Absolute worst job in video games? *Spoilers apparent*

[Uratoh]

Now a lot of video game NPCs/etc have terrible jobs...especially when the heroes show up. Of course, that makes ANYONE'S job bad...but what's the worst 'without hero intervention' job in all these games?

Inspired by the two government soldiers in the South Park video game, whos job it is to hang out inside Mr. Slave's rectum and ensure the Snuke isn't tampered with. To wit...their job is to spend their last few hours alive shrunken down and stuffed up a gay man's ass.

What are some other terrible jobs?

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Probably guards in open world games. They just stand in one specific spot for their whole lives. I mean, sometimes they might be lucky to get relieved at night, but that depends on the game. Otherwise, they just stand around until they die of old age or get prematurely killed by the protagonist who has turned crazy.

 

[Racecarlock]

The soldiers in Just Cause 2.

"He got me with his wire thing!"

 

[Ditzydoo]

Any gas-masked/faceless Corporate guard, army soldier or mercenary in any "conspiracy" style game or a sci-fi game, you're gonna die either by the monsters hands (in a bloody horrendous cut scene) or the player character.

 

[leberkaese]

Hostile NPCs in any MMORPG. Especially if they're part of a quest. They get killed over and over, after living only for a few minutes or even seconds.
Their live is agony, they'll never find their peace because some power always resurrects them, only to see them killed again and again!

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

In tutorials, that first guy the game forces you to kill to continue on. Poor sod doesn't even have a chance. He only exists to die at your hands, over and over again.

 

[FPLOON]

The main honcho who handles your tutorial training in any fighting game... So many times do they have to wish you make it on your first try...

 

[Steve Waltz]

Being a helicopter pilot in the Resident Evil games. That right there is a death sentence. The scummy you are the longer you live, but you'll get dropped eventually.

 

[Vegosiux]

Obviously, the border control clerk at the East Grestin checkpoint. A thankless job if I ever saw one. Thanks, October Labor Lottery!

 

[Auron225]

Green Koopas

Poor bastards are ordered to walk west no matter what, in a pathetic attempt to bump into Mario and should he have the sense to effortlessly jump over them then they must continue straight into a bottomless ravine without hesitation.

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

Goombas have it even worse than Green Koopas. At least they can survive one hit.

Also these:

http://brawlinthefamily.keenspot.com/2013/11/06/525-gamings-worst-jobs/

 

[Something Amyss]

Probably guards in open world games. They just stand in one specific spot for their whole lives. I mean, sometimes they might be lucky to get relieved at night, but that depends on the game. Otherwise, they just stand around until they die of old age or get prematurely killed by the protagonist who has turned crazy.

Do you think they envy the ones who walk in a linear route? At least they get to move...A little.

 

[Barbas]

Every single poor, bored bastard who has to wear a baseball cap and stare at a hideously mal-textured console in Daikatana.

"Computers today is easy to use." 'Nuff said.

Probably guards in open world games. They just stand in one specific spot for their whole lives. I mean, sometimes they might be lucky to get relieved at night, but that depends on the game. Otherwise, they just stand around until they die of old age or get prematurely killed by the protagonist who has turned crazy.

"Evenin' m'lord. Helps to have a map." Does it, BOLLOCKS!

...At least the guards in Oblivion had (relatively) well-textured faces and got to go to sleep, walk to and from the barracks and telekinetically consume cheese.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

The guards in Elder Scrolls games.

They die, reincarnate and die again if there is an adventurer loose in the city.

Either that, or entire family trees get slaughtered if there be adventurers about, be it if they snapped and took things out on NPCs, or if they are taking part in an invasion quest.

 

[prowll]

Every single poor, bored bastard who has to wear a baseball cap and stare at a hideously mal-textured console in Daikatana.

"Computers today is easy to use." 'Nuff said.

...YOU BOUGHT DAIKATANA??

 

[Barbas]

Every single poor, bored bastard who has to wear a baseball cap and stare at a hideously mal-textured console in Daikatana.

"Computers today is easy to use." 'Nuff said.

...YOU BOUGHT DAIKATANA??

*Projectile vomiting* Oh Jesus, don't do that to me! :C

No, no, I wouldn't do that! I watched some horrified reviews of it and the tiny-headed, triangle-faced NPCs seemed like one of its worst points...after the button assignment, textures...plot...controls...pretty much everything. Not the guns, though; they seemed impressively varied.

 

[Gizmo1990]

Being a member of the black spider ninja clan in Ninja Gaiden. Every one of them always says the same line 'I'm going to kill the hated Dragon Ninja!'.

No, no you are not and do you want to know why random Black spider ninja clan member? You are not going to kill him because he is Ryu Hayabusa, a ninja who is literly know as the Ultimate ninja, and you are nobody. You don't even have a name.

 

[Groxnax]

How about any job when you find out you are working in the First Town in an RPG.

Because those towns sometimes get wrecked.

 

[Dalisclock]

I would have thought it would be obvious.

The janitor who has to clean up all the bodies and blood your character leaves in his/her path.

 

[kilenem]

The guy who has to clean up the dead body's in the borderlands 2 arenas