About Valentine's Day

[Phasmal]

Father's Day is not aggressively pushed down the throats of people as Valentine's Day is, and having a bad relationship with your father is not as stigmatized as being single (in Ezekiel's case, perpetually single) is.

If you're alright with being single and don't mind Valentine's, then that's fair, but don't shame other people for their hostility towards the holiday.

Apart from some change in advertising and cheesy hearts in shop windows, I don't think it's that aggressively pushed. When I was single, I never even used to notice when it was Valentine's. Still, I dunno, maybe it's different in different places.

And I'm not mad at people being mad at the holiday. I just don't like people who are bitchy to people in relationships around Valentine's because they're not in a relationship. That shit is unnecessary.

 

[Sonmi]

Apart from some change in advertising and cheesy hearts in shop windows, I don't think it's that aggressively pushed. When I was single, I never even used to notice when it was Valentine's. Still, I dunno, maybe it's different in different places.

It's not only advertisement, it's also rather prominent as a cultural event in TV shows, movies, and well, in general. If you never really suffered from that loneliness blues, then it's possible that it simply never really hit you.

And I'm not mad at people being mad at the holiday. I just don't like people who are bitchy to people in relationships around Valentine's because they're not in a relationship. That shit is unnecessary.

I don't think it's being bitchy to people in relationships rather than simply airing their frustrations with the event. I don't think have-nots complaining about their loneliness is meant to target the people celebrating their love for one another rather than simply how put on a pedestal having a special someone is on that special day.

I agree that people make a too big a deal out of being single and could focus on other things, but I think it's rather condescending to tell these people that they shouldn't make couples feel bad by venting.

 

[Phasmal]

I don't think it's being bitchy to people in relationships rather than simply airing their frustrations with the event. I don't think have-nots complaining about their loneliness is meant to target the people celebrating their love for one another rather than simply how put on a pedestal having a special someone is on that special day.

I agree that people make a too big a deal out of being single and could focus on other things, but I think it's rather condescending to tell these people that they shouldn't make couples feel bad by venting.

Well, I mean, when I was first posting I was talking about a dude who literally told me to my face he wished I didn't get to spend Valentine's Day with my boyfriend because he wanted people in relationships to be unhappy on Valentines. I think we can all agree that is unnecessary shit.
If saying that is condescending, well tough. I think it's more condescending to treat single people with kid gloves if they're rude to you about Valentines.
So I guess we'd have to agree to disagree.

 

[Sonmi]

I don't think it's being bitchy to people in relationships rather than simply airing their frustrations with the event. I don't think have-nots complaining about their loneliness is meant to target the people celebrating their love for one another rather than simply how put on a pedestal having a special someone is on that special day.

I agree that people make a too big a deal out of being single and could focus on other things, but I think it's rather condescending to tell these people that they shouldn't make couples feel bad by venting.

Well, I mean, when I was first posting I was talking about a dude who literally told me to my face he wished I didn't get to spend Valentine's Day with my boyfriend because he wanted people in relationships to be unhappy on Valentines. I think we can all agree that is unnecessary shit.

This guy's an asshole, granted, but I don't think people acting like that are really that common. Someone must have pissed in his corn flakes or something.

 

[McElroy]

installing tinder on our phones so that we could laugh at the posing dude bros with bad pick up lines.

Haha, two weeks and your relationship is over. :^)

It's not that women have super-high standards and men have basically none. That's just a stereotype. If that were true there'd be no single women who don't want to be single.

Ezekiel is talking about average-looking, semi-intelligent women. I don't like this "easy" go-to explanation either, but only because it's too simple. Men's "high" standards aren't keeping average women single, but there could be a bunch of other reasons.

I just don't like people who are bitchy to people in relationships around Valentine's because they're not in a relationship.

Let's admit it, it's not just around Valentine's.

 

[Baffle]

Father's Day is not aggressively pushed down the throats of people as Valentine's Day is, and having a bad relationship with your father is not as stigmatized as being single (in Ezekiel's case, perpetually single) is.

I would say that in the UK mother's day (though not father's) is very much pushed as hard as Valentine's. Honestly, I don't buy into Valentine's (literally, I bought her nothing) but the idea of being seen as a shit and ungrateful offspring?! No thanks!

 

[Igor-Rowan]

I celebrated Valentine's Day with my new girlfriend in Paris this year. France is her dream country so I decided to make a great surprise for her. I found where to stay for free at Paris and booked cheap tickets to save more money. Paris is quite expencive city, as for me. But my girlfriend was astonished. It was unforgettable journey for us.

 

[stroopwafel]

It's a combination of shyness, prior failures, laziness and lack of interest in other people. I'm self-centered. I'd rather be by myself most of the time, even though it makes me feel worse with time. Being affable and talkative would feel fake at this point.

Maybe it's also stubborn masochism. Maybe I've been isolated and depressed so long that I prefer it.

That's a very common reaction. It's that ''critical inner voice'' that discourages you from taking action then stabs you in the back for not doing so. You don't have to overidentify with your thoughts or emotions. You could say ''yeah it makes sense I feel bitter or frustrated given the situation'' and then subsequently not resort to the kind of self-flagellation that only makes you feel even worse about yourself. Instead whenever you feel that way treat yourself to something nice or offer yourself comfort similarly like a best friend would.

If you want to make changes do so but don't let 'failure' be a crushing defeat. Don't try to make negative comparisons to others so much. Try approaching women without all the baggage. We only have a short time on this earth what point is there being unhappy?

 

[McElroy]

snip

Well, rejecting is always easier. What I meant by too simple is that it makes it easy to just point the finger at women. Like that's basically "ugh, why don't you just STOP [being so choosy]!" It's indeed true, but as I said I don't like it - on it's own it just puts people on the defensive.

 

[Nickolai77]

In China they have a thing called "Singles Day", which is basically the opposite to Valentines Day, only for single people were you basically self-indulge on your personnel favourite hobbies and interests. The date is, suitably, the 11th November (11/11) but unfortunately it clashes with Remembrance Day in the UK so I can't see the idea catching on here.

I never liked Valentines Day, single or in a relationship. If you're single it's a reminder that you are, and if you're in a relationship it's a load of unnecessary fuss and ritual. It's better in my opinion to celebrate anniversaries in relationships.

 

[Ava Wilson]

When I studied at school, V-day was a day when guys could take courage and make a declaration of love))) Now I'm married and we don't celebrate this day as a holiday, but we don't forget to say pleasant words to each other.

 

[RaikuFA]

I hate this holiday. Even if I wasn't single I'd hate it. This is my Friday the 13th as nothing good has happened to me on this day.