Absolute Gaming Truths

[Psycho.Gane]

Your sword will always be bigger than you are.

It's not always my sword.......

Bwahahahahahahahahah!

 

[Hristo Petrov]

In JRPG's if the hero is male and has a sister there is a 90% chance she is not a blood relative

 

[xqxm]

If you encounter a large cache of weapons, ammo and healthkits, you are about to get rolled on.

 

[Kilowog17]

You can survive multiple stab wounds, except in a cut scene.
Your character always performs cooler moves in a cut scene than in actual game play.

 

[Caligulove]

There are little repercussions to taking stuff when no one is around- even in someones house

 

[xqxm]

Wherever you choose to shoot Zakhaev, his decoy arm will shoot off, to confuse you and allow him to make his escape. Oh, Russians, you clever dogs.

Wherever you choose to shoot him the second time around, he will instantly die from the sheer shock and the audacity of your actions.

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

Female/shemale JRPG characters take six hours to get dressed.

 

[Caligulove]

serious injuries are not equal-opportunity killers when a Main Character is involved

 

[funguy2121]

No guy can ever beat their girlfriend and Mario Kart. It's impossible. It's almost better to not try.

Everybody who has ever played The Sims has made their boss and put them in a room with no windows, no doors, and several ovens.

That's called "letting them win," and you should have developed better getting-laid tactics by now.

For shame.

Edit: also, as there is a great variety of gamers out there, you should never enter an online forum and post comments referring to TF2, GZGLA17, etc.

 

[EuanMack]

If a light flickers off and on, your about to die

 

[Distorted Stu]

Everyone is able to stand up forever if they wanted

 

[Soxafloppin]

Theres a few enemies beside that exploding barrel.

Shoot it.

allso, you should really pay more attension to the cutscenes your NOT in.

 

[Phenakist]

More Variables = Less Balance

 

[DRTJR]

if both parents are alive one or both will die before the end of the tutorial

 

[rokkolpo]

fire will never look as good as in real life.

 

[Garaw]

The only certainties are death and crates.

Your total encumbrance is equal to the weight of whatever weapon you have equipped.

Let dramatic musical stings be your guide.

 

[ejb626]

You can take several bullets to the chest but as long as you stay out of the way of fire, the wounds will go away.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Grenades in the future are slow enough for you to lean over, pick them up, cook a pancake, visit the moon and then toss into a russians mouth.