SORRY!

"That Women"? Really? I sincerely hope you're not a native English speaker.

"Those two women" is talking about groups.

.....hmmm or it can mean 'those two inderviduals' - anyway it was sarcasm

"individuals" is also a group, not an individual. Just like "number" is a word and not a number.

And he's asking 'ladies' for advice. He isn't asking for one big collective answer, statistics would apply to that. He's asking for individuals to give their opinion.

And just because if you're dealing with populations means you're dealing with individuals does not mean that dealing with individuals means you're dealing with populations. That's a one-way street. And you went the wrong way.

Statistics are great! Mighty useful, but they're not the ultimate solution. They can not and do not account for individual differences, which in topics like these are quite important.

Backing up your claims with statistics is great, it lends extra weight. But the moment your post contains only general statistics you're not adding anything to the discussion and only cause confusion.

 

[meselfshimself]

Much like you are not adding to the discussion by picking my post apart.
Are you speaking as an 'indervidual' here or as the self appointed spokes person for everyone in this thread?
No offence but why do you even feel the need to police my posts for what is or isn't relevent?

If you look back on this thread, it also touches in on the subject of generalization in the way some men and women behave/react. Like I said threads can change, drift and evolve - what's so confusing about that?
When I see a post that I find confusing or O.T - I just ignore it and move on. because if you challenge it, you only drag it on for longer.
Now,this thread has well and truley gone O.T thanks to our silly bickering (for which you are 50% responsible.)

Im done here.

 

[Hagi]

Are you speaking as an 'indervidual' or as the self appointed spokes sperson for everyone in this thread?
No offence but why do you even feel the need to police my posts for what is or isn't relevent to a topic that you didnt even start?

If you look back on this thread, it also touches in on the subject of generalization in the way some men and women behave/react. Like I said threads can change, drift and evolve - what's so confusing about that?
When I see a post that I find confusing or O.T - I just ignore it and move on. because if you challenge it, you only drag it on for longer.
Now,this thread has well and truley gone O.T thanks to our silly bickering (for which you are 50% responsible.)

I'm speaking for me and me alone. I'm doing it because I want to. I'm free to post what I consider worth posting, as long as it does not break the forum rules. Which is up to the mods to decide.

I don't consider this 'silly' bickering. I consider it worth discussing, I would not reply if I did not. If you do consider this then why are you replying? You're on an anonymous forum with random strangers, there's no need to defend yourself. Reply if you think it worth it, don't reply if you don't.

Applying statistics in the wrong context, like you did, causes confusion as you're basically making gross generalizations. Generalizations where they're not needed, like if you're dealing with individuals and not populations, cause confusion.

Look, don't reply if you consider this silly bickering. I'm just one of 6 billion opinions on this planet, I'm nobody important. If you want to have an actual discussion I'm up for that, but don't accuse me of silly bickering when there's nothing forcing you to reply.

 

[meselfshimself]

Cool then we're both done.